someonesomewhere Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I've been dating a guy for almost a year now. The other night, I said something really stupid and insensitive at dinner that hurt him (it was a stupid wisecrack about a very sensitive subject that I let fly out of thoughtlessness, not anger or malice). I've apologized and he's said he forgives me, but he's still reluctant to see me and I'm beginning to worry that he's blowing it out of proportion and might forget how strong our relationship has the potential to be (and has been before). I've tried to make it clear that I'll be there for him when he's ready to reconcile and while I think he has every right to be upset, I'm anxious that letting this open wound fester will just make things worse. Is there anything I can say or do to show him that, or do I have no choice but to wait it out? (How DO you tell someone, "I think you're blowing this out of proportion," anyway?)
April72 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Well my bf recently told me some stuff that I wish I had never heard... after telling him that I wished he would keep his past indiscretions to himself.... we went and told me about stuff anyway. He says he was upset and his mouth is his worst enemy. I know he's sorry and he feels bad.... and I want to forgive him but I seriously need a minute to clear my head and it's stressing him out. Try to reassure him about whatever it was. And leave him alone. Sometimes giving someone sometime keeps it from becoming a huge fight becuase you just keep saying things.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I've been dating a guy for almost a year now. The other night, I said something really stupid and insensitive at dinner that hurt him (it was a stupid wisecrack about a very sensitive subject that I let fly out of thoughtlessness, not anger or malice). Honestly... it depends on what you said. Remember you can't take back what you say or the hurt those words cause.
EasyHeart Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Whatever you do, don't tell him that he's blowing it out of proportion! All of us are entitled to our feelings and telling someone that you think he isn't is one of the most hurtful things you can say. Most likely he needs some time for his hurt feelings to heal. Stay in contact with him, but don't pressure him and don't rush him. Let him know that you acknowledge that what you said was hurtful and you are sorry that you said it. After awhile, he'll start to feel better and things can get back to normal. That can't happen while he's still hurting, though.
D-Lish Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 The worst thing you could do is to tell him he's over reacting- that would only serve to minimize his feelings. Apologize, tell him you were being insensitive, and then leave him be for a bit.
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