brokenheart23 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 my wife and i have been married for 2 years, but we have been together for 8. we were high school sweet hearts. to make a long story short she cheated on me a 2nd time last year. but only this time it was sexual. it just killed me in side. i lost who i was my self worth dropped and it took about 5mo. to get the whole truth out of her .at first she made me feel like it was my fault. and when i finaly broke her down she tells me shes was tired of me but that when i left she realize how much she loved me. we just had a baby girl. and it she is mine. were still together but im still having trouble dealing with it. i feel like i should have an affair to hurt her the way she hurt me. the real kicker is we were each others first and now we will never be each others last. what should i do?
Damia Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 If you are serious about your marriage get some counseling together .You will soon find out if your wife is willing to put in the hard work involved to fix things. Having an affair may make you feel better in the short term but will NOT help in the long run
Bryanp Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 You have been married 2 years and she has engaged in two separate affairs of which she tells you only one was physical. She tells you she was bored with you. She is pregnant and not sure who the father is. You leave and now she wants you. My guess is that her lover dumped her once he find out she was pregnant. It is time to move on whether the baby is yours or not. She has so little respect toward you that she has engaged in non protective sex with her lover and put your health at risk for STD's. You are not sure if you are the father and you have been married only two years. What is wrong with this picture? Her actions indicate that she does not respect you at all. If you do not respect yourself then who will?
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 my wife and i have been married for 2 years, but we have been together for 8. we were high school sweet hearts. to make a long story short she cheated on me a 2nd time last year. but only this time it was sexual. it just killed me in side. i lost who i was my self worth dropped and it took about 5mo. to get the whole truth out of her .at first she made me feel like it was my fault. and when i finaly broke her down she tells me shes was tired of me but that when i left she realize how much she loved me. we just had a baby girl. and it she is mine. were still together but im still having trouble dealing with it. i feel like i should have an affair to hurt her the way she hurt me. the real kicker is we were each others first and now we will never be each others last. what should i do? Cheating to get her back won't really make you feel better. Actually it will make you feel worse. Just dump her. 2 affairs in 2 years is ridiculous. Also... dragging out the confession for 5 months shows a lack of commitment to honesty. If you don't leave now you will regret it the rest of your life. Oh... and paternity test that kid!
pickles4me Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Cheating on her back isn't neccesarily a bad idea, as long as it's with someone attractive (this is relevant, as the #1 thing that happens after cheating is a severe ego bruising- you need to still feel attractive). After that, the healing process through counseling etc can proceed- but in my opinion, it's utterly preposterous to expect actual resolution when the scales aren't balanced- eg, I'm sure a wife would be far too eager to "repair things" in counseling after infidelity to get back to normal, but I'd be curious to the same were true with the tables turned. In a way, the payback route isnt just payback, it's a perfect litmus test; if the wife responds negatively and can't forgive those transgressions, it gives you your answer as to whether you should forgive hers.
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