stace79 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Wow. I didn't ever think I would let any guy make me feel this way again, especially not my on/off boyfriend. We've been seeing each other casually since April 1, and at first he told me he didn't want to hang out casually, and that I should know by now if I want to be with him or not. Then, he backed off a bit saying we were just seeing each other and deciding if we want to get back together/work out our issues. I was okay with that. I don't need him to be my boyfriend right now, but I don't want to date other people. He said he wasn't pursuing anyone in any romantic capacity - he just wanted to be able to make friends (we are both relatively new to the area and still developing friend networks.) Things were very good for about a month. I had a great time with him. I could tell he was making effort in areas he did not before, like being more active & taking me out, helping clean up, helping with groceries, calling/texting more often, etc. Things I'd always complained about with him but never saw any improvement were now improved. Then, about four weeks or so into things, he got really active on Twitter, and particularly began chatting with one girl a lot. She is much younger, seems attractive, and is getting a divorce. She lives about 800 miles from us. It bothered me how much he was chatting with her, and then I saw that he added her as a friend on Facebook. I told him how insecure that made me feel, and he insisted it was just chatting about sports (he's in sports radio) and socializing online. He specifically told me that he would not ever be calling her or anything like that. Then, whenever we had relationship talks, he started telling me we are "just friends" but he "feels stronger for me than anyone else" and that he still loves me. We were sleeping together at this point. (Yes, I know, dumb move but I guess I thought I could trust him since he's never really been a user in the past.) Next straw was that I called him one night and we were both tired. He said he was just going to go to sleep early and turn off his phone, so I said good night. An hour or so later, I see a tweet to him from this girl he dated while we were apart... they'd talked on the phone after I hung up with him. I was livid that he basically lied to me about going to sleep early so that he could talk to her. He apologized about the deception, but again insisted he did nothing wrong b/c he's still a "single guy" and is free to do what he wants. The last straw so to speak is that I discovered he exchanged phone numbers with the girl on Twitter and has now had multiple phone chats with her. He claims he never told me that he wouldn't talk to her on the phone, but he did. He assured me that friendship was going to stay virtual (emails, social networking). This has just compounded over the past two weeks. I am so heart sick that it is affecting my health. I cannot sleep, my eating is erratic and I have missed some work. I "compete" with this chick on twitter, because she writes him all the time and I want to get the same amount of attention from him as her. He still said -even this morning - that he loves me and cares about me more than anyone else, but now it is that he is not ready to commit to anyone. I know what everyone will say - I just need to walk away. I did sign up for a dating service to meet new people, and thank God I was asked to go out after work with a few people tonight. I am almost to the point of cutting off every online communication with him, and even considering changing my phone numbers. I am beside myself. I vowed before I would never let a guy - especially not this SAME guy - make me feel this way again, but yet here I am. I'm so frustrated that he did a "bait-and-switch" with me - told me one thing when we started seeing each other and has slowly turned that around. I would never have started seeing him again if he'd said these things to me at the beginning of April. Now my feelings are stoked for him again, and it seems impossible to let him go and forget him, and to deal with him flirting with this girl on twitter or know he's chatting with her on the phone and stuff. I even made an emergency appointment with a counselor this week, but she was no help at all. I'm miserable right now, and I need to find some way to snap out of it! Please help.
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