Ginger Beer Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Sorry to make a thread for this but... My friend just told me that the girl I'm seeing has been posting in a Facebook group (she's going on holiday soon with her friends) and left the dates she's going, twice, one with a wink on, four boys liked it. Would you be worried she's doing it to meet boys there? She is a massive flirt and an attention seeker. I don't know what to think but I feel a bit sick, he's telling me she's a slut and I should get rid of her.
Ms. Joolie Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 What do you mean "the girl I'm seeing?" Is she not your girlfriend?
BetheButterfly Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 What do you mean "the girl I'm seeing?" Is she not your girlfriend? Yeah, what does "seeing" mean? More information is needed before giving any advice.
oldguy Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Sorry to make a thread for this but... My friend just told me that the girl I'm seeing has been posting in a Facebook group (she's going on holiday soon with her friends) and left the dates she's going, twice, one with a wink on, four boys liked it. Would you be worried she's doing it to meet boys there? She is a massive flirt and an attention seeker. I don't know what to think but I feel a bit sick, he's telling me she's a slut and I should get rid of her. Oh ya, sounds like a great friend you've got there, what is he; 18?. The relationship is between you and her, talk to her. I might consider what your friend told you if not for him telling you she's a slut & to dump her. Sounds more like he's interested,
Author Ginger Beer Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 Well, she talks like we are but it is more like seeing, I basically went NC, then she kept texting me to reconcile with me and things were going good but if I'm honest it feels like I'm getting played. I'm not sure if she considers us as 'together'.
Author Ginger Beer Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 Oh ya, sounds like a great friend you've got there, what is he; 18?. The relationship is between you and her, talk to her. I might consider what your friend told you if not for him telling you she's a slut & to dump her. Sounds more like he's interested, I don't use FB, he told me this earlier. You telling me friends don't speak to each other about relationships?
smudge21 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Relationships rely on trust, and it sounds like you don't trust this girl if something on FB and what one person tells you can make you doubt her. Talk to her, otherwise this will well up inside and start destroying you right up until you can never leave her alone for a second without thinking that something is going on. She may be a total slut and love sleeping around, or she may just be someone who loves attention from everyone (not just men) but deep down remains loyal and honest to the one she's in love with. You need to find out which it is, and soon.
Author Ginger Beer Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 Relationships rely on trust, and it sounds like you don't trust this girl if something on FB and what one person tells you can make you doubt her. Talk to her, otherwise this will well up inside and start destroying you right up until you can never leave her alone for a second without thinking that something is going on. She may be a total slut and love sleeping around, or she may just be someone who loves attention from everyone (not just men) but deep down remains loyal and honest to the one she's in love with. You need to find out which it is, and soon. Smudge mate, I doubted her anyway, stuff like this just makes me think I'm wasting my time, but I don't know if this incident itself is anything I should be bothered about?
BetheButterfly Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Well, she talks like we are but it is more like seeing, I basically went NC, then she kept texting me to reconcile with me and things were going good but if I'm honest it feels like I'm getting played. I'm not sure if she considers us as 'together'. I think you should ask her out to eat with you or out for a walk or some activity where you can talk, and then ask her about what are her goals in life and see if she is interested in being with you or if she has other things she wants to do.
Ms. Joolie Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Yes, you need to talk with her. Tell her you are not seeing anyone else and want to only see her. Get her feelings/thoughts/reactions on that. Find out where she is on being exclusive and having a relationship with you. Get clear on your relationship status with her first before trying to judge her for her interactions with other men. Find out who you are in her life: boyfriend or boy toy.
smudge21 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 If you already doubt her then I would say this relationship may not be all that great or even worth hanging on to... and I think you know that and may just be looking for people to agree with you. Basically you need to ask yourself can you handle being a friend with benefits with this girl or do you want to sort it out once and for all and see if there's anything more can come from it. If you really care for her, then FWB is out of the question.
Nexus One Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 (edited) If you're looking for a serious relationship, then don't let yourself get played by her. You said you went NC, but then gave her a second chance. I'm all about giving people second chances, but not third ones. Realize this, when someone is really into someone else, then they tread carefully in order not to break whatever is (potentially) blooming. This goes for both men and women. So if someone crosses a line, like cheating or kissing someone else, then they effectively stop treading carefully and show that they do not see the relationship as the most important thing in their lives. Seeking a relationship is part of one's search for happiness, if the person you like does things that make you unhappy and endanger the relationship, then that person is not an asset in attaining happiness for yourself, you both and the relationship. It's one thing for men to tread into your territory, it's another for a woman to invite them there. There are things that you as a man don't have to accept. Edited June 17, 2011 by Nexus One
oldguy Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I don't use FB, he told me this earlier. You telling me friends don't speak to each other about relationships? Having a friends back is one thing but ripping the girl you are seeing is another. What he did was... stupid. if you and her stay together your friend calling her a slut leaves him in an awkward place with you and her. He was fine right up to the point where he started telling you what kind of girl your gf is, in his opinion, & what YOU should do about it. He should have just said something like; this is what I heard, this is where I heard it, check it out & then you talk to her. This he said, she said, I saw on FB is a bunch of hs bs.
Recommended Posts