WWDDFD Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Hi there! I'm going on a 5th date with a girl and I think she's losing interest in me because I haven't made a move yet (I'm kind of shy). I wanted to but haven't had the courage to yet. So I had promised myself that I want to try to kiss her tonight at the end of the date. ... only problem is... I developed a cold sore within the last 48 hours. Now I don't know what to do. I think it would be terribly rude of me if I tried something like that with a sore on my lip. Hell I'm thinking about canceling the date altogether, but I'm not going to do that. I want to be confident about my downsides for once in my life any not let this ruin what could be a good night. I also want to let her know that I am interested in a moving towards a more romantic relationship at this point in time... so what the hell do I do? I was thinking of saying "Hey I'd really like to kiss you goodnight, but unfortunately I can't because of this thing on my lip. Can I get a rain check?". Is that cheesy? Anyway, thanks.
Cee Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 You seem to have some terrible luck, don't you? I'm sorry. If the cold sore is visible and looks bad, I would cancel the date and that you have a sore throat. And that you are worried you are coming down with the flu. And you don't want to get her sick. Yes, it's a big fat lie, but a plausible excuse. Reschedule the date and also have a good phone convo with her. Joke around and flirt so that she knows you are into her and feel bad about canceling. Plan B- Go on the date. Tell her you have a sore throat and think it's a bad idea to kiss. But hold her hand, cuddle with her, and give her lots of non kissing affection.
oldguy Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Is it an obvious sore? I don't think I'd be laying a lip on the girl if there is an open sore on it but I admire you for pushing past your shyness & wanting to go on the date.
Author WWDDFD Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 Yeah I just looked, it's pretty obvious. Don't worry I wouldn't dare attempt to kiss like this, could spread the damn virus Too late to cancel, we confirmed that it's still on, if I flake out now it'll be obvious I'm making something up. Going to go through with the date and try a hug. Sigh.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 She seems to want to be you. I suggest taking that as good enough reason to be confident with her and stop obsessing about first kiss concerns. Try to just minimize it as much as possible. If you do have a "moment" with her where kissing is imminent you could say something about it like what you said in you're OP. In the mean time get some Neosporin or bacitracin on it and keep applying it liberally. You'd be surprised how quickly it can reduce.
thatone Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 If you do have a "moment" with her where kissing is imminent you could say something about it like what you said in you're OP. yeah, i was gonna say the same thing. there's nothing wrong with that. if the signs are there that she wants you to get closer to her physically just point out the obvious and make a joke about it. "however unfortunate it is to go on 5 dates with the same woman without getting to a kiss, since i got this cold sore i guess we'll just have to live on anticipation for another few days" preclude with a long silence of eye contact. hold her hand as you're saying it. the point will be made and she'll be on the same page.
Cee Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Best of luck on your date and if things work out with this woman, you both will be joking about this night for a long time to come. I vote for some hand holding in lieu of a kiss. Personally, I find holding someone's hand a more romantic gesture than a hug. But I'm not going on your date so you can tell me to stfu.
Room Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I was thinking of saying "Hey I'd really like to kiss you goodnight, but unfortunately I can't because of this thing on my lip. Can I get a rain check?". I like this idea
blackmagik Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Definitely go on the date and give her some kinds of affection immediately! Hell if the cold sore isn't noticeable go for a kiss anyway, stop giving yourself excuses to not give this girl affection before you lose her completely or get friend-zoned.
youngskywalker Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I vote for some hand holding in lieu of a kiss. Personally, I find holding someone's hand a more romantic gesture than a hug. Exactly, just make sure you show some affection; touching, holding hands, hugging and you'll be fine. If she put up with you for 5 dates I don't think missing the kiss on the 6th is going to break the relationship. But is you don't show any romantic contact you're going to be on thin ice.
Author WWDDFD Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 Well, didn't get that far. Before the "date" she objected to me taking her to an expensive restaurant. I cajoled her into accepting after a while... I thought it was because she was trying to be nice, turns out she had an entirely different reason altogether. So when the bill came she decided it was time to set me straight about "us", as in there is no "us", she just doesn't have any feelings for me. I'm a great guy etc and she hopes this doesn't mean we won't still go out and talk on the phone... ugh. Tried that before... it never ends well. She kept saying "well if it happens it happens", which is new to me. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, I am thinking maybe she felt bad about letting me down and decided it means that she'd rather give me a little bit of false hope of something that probably won't happen than crush my dreams forever. I have no idea. Very confused... I really like her but if she has no interest in me I just can't do this again.
alethean Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Aw, sorry! You're right though, if she isn't interested it probably is not worth wasting your time.
trueluV Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Well, didn't get that far. Before the "date" she objected to me taking her to an expensive restaurant. I cajoled her into accepting after a while... I thought it was because she was trying to be nice, turns out she had an entirely different reason altogether. So when the bill came she decided it was time to set me straight about "us", as in there is no "us", she just doesn't have any feelings for me. I'm a great guy etc and she hopes this doesn't mean we won't still go out and talk on the phone... ugh. Tried that before... it never ends well. She kept saying "well if it happens it happens", which is new to me. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, I am thinking maybe she felt bad about letting me down and decided it means that she'd rather give me a little bit of false hope of something that probably won't happen than crush my dreams forever. I have no idea. Very confused... I really like her but if she has no interest in me I just can't do this again. I'm so sorry to hear that! she went on 5 dates with you and told you she doesn't have any romantic feelings for you...5 dates...really, how did she put up with that?? i feel so sorry for you, i'm a girl, but pretty much in the same shoes as you. i went on about or more than 10 dates with a guy, yes, we even traveled together, and the guy disappeared. i posted a thread on this yesterday, but if you see, the guy didn't initiate any physical contact, meaning we only had handshakes, and still, since i had feelings for him, i put up with it and went on dates with him... and now the guy is not contacting me. i have no idea why. do you have a clue?? but at least in your situation the girl told you straight up instead of just vanishing like my guy. you know where you stand and can move on. well, though i'm not a guy, but somehow i hear you.... dating is not easy!
Author WWDDFD Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 and now the guy is not contacting me. i have no idea why. do you have a clue?? idk. I'm not a normal guy I have no clue what anyone thinks in this world. Just once in my life I'd like someone to have some feelings for me. Just once, is that too much to ask?
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