aisle_seat Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Sorry if there's already a thread on this someplace. I get on here and read the boards every now and again and have become curious. My LDR has been going great but I do like to read about other peoples' experiences and even problems to learn more about what I can do to keep my LDR strong and as problem free as possible. I often wonder what keeps people apart. For those in college or even younger it's obvious, but if you're out of school, in your mid/late 20s or older and you are in an established, solid LDR with whom you believe to be your soul mate, what keeps you from joining them or them joining you? Speaking for myself, it's kids. I have a 12 year old daughter that I simply cannot leave here and move to the other side the country. Her mother and I split custody and I will not give up being a big part of her life. My sweetheart is in the same situation with her kids and ex husband. If it were not for my daughter, I would move in a heartbeat. I have a good job that I've been at for many years, and family and life long friends here. Call me crazy but except for my kid, I'd move out there to be with my girl without hesitation. She would do the same for me and plans to (not as many roots for her) when our kids are older. So...what's your story?
creighton0123 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Boyfriend accepted a work contract to teach in Japan for 13 months right before him and I met. We're currently 8 months through it with 5 months to go. No need to think about reuniting since he will be back for good in the city we both live in in November. Reuniting in November will make for some very happy times.
Author aisle_seat Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 Very happy times indeed, Creighton...congratulations! I've seen your posts but have been off for a while. Did you ever get the chance to see him in Japan? I know the tsunami really threw a wrench in your plans.
creighton0123 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Very happy times indeed, Creighton...congratulations! I've seen your posts but have been off for a while. Did you ever get the chance to see him in Japan? I know the tsunami really threw a wrench in your plans. Thank you. We changed travel plans. Instead of meeting in Tokyo, we both made use of a guest house offered to us for free in Taipei. Best. Vacation. Ever.
LittleTiger Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 We're both in our mid-40s and live on opposite sides of the world (literally as far apart as it's possible to be). We have just about everything against us at the moment. It's basically family and financial reasons that keep us apart. The UK and NZ government's aren't exactly on our side either. I can't move because I have property I can't sell and a business I can't sell. My parents are also elderly and my father is unwell. He can't move because he has a seven year old daughter in NZ and a career that he couldn't continue in the UK. He also has a father who is ill. It will be 2 years in September since we started our relationship and we see each other every few months for 3 to 5 weeks at a time. We desperately want to be together but it's not likely to happen for quite some time.
HeavenOrHell Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 We haven't spent enough time together yet for him to move countries to live closer to me, hopefully next year though if things continue to go well.
Whipple Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I was assigned to another city for the next step in my career, and I'm stuck there. He still has a couple more years of grad school left. He'll probably be moving hundreds of miles away to another city after he graduates. In an ideal world, I'd like to transfer to a nearby city after he graduates and relocates. But that's a couple of years down the line. One step at a time...
Author aisle_seat Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Little Tiger - I'm sorry to hear about the obstacles you face. At least you are fortunate in that you get to see each other several times a year for a month or so. I travel to see my girl every three months or so but with the kid situation and work schedules we usually only get 4 or 5 days together at a time. We have also been together about 2 years and though we have our plans to be together, as it is with you that will be more than a few years away. HorH - I'm hopeful for you that you two could be together next year. As with Little Tiger, I see inter-continental LDRs have their own special set of difficulties, not to mention the long distances and costs of travel. When I read about those circumstances it makes me grateful that my girl, while far away, is in the same country I am. Whipple - One step at a time is right. I hope you are able to relocate to be with him. I think it's great that you are willing to do that.
Audrina Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 29. What's standing in our way? We are in a new relationship and aren't ready to talk about moving in together, but I do plan on closing the distance with him. I need to work at my job until at least March before I have enough experience to count to continue in my field.
Cathster Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 For us, it is visa issues keeping us apart. He moved from the UK to the US for work, and until/unless we marry there is no way for us to be together again as his job is permanent. I've been able to see him every few months up til now, but my savings have now depleted too much to allow that now and it will probably only be twice or three times a year after my next trip.
Author aisle_seat Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 Audrina - Good for you being smart and thoughtful about making a big move and commitment. I hope you are able to move closer next year and build your relationship. Cathster - Do you have a plan to be together with your boyfriend? In other words, do you plan to move to the US which means you plan to get married or will he be returning to the UK at some known point in the future? Just curious.
SomeGirl Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 My Visa to the US I've been going through a permanent residence process since December of last year, basically now I am just waiting for the interview date which has taken a very long time. Once I get the interview date I need medical exams and some shots (all procedure stuff) It's been really tough on both of us. We miss each other so much. Just writing about it frustrates me. :/
Author aisle_seat Posted June 23, 2011 Author Posted June 23, 2011 I'm sorry it's been such an ordeal, Somegirl. But on the bright side, you're moving forward and the fruits of your labor, bitter now, will taste so sweet once you're together. Good luck!
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