CitizenErased Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Hi, I came across your site and thought that it might be a good place to get some advice. My name is Adam, I'm 22 and I live in Manchester, UK. My problem is somewhat pathetic, some would probably say that there is no problem at all, and I'm just being too sensitive, and those people would probably be correct. 3 months ago I was lucky enough to meet a young lady with whom I have fallen madly in love, I never really believed in love before meeting her and I have always been very pragmatic when it comes to relationships, however I have fallen for her big time and she feels the same way about me. We have spent almost every day and night together since meeting, probably a maximium of 8 days spent apart, she stays at my house most nights and we have developed a very intense friendship as well as a strong relationship. If there is such thing I do believe she might be "the one" for me, I honestly could not tell you a single thing I dislike about her, to me, she is perfect and I love her completely. However, my problem is this. Last night she left with her friend (female) for a 2 week holiday, I've known the holiday was coming for a while and I thought I would be able to cope, however that is not the case. There are no trust issues or anything like that as I know that she wouldn't cheat on me, but I am just not coping at all. I almost crashed my car last night after some very stupid upset driving and I did not sleep at all last night and was actually physically sick when I got out of bed this morning. I feel more down and depressed than I have ever felt in my entire life and have noticed myself behaving very strangely. E.g pacing the office a lot, fidgeting with things and also some odd physical ticks. I also have a buzzing feeling in the back of my head and in my chest and I feel nauseous all the time and cannot eat. Whilst I am fairly confident that this will pass, I would just like some reassurances as to how long I can expect myself to be like this, and also if there is anything I can do to help myself through this. From this end 2 weeks seems like forever and I don't think I can take 14 days of this without it escalating into something more serious.
mickleb Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I don't wish to sound sarcastic but I think you should see a doctor. What you are experiencing is not normal and sounds like some kind of anxiety/panic attack. Almost crashing your car is, obviously, extremely dangerous, too. If your girlfriend finds out how serious your response to her going away for a couple of weeks is, she might not be able to handle it, also. That would be a terrible shame, as your relationship sounds great but I wouldn't blame her if she felt you needed to really address this problem before you were completely ready for a relationship. I would suggest that the issue is a very deep-seated one which may require therapy. Good luck and take care. x P.S. Your username is only one space different to a very frequent-posting member on here, so a few people may get confused! Hopefully not.
creighton0123 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I don't wish to sound sarcastic but I think you should see a doctor. What you are experiencing is not normal and sounds like some kind of anxiety/panic attack. Almost crashing your car is, obviously, extremely dangerous, too. If your girlfriend finds out how serious your response to her going away for a couple of weeks is, she might not be able to handle it, also. That would be a terrible shame, as your relationship sounds great but I wouldn't blame her if she felt you needed to really address this problem before you were completely ready for a relationship. I would suggest that the issue is a very deep-seated one which may require therapy. Good luck and take care. x P.S. Your username is only one space different to a very frequent-posting member on here, so a few people may get confused! Hopefully not. Evidence that human beings are just like animals: we experience even irrational separation anxiety as well. It seems that while the conscious part of you is aware that she's only gone for another week and a five, the subconscious part of you is unable to reconcile that and is suffering loss akin to her just being "away" - manifesting in symptoms akin to grief of loss. Whether you're a sad panda, a puppy in the window howling after his owner died, or someone suffering severe anxiety as the brief departure of a romantic partner - separation anxiety can be fierce and difficult to manage (it is akin to social anxiety disorder). I would discuss this with a medical health professional and consider treatment of some form. If this happens because of her being away on a short holiday, I would hate to think what would happen to you if she ever had to go away for a longer duration and/or if your relationship were to not work out. Things might get better if you communicate for a few minutes (if possible). Her checking in or your making sure she arrived at her destination safely usually makes these feelings better. Anyone in the long distance relationship section (like myself) can tell you that the "I've arrived safely" call or email is like letting steam out of a release pressure valve.
Citizen Erased Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 On the upside, you have excellent taste is usernames/songs.
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