Seeking_California Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 It is a difficult time in my life because I have to make very tough decisions, which I know will probably shape the rest of my life. It is a very lonely place to be because I know that ultimately I have to be brave enough to find the answers within myself. And it is hard to do so when life seems not to give you a break. Right now, I don't feel very comfortable to talk about my fears with any of the few people I have in my life. Partly because they are too wrapped up in their own messes, and partly because they can't help but being biased, since most of my decisions might affect them too. Or at least, they think it should. We always make every thing seems to be about ourselves. It is human. But I digress... I have so much in my chest, so much that I'd like to say but it seems very difficult to me to open up these days. I could write. Have a diary.. but I know that part of what I want is to be heard, too. I am not ashamed to recognise my humanity and the needs that come with it. I've always been the odd man out, and for many years, considering my up bringing, that was a source to pride to me. But that is past me, and now just like anyone I just want to belong. To find home. I want to be comfortable in my surroundings. I've been seeking my "California". "Oh it gets so lonely When you're walking And the streets are full of strangers" California, Joni Mitchell And you, have you found your California?
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