SpinScratch Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 (edited) after me being single for almost five years, and being comfortable with just having random casual sex. I finally found a girl that I care about four months ago. we both talked about what we expected in a relationship and we really started to get along. After a month or so of dating she told me she loved me and I said the same, and I was staying overnight at her house almost everynight. she made it known to me from the start that she was in contact with an ex that she was with for five years on a daily basis, because he owed her a large sum of money and she did not want to break contact with him until it was repaid. he lives four hours away. I told her that there would be a point in our relationship that I would no longer be able to accept her talking to him and she said that she would agree to that when the time came. about 3 months into our relationship everything was perfect. we were in love, spent lots of time together, had sex daily, and I trusted her 100%. One day she told me that she had to visit her brother in her hometown because he was having knee surgery. I asked her if she was going to see her ex and she looked me in the eye and told me how serious she took our relationship and that she was not going to see him. a couple days later I waited for her to sleep and for the first time ever I went through her phone and found a text convo with her ex that she WAS going to see him. she was sending him pix and they planned on going to the club and possibly have sex and she told him she loved him. I confronted her and told her I did not want to be with her and left. she came and cried to me and begged forgiveness. she changed her phone number and cut contact with her ex. and never gave him an explaination for not coming to visit him. I know this for a fact because I have read the letters he writes to her house now. I made the decision to stay with her because we had only been together for three months and she was with him for five years and they had still been talking about getting back together when I met her. she told me that she wanted to go out to see him to see if she still had feelings for him and to get the money he owes her. now she seems to hide nothing. she gave me the lock code to her phone. and I never catch her in any lies, and trust me I have been trying to. but I still think about how good she can lie. but at the same time, I think that our relationship was still young, so maybe it wasn't that big of a deal and I should move past it..... I just need a third party perspective please. Edited June 17, 2011 by SpinScratch
Reoreyh Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Seems like you did exactly what you should have done, and her reaction is a positive one. I think if you play things slow and careful, your relationship will be fine.
Author SpinScratch Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 Seems like you did exactly what you should have done, and her reaction is a positive one. I think if you play things slow and careful, your relationship will be fine. yeah we talkedd for a couple days after i found the texts, and then I finally told her to just buy the bus ticket and go see him because I didn't want her anymore. this was all a month ago. but im having a hard time trusting her now. even though she hasn't given me another reason. I question myself everyday if I made the right decision to stay with her.
JasonRules Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I would never take back a woman who did this. To me it's betrayal, pure and simple. I would never be able to trust her again. I would have send her packing back to her ex. History will repeat itself in the future.
Author SpinScratch Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 I would never take back a woman who did this. To me it's betrayal, pure and simple. I would never be able to trust her again. I would have send her packing back to her ex. History will repeat itself in the future. Well I read your post when you posted it.... but i didnt want to beleive it. she just left me for this man today. she waited until i went to work and he picked her up and drove her to his house 5 hrs away. now Im alone. I should have listened to you.
Kendal Pierce Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Things have happened already, there is nothing more that you can do to remedy it. But, I know it is easier said than done, try to have a positive view of things. It is better that this girl left you for her ex as opposed to you being in constant fear that she will lie to you again and will be unfaithful to you every now and then. She has done it before, became unfaithful to you once, and there is a chance that she will do it again. That is reason why it is difficult to trust. It is painful I know as you authentically loved this person wholeheartedly but was not able to receive back that kind love you deserved from her. For now allow yourself to be in pain, so that you can heal yourself. But give yourself a time frame as to the length of time you can wallow in it, after that get up and move on. You can have and deserve someone better.
Author SpinScratch Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) It is better that this girl left you for her ex as opposed to you being in constant fear that she will lie to you again and will be unfaithful to you this is 100% percent correct. its exactly how i feel. tuesday when she left was one of the worst days of my life. now its friday and im starting to think positive. i miss her, and i still love her, she was my best friend. and i know she is going to regret turning her back on me. but ive come to terms that i dont need her. thank you for your reply Edited September 2, 2011 by SpinScratch
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