He's seeing someone new, so why does he keep texting?

[bsweet00]

Hi guys, I'm hoping I get some advice in this situation, all is appreciated.

 

Me and my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years broke up in January. We had agreed that we just needed a break from each other, to value each other and give us space to fix our personal issues. At first we were NC for about two weeks, but then we started talking again, hanging out, still spending the night with each other. He would still tell me I love you/I miss you/I still want to be with you. He would still talk about a future together. We would still act like we were together, we just weren't official.

 

Then about two months ago, things changed when I suddenly found out he was starting to talk to another girl he had just met at a bar while out with his friends. He has absolutely no history with this girl. I confronted him and he denied it at first, but then admitted to kissing her. He said she was nice, and they were becoming good friends. I was really hurt by this and felt betrayed. How could he do that after all the things he'd said to me?

 

Since then he decided to completely cut communication with me to a minimum. But every few weeks he would text me "just to say hi" and I would reply because I still cared. Then one day I told him that I thought texting me was pointless, since it wasn't going to change anything that he was doing. He wasn't going to take me back. I knew he was seeing that girl, spending a great deal of time with her, and even spending nights with her.

 

All the times I've talked to him over texts, it's been because he's initiated it. I don't want to talk to him because it hurts, I need to heal and deal with the fact that he no longer wants to be with me. But then why does he keep texting?

 

He texted me last week saying he was sorry if I thought his feelings changed too quickly, and that he was sorry if I thought he lied to me about how he felt. He said he was sorry if I thought he used our 'break' to see other people, and that he didn't plan for that to happen. He then said he had been thinking a lot about me lately, and missed a lot of things about me...but he thinks he needs to see where this is going to lead with this new girl. That either he'll be happy with her, or she'll help him realize what he really wants.

 

I didn't reply to his text because it makes no difference. In my head it's all said and done, but my heart can't move on. I feel angry at times because I can't wrap my head around how he could just move on so quickly. And I honestly, truly miss him.

 

I deleted him off Facebook, but I find him now trying to make contact with my friends or my family. Sending them invitations to games, etc. Asking how they're doing and all that.

 

The last text I received from him was today, telling me that since I hadn't replied to any of his texts, that he decided he's going to leave me alone, and not call or text anymore. But that he wanted me to know that my new Facebook profile picture was beautiful.

 

So what I'm asking is this:

 

Since he's already decided to 'try and have something' with this other girl, he doesn't want me in his life, WHY DOES HE KEEP TEXTING ME THESE THINGS? GIVING ME COMPLIMENTS? TRYING TO SOMEWHAT KEEP CONTACT WITH MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY? TELLING ME HE'S BEEN RECENTLY THINKING A LOT ABOUT ME?

 

Does that mean he wants me back? Please someone help me understand....:(

[2sunny]

it's not that he wants you back - because IF he did - he would have you back.

 

he keeps you around because you allow it... it feeds his ego... you are his back up plan in case the new gal doesn't work out... then he can get the sex from you. but you aren't his priority... he's paying attention now to someone new.

 

block him... and don't respond even if he runs into you in the street.

 

respect yourself... since he obviously isn't going to.

[TearyEyedPride]

Ugh! you have on those exes who likes to play mindgames... Please just block his number. Seriously, the texts are driving you crazy, and in order to heal and let him know that you won't settle for being on hold while he "explores others".

[bsweet00]

Thanks, guys for the replies. I've been trying to be strong and get in the mindset of believing that this is done. Trying to accept the fact that we're not gonna get back together. It's just that there's still a small part of me that thinks he might realize his mistake. That he might come to his senses... his new relationship just moved so fast...I don't know what to think anymore.

 

Since I didn't reply to his last message this is what he sent me a few days ago:

 

"Since it seems to be what you want, I've decided to leave you alone. I won't text or call you anymore after this. Take care of yourself."

 

Is that him absolutely saying goodbye? Will I really never hear from him again? I wanted so bad to text back and say "Please don't leave me, I miss you so much, why can't we be together?" But I restrained and said nothing. Did I do the right thing?

 

I'm trying to use my energy to improve myself, build my Christian faith, work out, spend time with friends and family, read, I re-enrolled in school. I hope all these things have a positive outcome in my life. I just wish I could get over him as quickly as he did with me....

[Karala]

Thanks, guys for the replies. I've been trying to be strong and get in the mindset of believing that this is done. Trying to accept the fact that we're not gonna get back together. It's just that there's still a small part of me that thinks he might realize his mistake. That he might come to his senses... his new relationship just moved so fast...I don't know what to think anymore.

 

Since I didn't reply to his last message this is what he sent me a few days ago:

 

"Since it seems to be what you want, I've decided to leave you alone. I won't text or call you anymore after this. Take care of yourself."

 

Is that him absolutely saying goodbye? Will I really never hear from him again? I wanted so bad to text back and say "Please don't leave me, I miss you so much, why can't we be together?" But I restrained and said nothing. Did I do the right thing?

 

YES you did!! Please congratulate yourself!

 

I'm trying to use my energy to improve myself, build my Christian faith, work out, spend time with friends and family, read, I re-enrolled in school. I hope all these things have a positive outcome in my life. I just wish I could get over him as quickly as he did with me....

 

You have a great attitude, just keep it going.