krz12 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 He might be trying to remember something about you for your next conversation.
NicoleM Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I know guys like weighing their options ( so do girls like someone said) Think of it like this guy goes out on date with girl number 1 clicked but maybe didn't feel it. Guy goes on date with girl number 2 sorta felt it but isn't too sure. Weighs his options and thinks it through and eventually decides on which girl he thinks is the one ( not marrying lol) just dating and possibly going out on more dates. I am not saying that is what your guy is doing but it is quite possible.
youngskywalker Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Doesn't mean I don't have interest in the first person, it just means I have learned to not put all my eggs in one basket, otherwise it leads to disappointment. Don't fret his login, pretend you never even noticed. The only time to get worried is if he bails on date #2 or stops responding to calls/texts. That. The girl I'm with now for 7 months was lurking around the dating site I met her on for a couple of weeks. I didn't let it get to me and showed no weakness. If this guy likes you then you have nothing to worry about. It's going to take time (2-3-4 dates) so just chill out and welcome to the world of dating.
musemaj11 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 ok so he's multi-dating obviously not looking for anything serious. Just because someone is multi-dating, doesnt mean someone is not serious. The point of multi-dating is finding someone who is the best you can get. Even if he thinks you are his best find so far, doesnt mean he should shop around in case he finds someone even better. This is generally a method that women always use. You know lining up all the suitors and choose the best one out of them. Its just that these days many men have caught on, too. It is not so pretty to be on the receiving end, is it?
oaks Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Girls and guys who have online dated before does this phase you? You've had some great answers. If you get as far with dating this guy as asking things like "are you seeing anyone else?" or "where is this going?" then "are you still logging in to the dating site?" could be a good question but at the early stages there are lots of reasons why he might be.
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 i tried to edit mine as well, but the thread was moving fast. if i had to bet i would say he thinks he's more interested in someone else he was talking to online and trying to meet up with. no, that does not eliminate a second date, because if he's talking to others on the dating site there's no guarantee he will ever meet them. if he had phone numbers he wouldn't be talking to them on there. yeah, it's shady to say what he said and then for you to catch him basically lying about it. women do the same thing all the time, for what it's worth, that's where men got the idea from . if he doesn't try to back out of the second date, you have your answer. if he does you have your answer then too. so either way it'll become apparent soon enough. Hmm; yeah I guess he could be talking to someone on there because he doesn't have a phone number, good point.
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 The women I'm getting to know logged into the site every day after our first date and our second date. I'm sure she is still doing it as we approach our 3rd date. I guess it would only be a issue if she wasnt responding to my texts not calling me first some days not asking me out after work. yeah well it's different if a girl is logging in daily in my opinion. Girls get flooded with messages, she's probably reading those messages and either not responding or responding. If guys are logging in THEY are usually doing the initiating.
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 Apparently you didn't read the whole post. He ended the date early because he was tired at 10:30 PM, but then he was logged into online dating at 1 AM (3 hours after he supposedly went to bed) I hate to think for the worst but maybe he cut your date early because he actually had a second date lined up that night. As a multi-dater myself, I have done that, or cut a date short so I could meet up with a booty call (my needs had to be met). Doesn't mean I don't have interest in the first person, it just means I have learned to not put all my eggs in one basket, otherwise it leads to disappointment. Don't fret his login, pretend you never even noticed. The only time to get worried is if he bails on date #2 or stops responding to calls/texts. Thanks for your response; I guess it all comes down to the 2nd date.
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 I've done this before and gotta agree that at this stage, it probably doesn't mean anything. I get email alerts when I have new messages and typically check my phone/email before bed. If the message blurb looks interesting, I'll *almost always* log on to see the rest. Not actively cruising or planning to respond to anyone. Just satisfying curiosity. This guy could have been doing the same thing. Yeah, but you're a girl, with a guy doing this he is more than likely initiating interaction not just on the receiving end. Thanks for your reply.
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 Checking doesn't mean anything. When I met my ex, I was instantly into him, but I still read messages until I deleted my account... It's part curiousity, and it becomes a bit of an addiction to get mail! It's not realistic to expect that someone is going to forsake all others and close their account after one date with someone. What was your vibe on the date? I know it's not realistic to expect someone to close an account, in fact that would creep me out big time! At the same time, I guess as a woman I want to feel like there was something special enough about me to make him at least pause the "seeking of others" for one evening. I got a definite vibe of interest; almost too much interest because he was wanting to help me find a job in the town that he may move to as well.
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 I know guys like weighing their options ( so do girls like someone said) Think of it like this guy goes out on date with girl number 1 clicked but maybe didn't feel it. Guy goes on date with girl number 2 sorta felt it but isn't too sure. Weighs his options and thinks it through and eventually decides on which girl he thinks is the one ( not marrying lol) just dating and possibly going out on more dates. I am not saying that is what your guy is doing but it is quite possible. Yeah, this sort of thing is possible for sure. I am so different in that I don't compare one date to another and weigh options, if I'm not 100% feeling it I don't move forward regardless of how poor the other choices are in comparison. Maybe it's an age thing but because I'm in my early 30's I don't want to waste time with people who are not a great fit.
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 That. The girl I'm with now for 7 months was lurking around the dating site I met her on for a couple of weeks. I didn't let it get to me and showed no weakness. If this guy likes you then you have nothing to worry about. It's going to take time (2-3-4 dates) so just chill out and welcome to the world of dating. I know right? I find online dating to be much more anxiety inducing than regular dating. I went out with someone last month who was still logging on after date 3 and on, yet at the same time telling me he only dated one person at a time!
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 Just because someone is multi-dating, doesnt mean someone is not serious. The point of multi-dating is finding someone who is the best you can get. Even if he thinks you are his best find so far, doesnt mean he should shop around in case he finds someone even better. This is generally a method that women always use. You know lining up all the suitors and choose the best one out of them. Its just that these days many men have caught on, too. It is not so pretty to be on the receiving end, is it? Thing is this doesn't apply to me at all. I am very conscientious of not using men as an ego stroke. If I'm not feeling it 100% with someone I don't keep them in the holding pin.
Author GildedLily Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 Completely acceptable. He may have been responding to emails he received in the interim. Regardless one meeting does not suggest a monogamous relationship and i suggest you not end your search either. it is after all online dating Go out there, meet people and have fun! XO Thanks for your reply
LexiB Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Yeah, but you're a girl, with a guy doing this he is more than likely initiating interaction not just on the receiving end. Thanks for your reply. I see what you're saying but if this guy is really attractive and/or has a lot going for him on paper, he could be inundated w/ replies the same way women are. Either way, again, I wldnt read too much into it right now.
Recommended Posts