love_myself Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Hi everyone, I need your advice. I messed up pretty badly... I met this really awesome guy not long ago. I was open with him that I was not looking for a relationship and was seeing other people. I told him that I would not be exclusive with him... But we went out couple times - he was very nice and different from the rest. We ended up having sex pretty quickly - 3rd date. And at night, as I was laying in his arms, I answered a call from another man. Yep, pretty stupid and immature. Afterwards, he got up, and took me home. He became very cold towards me - would not kiss me and would not show any signs of affection. I apologized to him for my behavior. I still feel bad about it. But I really like him. So 2 weeks after this incident, I actually ended other relationships (f...-buddies, f...-friends, or whatever). He still was acting like an ass, playing mind games, not coming when he said he would come, then texting how much he would like to "cuddle" with me. Anyways, I felt that I want to be with him -and we would meet but keep it more or less platonic. Last night I told him that I like him and that I wanted to have a relationship with him. He told me that he could not forget the feeling of use he experienced when I answered my phone right after having sex with him. He told me that he felt that all I wanted was "just a piece of meat," so he was not going to "try to make a nice dish for me." I was telling him how sorry I was. I also told him that I could not be his "friend" - I felt too much of attraction towards him. And I told him not to contact me any more, unless he was willing to be with me as more than just a friend. How stupid is that! Today, after wasting half of my day, not being able to stop thinking of him, I asked him if we could start all over and forget what happened. He ignored my text. So, what should I do? Should I try to pursue him? My common sense is screaming "NO" - but it hurts me so much - that he rejected me, when I was offering myself to him. I know I did wrong, and I know I hurt him... I feel horrible....
2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 My ex done a similar thing, gladly slept with me and then pulled the old "you treated me like a piece of meat" crap. Total mind games followed that when I was trying to tell her I did not and that I genuinely cared for her. I wouldn't waste your energy on someone you want to be with but who is glad to treat you like this. Shows how much he really thinks of you. 2011
Author love_myself Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 OMG, thank you so much for your perspective on this!!! I was beating myself up for the last 2 weeks... It did not even occur to me that someone could be so manipulative. Maybe it's really not only my fault. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Kilty Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Aye - and he also appears quite possesive as well. Unless you had made it clear it was an exclusive relationship at the time you had sex then that would be different. But after only 3 dates you hardly know someone and neither of you are each others property at that stage. Fair enough he was pissed off at the incident but you have told him what you want with him and he not interested. You have not done a lot wrong so dont beat yourself up over it. Dont contact him again or you will lose your self respect. The ball is in his court and if you dont hear from him then he is not worth it and nothing has really been lost at this time.
2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 OMG, thank you so much for your perspective on this!!! I was beating myself up for the last 2 weeks... It did not even occur to me that someone could be so manipulative. Maybe it's really not only my fault. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! No problemo! Just stick to your guns and keep him out of your life you will end up burnt out if you try and get him to change his mind or talk him round. I learned this the hard way with my ex, it's almost as if she wallowed in making my efforts seem like I was a loser and a weak person. I burnt myself out and never moved on quick enough so do not invest any more emotions or time in this from now on. 2011
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