Lucky555 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I finally told my bf that he is emotionally distant. He never expresses anything to me. Physically he does one day a week. I barely hear from him during the week. I explained alll this to him and he says he has not thought about his emotions! What!! He said he was just going with things. 7 months and he doesn't say how he feels??? Am I being "jerked" around here? Then I'm stressed lately and I thought we would be with another this week. I text him and didn't get anything back all day..he then says he's busy. Very disrespectful. He knew I wouldn't be happy that we are not going to see eachother. He claimed he had work..ok what about dinner??? He just didn't want to see me at all claiming it was me who needs to concentrate on my stuff that is coming up..I agree but I need support right now and the one person whom I would want to be with was him. He totally shut me down. He basically asked what I wanted to differently. Like I feel as if he is stringing me along. I'm just tired of someone who is emotionally shut off, who doesn't contact me..I'm feeling emotionally drained everyday. It just feels off especially this week...not contacting, too busy for my text and too busy for me. It's so terrible. Am I overacting? Dont I deserve more after 7 months?
OriginalPenguin Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I don't think you are over reacting, 7 months is a long time to feel like you are disconnected emotionally. Especially if he is saying he doesn't want to see you. Have you tried sitting him down and laying this all out, the same way you did here? That might be your best bet, if he refuses or puts it off or beats around the bush I think you have your answer....
SingVoice Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Has he always been this way? Because the thing is...if he has...well...it's probably not going to change. Sorry...but that's kind of how it is. I think you need to be with someone who is more available...and even though you might love him...you still need to have your needs met. And he probably isn't going to meet them.
Author Lucky555 Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) He has not always been this way. He was more affectionate in the beginning. He planned dates, was interested in me. Now he barely wants conversation. He clearly is keeping me at an arms length away.the fact is he made plans when we were supposed to be together. He then says we can get together next week..but what if I am"busy" too. He just didn't seem like he even wanted to see me or missed me. However a couple weeks ago I told him he seemed distant. He invited me over and he just hugged me. But he likes the physical part as most men do. 2. I told him we need dates:nothing has happened and it just seems like a bunch of excuses. I ask for datess that don't cost money! I just want to bond! 3. I told him he was distant and he still isn't even trying. If I talk to him he will reply but the other day he took all day to answer me. So disrespectful. He has his phone on him always and checks it all the time. 4. He said he never thought about his emotions when I td him he is not verbaly expressive. Also he isn't contacting me. 5. I feel like he might be using me because there are no signs of progression. No signs of a future talk either. So he wants to see each other next week as if it was a definite thing like I will have time when he can't make any for me. I feel single most of the time. I really don't know any other way to "fix" this. I feel like he is stringing me along. So I'm going no contact. If he wants to call me or chat he can. I doubt he will because he doesn't love me obviously. It sucks to know that after 7 months he wants to continue but doesn't know how he feels?!!! Weird. Edited June 18, 2011 by Lucky555
HappyPanda Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 what this says about your "us" is that there isnt an "us" obviously you both have very different notions about what it takes to have a happy, loving relationship... especially since youve already brought it up and nothings changed... its only been 7 months (and on the reverse, its already been 7 months!) but at this point... its best to move on and find someone who you're more compatible with... because he IS out there
Author Lucky555 Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 what this says about your "us" is that there isnt an "us" obviously you both have very different notions about what it takes to have a happy, loving relationship... especially since youve already brought it up and nothings changed... its only been 7 months (and on the reverse, its already been 7 months!) but at this point... its best to move on and find someone who you're more compatible with... because he IS out there Ya I agree. I was just thinking today that I'm single most of the time except one day a week. :/ when I see this man. I feel like he is just stringing me along. I just don't know how else to make things work when it's not a "we" relationship. He doesn't care about what I have been saying. He always makes excuses. This man even told me he wanted me to move in with him once I got a good "job". Now I feel like what would be the benefit for me? I think part of me has been scared to break it off. It's like when I feel like breaking it off he acts like he is willing to do anything....but like this last time I told him he is not expressive and he doesn't even try to open up. This is an "I" situation. He didn't even make any time this week for me because he didn't want to. Every time I leave his place I have been feeling used and I know the whole week I will be single because he won't be there to support me emotionally or even talk to me. Im putting this one on the back burner. He wants to see me next week and I know a chat about "us" needs to happen. I already can predict no fun date planned, he will make excuses again why we can't do anything. I don't see the fun or any bonding. He just wants sex it seems and then he makes sure I leave the next morning. It doesn't feel good. Thanks I know there is someone out there for me who can treat me better and Im looking for someone who wants a relationshi. Got to have a talk when I get to that point
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