Author speedster Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 scorched earth has been on my mind, and i am not eliminating it as an option, depending of course on how reasonable and civil she is. texas does recognize infidelity as factor, and it is grounds for divorce.
Woggle Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 scorched earth has been on my mind, and i am not eliminating it as an option, depending of course on how reasonable and civil she is. texas does recognize infidelity as factor, and it is grounds for divorce. Name it in the divorce petition. You have a better chance of reasoning with Charles Manson on acid than you do a cheating woman with an entitlement complex. 1
drifter777 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 no kids thankfully. i do feel like she expects me to just take it in stride. she seems to have no empathy at all for me, the crushing pain of betrayal, the magnitude of the loss of trust. i don't understand how a person cannot feel for someone they love, and hurt. Tell her to stay at her mom's and file for divorce asap. There is way too much broken in your marriage and no reason to go through the hell of reconciliation if there are no children at stake. Break clean and start a new life. I wish you well.
Mz. Pixie Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 In four years of marriage she's cheated on you with at least two guys she has admitted? Before marriage when you were clinging to life she was out living the good life while you were in the hospital??? I cannot imagine leaving my man's side! No children- and she is full of entitlement? I rarely recommend divorce but she sounds like she only cares about herself. Be fair- but divorce her none the less- she CANNOT be trusted. She has already proven that. Then, move on to find someone who will really love you.
YellowShark Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 ...admitted she cheated on me 8 months ago at her HS reunion...and then again in early may with the same guy, and at least one other. Enough. Divorce. Stop being a doormat. 3 strikes you're out. Here's my rule of thumb speedster, "Once a cheater not always a cheater... TWICE a cheater ALWAYS a cheater." What you have on your hands is a cheater. 100% And she is the worst kind of cheater, one without remorse or a conscience. Please don't waste any more of your life with this woman. She will only cheat again. And remember, you are in love with who you thought she was... not who she truly is. I am not being harsh, I am sending you a wakeup call. (She will do it again, I promise you.) Good luck.
Entropy3000 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Enough. Divorce. Stop being a doormat. 3 strikes you're out. Here's my rule of thumb speedster, "Once a cheater not always a cheater... TWICE a cheater ALWAYS a cheater." What you have on your hands is a cheater. 100% And she is the worst kind of cheater, one without remorse or a conscience. Please don't waste any more of your life with this woman. She will only cheat again. And remember, you are in love with who you thought she was... not who she truly is. I am not being harsh, I am sending you a wakeup call. (She will do it again, I promise you.) Good luck. Great phrase. Very wise indeed.
Author speedster Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 thank you all for your input. i appreciate your candor and advice. i see the lawyer monday.
YellowShark Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 thank you all for your input. i appreciate your candor and advice. i see the lawyer monday. Good luck Speedster. Remember to always take the high road, don't get sucked down into the gutter with her. Hold your head high, you did nothing wrong, and prepare for a huge fight. She sounds like the type that will make your life a living hell because she doesn't take any ownership for what she does. So when you tell her that your seeking legal advice she WILL try to pass the blame and lay everything on your lap. Just warning you. Don't be doormat, be a man with honour and dignity. When she sees she can't dent your armour it'll drive her absolutely nuts. If she breaks you down and you loose your cool, she'll feel vindicated and think she's won. Terrible position she has put you in, but she is an "enemy of the state" now. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! Best of luck.
Binster Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Sorry mate but this ones an obvious loser. DUMP HER. Good luck.
OldOnTheInside Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 While I don't believe in making too many assumptions about her actions, there is little reason to look out for her now. Every action has a reaction. She takes care of you, you take care of her. She acts selfishly, you respond selfishly. Look after yourself in every way possible. Physically, mentally, legally ect.
