GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Girls and guys who have online dated before does this phase you? I met a guy and thought we hit it off (we did) last night. Conversation and attraction was there he even asked me out on a second date and planned it out right there and then. It was our first meet up from a dating site. The only slight pause I had was that he ended the date at 10:30 pm(instead of me) saying he was exhausted as he had woken up at 6am and had to fly to a different state and came back in time for our date. Today I went on the dating site to discover that he had logged in at 1:00 am (3 hours after our date); I can't lie this made me feel like he was not excited about me at all. What's your take on this? Note: I did not go on the site to browse others.
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 Bumping this: I spent time searching for any threads like this and there weren't, someone had to have had this happen to them; please help!
musemaj11 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 He is multi dating. Women online generally do that too.
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Going out on a date doesn't equate to removing ones profile from online dating and never logging in again. If you had a good time then run with that.. Would you rather have a guy that removes his profile and wants to date exclusively after a couple of hour dinner ? So.. in conclusion.. don't let it get to you.. does he know you are interested ?
thatone Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 he didn't have the balls to tell you the truth (he's not interested) so he lied about it.
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 ok so he's multi-dating obviously not looking for anything serious. Why right after our date; this seems to indicate not being that impressed?
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Why right after our date; this seems to indicate not being that impressed? I don't think so.. it was 3 hours later.. right before bedtime, that is a time someone might cruise the profiles..
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Doesn't it mean you were online at that time too ?
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 Going out on a date doesn't equate to removing ones profile from online dating and never logging in again. If you had a good time then run with that.. Would you rather have a guy that removes his profile and wants to date exclusively after a couple of hour dinner ? So.. in conclusion.. don't let it get to you.. does he know you are interested ? Thank you for your reply. I would definitely not want him to remove his profile yet of course not. He should know I'm interested since I agreed to seeing him again and he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek twice (in quick succession) He even offered to help me with a job search (call a contact of his) On the other hand he's tired etc yet still goes on right after our date, it makes me think he's not that into me..
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 Doesn't it mean you were online at that time too ? No, I went on the next day to alter something in my profile and saw his; was not really "online" but before anyone says he was just online looking at mine; I have a feeling that's not the case:eek:
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 he didn't have the balls to tell you the truth (he's not interested) so he lied about it. But he had the balls to plan out our second date and offer to help me with a job search? you didn't read my whole post did you?
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 GildedLily.. it could be that he isn't into you but it also might not mean that.. Why not shoot him an email and nail down the next date or talk about something going on in your life.. Then gauge his interest
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 There's no telling what his reasons are. Best case scenario: He could have been tired but not able to get to sleep because he was thinking about you. So he got up and logged on to look at your picture. Thank you for your reply; I don't have photos up; I do think he was probably looking at others or responding to others, oh well.
thatone Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 But he had the balls to plan out our second date and offer to help me with a job search? you didn't read my whole post did you? yeah, i did, but not being that interested doesn't eliminate a second date. you didn't say anything about the job search in the original post.
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 @Thatone- You're right I tried to edit it, but couldn't. You're saying that someone would ask out on a second date but not be interested? I don't come off as sexually easy at all and he's a very busy guy so why would he bother?
Jono85 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 u CANNOT draw ANY conclusions for this whatsoever. i'm talking to a girl that i'm feeling quite good about, only 1 date, but long phone convos too. point is i still browse my online dating site. doens't mean i don't eventually want a relationship with this girl, but after 1 date, it's still really early. he could be doing that as insurance in case YOU are the one who ends up bailing out eventually. or he could have went on to check on YOU. there are so many possibilities. it literally means nothing by itself.
