pickles1 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Broke up 1.5 months ago. We did LC, i even visited him. I decided to go NC 3 days ago. He has a rebound relationship brewing... I told him I need space. He just texted me the following, and i did not respond to any ...yet? (Should I?) In the past, it has gotten me no where.. "Can I tell you something?" "Okay well I'll just say it. I feel like you hate me, and i feel really weird being completely cut out of your life and at least tell me to **** off and stop texting you...i'm lost..." "I guess what hurts most if that you completely ignore me...please just say something...I don't care what it is..." "Jesus, for the sake of what we were say something..." "Okay I get it. Good luck with your life, I know you'll do really well for yourself...I'm sorry I wasn't what you needed. I hope one day you find someone who makes you truly happy, you deserve it. I won't keep harassing you, and I'm sorry I have been over the past few days. I will always love you, and I will always hate that we didn't work out the way I wanted us to..I'm sorry Jess, for everything." Help me please Responding could just let him know I still am weak. And responding could keep him from getting to that pt. where he could realize his mistake! But if I don't, he may resent me for it! Oh great..here's another one just now sent: "One last thing, it's not your fault that we ended. I should have been able to work past your insecurities, and I didn't." Uhhh... before, he told me we didn't work out because I had too many problems with myself. More texts... "Okay cool, now i realize i sound stupid" "You're mean as **** ___my first and last name ___" (that's odd). help?
O_O Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I don't know if you ended it, or if he did, but it does sound like he did if he was telling you it was due to your insecurities. If he did dump you then it's pretty safe to say that this isn't about missing you, it's about being upset to suddenly discover that you're not under his power in the way he thought you'd be. It's important that you hold strong, because he needs to know that you're serious about what you said and that you are no longer going to subjugate your needs to his. Don't worry about him resenting you, because even if he does it'll be the result of his own immature inability to handle your decision. He's actually being kind of insecure himself, so it makes me wonder if he wasn't projecting a little when he blamed your breakup on your insecurities... But no, it's not mean to set boundaries and stick with them, as long as you were clear and straightforward when you set the boundaries. It sounds like you were, so you should feel no blame for his current behavior and no guilt about doing what is best for you in this situation.
Author pickles1 Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 Wow...you read my situation like a book. Okay, well that's what I was thinking, to let him just suffer thru me not communicating back. Other people have been telling me to ask him what he wants...or to tell him AGAIN to leave me alone. But I already did in the nicest way possible, and he told me he understood that I need space and he would respect that...Which obviously did not end up happening. My other problem is that he is going away for a month in 3 weeks to study abroad, and by the time he gets back I will be moving away to professional school. We are long distance right now (only since the break up), and I know that the distance might hinder us more when he goes abroad (at least, that's what he's mentioned to me previously). The situation is messy, and he has a rebound relationship brewing off to the side that he knows that I know little about. Ugh!
batsheba Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 OMG he sounded like my most recent ex. that i had problems with myself and not him. and the part where he was wishing you would find someone who will truly make you happy. the exact exact message i recently got. the only difference you and me have, i have been on strict NC for almost 3 months now. go NC for yourself. or else these confusion will never end. just let him know that you no longer want any communication with him UNLESS it is to reconcile with you. so that would put him in his place and so it will put you in yours. while NC do not expect any contact from him or do not contact him too. the goal is for both of you to heal, whatever the reason there is for the break up. it worked for me, and i believe it worked for my ex too because he is wishing me well now, unheard of if you ask him 2 months ago.
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