Author speedster Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 well, whoever said she was going to make my life hell underestimated her. before moving out we had an argument, not a major one, and it was early in the evening. i ended it by saying i was going upstairs to watch tv, and she needed some rest too. she said 'this isn't over'... i shrugged it off. about 1am i get a text- 'passion' was all. i replied 'go to bed' and i fell back to sleep. about an hour later i get a text 'help'... i texted back '?'.. nothing. i waited a few more minutes... then went downstairs to look for her. back door was unlocked. she and her dog were missing. i went outside and there was the dog, no woman. i went back upstairs, got a flashlight, turned on the pool lights and went back down. got the dog, no one else around, except i heard voices coming from up front. i went back inside with the dog. i walked out the front door and am blinded by lights mounted on large guns and police yelling at me. i did as ordered, walking backward up the driveway in nothing but boxers. i am tightly cuffed and put in the back of a squad car, read my rights and am told my stbx called 911 and told them i threatened to kill her, was on drugs, and armed. i calmly explained that i was in bed and was searching for her after i received the text asking for help. they asked to search the place, i said not without a warrant. they asked me a dozen times to repeat what happened. i did without a hitch. then they said she was acting confused and called an ambulance for her. well, after 2hrs in a sweltering car, cuffed like a maniac, they finally opened the door and let me go, as the ambulance was taking her to a hospital. the officers apologized to me, said i was obviously not a threat, was not on drugs or agitated, so they let me go. she no longer lives here- actually she's 300 miles away. i hope she stays there.
rafallus Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 She deserves a straitjacket. Not much more can be said.
michelangelo Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 She will only cheat again. And remember, you are in love with who you thought she was... not who she truly is. I am not being harsh, I am sending you a wakeup call. (She will do it again, I promise you.) Good luck. I agree! Giving up on that illusion of who she is is key to moving on. The woman you love doesn't exist.
StoneCold Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 well, whoever said she was going to make my life hell underestimated her. before moving out we had an argument, not a major one, and it was early in the evening. i ended it by saying i was going upstairs to watch tv, and she needed some rest too. she said 'this isn't over'... i shrugged it off. about 1am i get a text- 'passion' was all. i replied 'go to bed' and i fell back to sleep. about an hour later i get a text 'help'... i texted back '?'.. nothing. i waited a few more minutes... then went downstairs to look for her. back door was unlocked. she and her dog were missing. i went outside and there was the dog, no woman. i went back upstairs, got a flashlight, turned on the pool lights and went back down. got the dog, no one else around, except i heard voices coming from up front. i went back inside with the dog. i walked out the front door and am blinded by lights mounted on large guns and police yelling at me. i did as ordered, walking backward up the driveway in nothing but boxers. i am tightly cuffed and put in the back of a squad car, read my rights and am told my stbx called 911 and told them i threatened to kill her, was on drugs, and armed. i calmly explained that i was in bed and was searching for her after i received the text asking for help. they asked to search the place, i said not without a warrant. they asked me a dozen times to repeat what happened. i did without a hitch. then they said she was acting confused and called an ambulance for her. well, after 2hrs in a sweltering car, cuffed like a maniac, they finally opened the door and let me go, as the ambulance was taking her to a hospital. the officers apologized to me, said i was obviously not a threat, was not on drugs or agitated, so they let me go. she no longer lives here- actually she's 300 miles away. i hope she stays there. Whoa this is scary.... your wife is a very dangerous person. You do realize that she was scheming to set you up ....right? You had an argument...she says "this is not over" as you go up stairs. You get some strange texts that were designed to get you to approach her (texts like "help") and then minutes later the cops show up??? Heres what she was planning for you.....She texts "help"...you come down to find her outside; you ask her whats up...she instigates an argument and lunges at you...you try to fend her off to defend yourself which means you'll have to put your hands on her RIGHT AS THE COPS ROLL UP..... its right at this moment that your goose gets COOKED!!! How do I know this?... I've seen this happen too many times... it even happened to a client of mine last month. all a woman has to do is just open her mouth and say "stuff" to the cops and the guy is boned.....women, IMHO have faar too much power that is simply handed to them because they have a VaJJ.
