superchiefs Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 So my fiance broke up with me 2 months ago. We stayed in contact for the first few weeks and I believe that because she was filled with guilt, she began verbally attacking me. These verbal attacks kept reopening my emotional wounds. She also kept whining to me, telling me about how lonely she was night and how she always cried. Finally, after putting up with this for about 6 weeks, I asked her why she was telling me this and that she was the one that chose to be alone, there were plenty of people she could be going out with instead of sitting at home by herself. She apologized to me, told me it wouldnt happen again, and I havent talked to her since. I have been feeling pretty good about the situation, however, I keep having sexual dreams about her and when I wake up from these dreams I sort of feel like those emotional wounds get reopened. Does this mean I still want her back? Is there a way I can deal with these dreams so that I dont feel bad when I wake up from them?
smudge21 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Your heart is still emotionally attached to this girl, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. It can take a while to get over someone. When you're sleeping all those memories and that emotionally attachment get dumped into your dreams. She's still very much a part of you and therefore these dreams will continue. Those no easy fix. I would imagine she has similar dreams too. However, just because one dreams of something, doesn't mean we should react on it. You dream of jumping off a building, doesn't mean you actually want to jump off a building. You have to just accept that these memories and dreams will come and go until your head and heart have healed and you can fully move on. From what you're saying though, I don't think your ex is going to go quietly as it's clear she doubts her decision.
geegirl Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Your dreams are just an indication that your mind is on her. Your emotions, thoughts and attachment is still very strong for her since your break up is still fresh. Nothing more. Don't read into your dreams. I had a dream two nights ago that I was naked sitting on a bus going to school and everyone was asking me where my clothes were. It doesn't mean I want to sit on a bus naked. Ugh, frightful! I know how you feel when you wake up. It almost feels like it does reopen the wound. I used to feel drained and utterly sad. In some way, it was the closest I could get to him and then it was gone. It was just a dream. When you wake up in the morning, just take a moment and tell yourself that it's just a dream. Don't lay there and try to remember it, pick at the details, play visuals in your head or replay it. Get out of bed quickly, and get moving. Get going and start focusing on the day ahead. Fill your mind with what you're going to wear, what to eat, what you have planned for school/work, etc.
radiodarcy Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Your dreams are just an indication that your mind is on her. Your emotions, thoughts and attachment is still very strong for her since your break up is still fresh. Nothing more. Don't read into your dreams. I had a dream two nights ago that I was naked sitting on a bus going to school and everyone was asking me where my clothes were. It doesn't mean I want to sit on a bus naked. Ugh, frightful! I know how you feel when you wake up. It almost feels like it does reopen the wound. I used to feel drained and utterly sad. In some way, it was the closest I could get to him and then it was gone. It was just a dream. When you wake up in the morning, just take a moment and tell yourself that it's just a dream. Don't lay there and try to remember it, pick at the details, play visuals in your head or replay it. Get out of bed quickly, and get moving. Get going and start focusing on the day ahead. Fill your mind with what you're going to wear, what to eat, what you have planned for school/work, etc. agreed. i am three months into NC and have started having dreams about my ex again. it irked me at first because i hadn't been dreaming abt him (and consequently sleeping much better) for about a month. but now i just sort of accept that fact that my ex is going to be on my mind in some form or another - - whether i'm awake or asleep. it makes sense though. he was my first love and an everyday fixture in my life for the past two and a half years. so it's going to take awhile to get him out of my system. in the mean time, like geegirl said, i don't bother to analyze the dreams or even dwell on them (half the time i forget them two seconds after i wake up), i just do my best to carry on, think about other things and keep moving. and you will too, just take it day by day.
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