thatone Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) @Thatone- You're right I tried to edit it, but couldn't. You're saying that someone would ask out on a second date but not be interested? I don't come off as sexually easy at all and he's a very busy guy so why would he bother? i tried to edit mine as well, but the thread was moving fast. if i had to bet i would say he thinks he's more interested in someone else he was talking to online and trying to meet up with. no, that does not eliminate a second date, because if he's talking to others on the dating site there's no guarantee he will ever meet them. if he had phone numbers he wouldn't be talking to them on there. yeah, it's shady to say what he said and then for you to catch him basically lying about it. women do the same thing all the time, for what it's worth, that's where men got the idea from . if he doesn't try to back out of the second date, you have your answer. if he does you have your answer then too. so either way it'll become apparent soon enough. Edited June 18, 2011 by thatone
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 u CANNOT draw ANY conclusions for this whatsoever. i'm talking to a girl that i'm feeling quite good about, only 1 date, but long phone convos too. point is i still browse my online dating site. doens't mean i don't eventually want a relationship with this girl, but after 1 date, it's still really early. he could be doing that as insurance in case YOU are the one who ends up bailing out eventually. or he could have went on to check on YOU. there are so many possibilities. it literally means nothing by itself. Thank you, I was waiting for someone to respond that has actually done this and their thought process. What you said makes sense; too early, too easy to draw any and all conclusions.
Author GildedLily Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 i tried to edit mine as well, but the thread was moving fast. if i had to bet i would say he thinks he's more interested in someone else he was talking to online and trying to meet up with. no, that does not eliminate a second date, because if he's talking to others on the dating site there's no guarantee he will ever meet them. if he had phone numbers he wouldn't be talking to them on there. yeah, it's shady to say what he said and then for you to catch him basically lying about it. women do the same thing all the time, for what it's worth, that's where men got the idea from . if he doesn't try to back out of the second date, you have your answer. if he does you have your answer then too. so either way it'll become apparent soon enough. that's funny because I hadn't even thought of it as lying but I guess it is.. Sometimes I am tired and just go online before bed though so I don't want to be too quick to judge.
PhillyDude Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 The women I'm getting to know logged into the site every day after our first date and our second date. I'm sure she is still doing it as we approach our 3rd date. I guess it would only be a issue if she wasnt responding to my texts not calling me first some days not asking me out after work.
TuffCookieX Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Going out on a date doesn't equate to removing ones profile from online dating and never logging in again. If you had a good time then run with that.. Would you rather have a guy that removes his profile and wants to date exclusively after a couple of hour dinner ? So.. in conclusion.. don't let it get to you.. does he know you are interested ? Apparently you didn't read the whole post. He ended the date early because he was tired at 10:30 PM, but then he was logged into online dating at 1 AM (3 hours after he supposedly went to bed) I hate to think for the worst but maybe he cut your date early because he actually had a second date lined up that night. As a multi-dater myself, I have done that, or cut a date short so I could meet up with a booty call (my needs had to be met). Doesn't mean I don't have interest in the first person, it just means I have learned to not put all my eggs in one basket, otherwise it leads to disappointment. Don't fret his login, pretend you never even noticed. The only time to get worried is if he bails on date #2 or stops responding to calls/texts.
Jono85 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Apparently you didn't read the whole post. He ended the date early because he was tired at 10:30 PM, but then he was logged into online dating at 1 AM (3 hours after he supposedly went to bed) I hate to think for the worst but maybe he cut your date early because he actually had a second date lined up that night. As a multi-dater myself, I have done that, or cut a date short so I could meet up with a booty call (my needs had to be met). Doesn't mean I don't have interest in the first person, it just means I have learned to not put all my eggs in one basket, otherwise it leads to disappointment. Don't fret his login, pretend you never even noticed. The only time to get worried is if he bails on date #2 or stops responding to calls/texts. tired doesn't always necessarily mean sleepy. sometimes i'm tired enough to not want to go out at night, but that doesn't mean i want to goto sleep. i might stay in and watch a movie. i'm too tired for social activity and would be very boring. don't jump to conclusions.
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) Apparently you didn't read the whole post. GFY... Of course I read what she wrote...did you read her replies back to me ? Edited June 18, 2011 by Art_Critic
LexiB Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) I've done this before and gotta agree that at this stage, it probably doesn't mean anything. I get email alerts when I have new messages and typically check my phone/email before bed. If the message blurb looks interesting, I'll *almost always* log on to see the rest. Not actively cruising or planning to respond to anyone. Just satisfying curiosity. This guy could have been doing the same thing. Edited June 18, 2011 by LexiB
D-Lish Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Checking doesn't mean anything. When I met my ex, I was instantly into him, but I still read messages until I deleted my account... It's part curiousity, and it becomes a bit of an addiction to get mail! It's not realistic to expect that someone is going to forsake all others and close their account after one date with someone. What was your vibe on the date?
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