Bryanp Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I hope you have the best lawyer in the world. What a psycho. You need to divorce as soon as possible.
bentnotbroken Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 well, whoever said she was going to make my life hell underestimated her. before moving out we had an argument, not a major one, and it was early in the evening. i ended it by saying i was going upstairs to watch tv, and she needed some rest too. she said 'this isn't over'... i shrugged it off. about 1am i get a text- 'passion' was all. i replied 'go to bed' and i fell back to sleep. about an hour later i get a text 'help'... i texted back '?'.. nothing. i waited a few more minutes... then went downstairs to look for her. back door was unlocked. she and her dog were missing. i went outside and there was the dog, no woman. i went back upstairs, got a flashlight, turned on the pool lights and went back down. got the dog, no one else around, except i heard voices coming from up front. i went back inside with the dog. i walked out the front door and am blinded by lights mounted on large guns and police yelling at me. i did as ordered, walking backward up the driveway in nothing but boxers. i am tightly cuffed and put in the back of a squad car, read my rights and am told my stbx called 911 and told them i threatened to kill her, was on drugs, and armed. i calmly explained that i was in bed and was searching for her after i received the text asking for help. they asked to search the place, i said not without a warrant. they asked me a dozen times to repeat what happened. i did without a hitch. then they said she was acting confused and called an ambulance for her. well, after 2hrs in a sweltering car, cuffed like a maniac, they finally opened the door and let me go, as the ambulance was taking her to a hospital. the officers apologized to me, said i was obviously not a threat, was not on drugs or agitated, so they let me go. she no longer lives here- actually she's 300 miles away. i hope she stays there. I would put cameras in my home and VAR's(yes plural). There is something seriously out of bounds with this chick(can't even call her a woman....a vagina does NOT make you a woman:mad:). Protect yourself physically. Alarm system, the whole nine yards.
StoneCold Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 When I was a young lad just "discovering" women my mom warned me of the destructive potential a woman can have on a man. I initially thought she was simply being an over protective mother who cant cut the umbilical cord.... I wasnt until I got significantly older and gathered a lot more experience under my belt that I finally began to see what she was trying to tell me.
Tech_E Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Holy heck man, that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. It is terrifying to know that a simple phone call from a woman can often land us in massive trouble. Well handled and good for you fro handling it with a calm attitude. I'd second that suggestion to install video cameras and carry a VAR.
StoneCold Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) Holy heck man, that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. It is terrifying to know that a simple phone call from a woman can often land us in massive trouble. You don know the half of it... I've witnessed stuff like this so often that I'm not surprised...its always scary to hear but I'm never surprised Not to Hijack this thread but women...just incase you were wondering why you get "victimized" by the defending lawyer in court...attacking your character...THIS is why; you have your own gender to thank for this one. A woman hauls a guy off into court and he doesnt have a prayer (its not even a question of proving guilt...hes automatically guilty because hes a man)....and the women KNOW this... attacking the woman's character is all the guy has left as a defense and if he doesnt go that angle he may as well pack up and save everyone the time, money and hassel and just go straight to jail.... forget about innocence/guilt; thats an "insignificant and irrelevant detail"....its jail time in the OPs case his wife sabotaged her self (thank god) by showing poor and questionable character right up front. OP....good on you for remaining calm and reasonable because if you didnt you'd be done like dinner Edited July 27, 2011 by StoneCold
Washburn Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 well, whoever said she was going to make my life hell underestimated her. before moving out we had an argument, not a major one, and it was early in the evening. i ended it by saying i was going upstairs to watch tv, and she needed some rest too. she said 'this isn't over'... i shrugged it off. about 1am i get a text- 'passion' was all. i replied 'go to bed' and i fell back to sleep. about an hour later i get a text 'help'... i texted back '?'.. nothing. i waited a few more minutes... then went downstairs to look for her. back door was unlocked. she and her dog were missing. i went outside and there was the dog, no woman. i went back upstairs, got a flashlight, turned on the pool lights and went back down. got the dog, no one else around, except i heard voices coming from up front. i went back inside with the dog. i walked out the front door and am blinded by lights mounted on large guns and police yelling at me. i did as ordered, walking backward up the driveway in nothing but boxers. i am tightly cuffed and put in the back of a squad car, read my rights and am told my stbx called 911 and told them i threatened to kill her, was on drugs, and armed. i calmly explained that i was in bed and was searching for her after i received the text asking for help. they asked to search the place, i said not without a warrant. they asked me a dozen times to repeat what happened. i did without a hitch. then they said she was acting confused and called an ambulance for her. well, after 2hrs in a sweltering car, cuffed like a maniac, they finally opened the door and let me go, as the ambulance was taking her to a hospital. the officers apologized to me, said i was obviously not a threat, was not on drugs or agitated, so they let me go. she no longer lives here- actually she's 300 miles away. i hope she stays there. Get a restraining order? If nothing else, getting one will make her look like the psycho she is I spose. If you havent already get those divorce papers get them ASAP. Hell try to get it annulled. Obviously on the grounds of her cheating and filing a false police report (as the cops said its obvious you didnt do anything wrong)
Memphis Raines Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 since she told me she has been apologetic, angry, resentful, accusatory toward me- digging to see if i have done anything wrong (haven't). in other words, unremorseful. hoping you had cheated at some point too so she won't feel as bad. she resisted counceling, rejected articles on rebuilding trust i have given her, and seems much more concerned with how all this is affecting her, and giving little to no thought about my feelings. time to give her the pink slip then. she says she wants to work on it, but has done little to no research and hasn't come up with any real answers as to why, why she kept it secret for 8 months, and why she even told me. my guess would be she thought that there might be some way you would find out. so a therapist told her she cannot work on her marriage while she is away (staying at her moms) and so she wants to come home, but wouldn't talk about restrictions and said she needs to work on herself. of course she doesn't want any restrictions. she doesn't want to act like a wife, much less earn a 2nd chance with you(which I hate to say you will probably give her given your props of calling her a "beautiful wife" in the first sentence) She wants to simply get away with this and doesn't want to suffer any consequences. And she WILL go back to her hometown and she WILL cheat again. Big test there is that each time she goes back, suggest you go with her. whaddya wanna bet she takes offense to this, gets upset about it, or tries to encourage you to stay home? no mention of me. i feel she wants to come back to build a nest-egg to utilize when/if divorce happens. she does not work, i provide everything. i had few if any restrictions on her, as i trusted her with my life. well you shouldn't worry about alimony, unless you forbid her to work. if she chose not to work on her own, then she can go out and get her cheating ass a job. i am sure i am leaving out details, so please ask any questions. what do you think of this? I think you shouldn't waste any more of your short time on this planet with this wretch. Trust me, divorce is hard, but once its all said and done, you WILL recover financially, you WILL have a great life aftewards. And you WILL find a decent woman. They are out there. Do you have kids with her? If not, its real easy. Go see an attorney. if you do, still see an attorney.
Memphis Raines Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 i contacted a lawyer, made sure my assets are protected but have no filed. the fact i talked to a lawyer infuriated her. and the fact she was infuriated instead of upset that you are thinking about ending the marriage is all too telling as to WHY you should get rid of her. As far as protecting your assets, she is entitled to half of all assets accumulated while married, even if her name isn't on any accounts. but let your lawyer guide you and answer NO questions she has. let the attorneys do the talking. agree to nothing when alone with her.
Memphis Raines Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 and if no kids, and only been married a certain small number of years, you can still get an annulment. then its just a matter of her getting the F out of the house.
StoneCold Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 For those of you who are recommending an annulment... know that an anulment is not easy to get and very few marriages would actually qualify... Where I am these are the grounds for annulment... 1) There was a legal defect in the wedding ceremony (i.e...not married by someone has the legal ability to marry) 2) Capacity - The marriage contract was entered into with someone who is not old enough to enter into a contract (under 18) or at least one of the parties to the contract entered into it under duress. This also includes - shotgun weddings, intoxication, bigamy, mantally infirm parties, incest, fraud. 3) Non Consumation - Where it is not possible to consumate the marriage...it doesnt include a choice to not have sex. Not too many marriages fit this bill....Now I realize the laws tend to be slightly different from state to state, province to province...but family law tends to stay somewhat similar amoungst the secular countries of the civilized world. I highly, highly, highly doubt he could have it annulled.
SoulStorm Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 When I was a young lad just "discovering" women my mom warned me of the destructive potential a woman can have on a man. I initially thought she was simply being an over protective mother who cant cut the umbilical cord.... I wasnt until I got significantly older and gathered a lot more experience under my belt that I finally began to see what she was trying to tell me. Here's a tidbit for you...Women don't trust women
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