robdrm32 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 So my g/f's ex cheated on her with another girl from another town. Recently this other girl got in contact with her to hang out, saying oh we should be friends and all that because they used to hate each-other given what happened etc. etc. So she was telling me how it went and mentioned how her ex commented on a convo they had on facebook, about them being fake. So i was like wait, your talking to him still? (he had contacted her when we first got together and i told her to cut the tie) So she said no it was something on the other girls page, frankly i don't know because i dont have a facebook so i have no way of knowing what was said etc. So granted maybe she isn't talking to him but she was saying her mom and dad are mad at her for going to hang out with this girl and frankly I am too now. I see it as she is still injecting herself into the drama of her past relationship, and while its over i feel like the only thing these 2 have to talk about is this dude. Her parents being upset pretty much adds to my view that its somewhat demeaning on our already rocky relationship to be involving herself in the drama of her past relationship. I feel her friendship with this girl is inappropriate due to the fact it is formed around her ex, and frankly just rousing drama that is still involving him. And yes i'm the jealous type but i noticed when i picked her up she was all done up in nice clothes and make-up which she went out in, which I would normally be ok with but i feel like for a while now and especially when i took her out for her birthday last week that she doesn't dress up when we go out. That is unrelated in a sense but I felt like calling her out on it. We aren't even at 2 months now this is the time when things should be at their best. How would you feel about this situation?
Author robdrm32 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 a little input would help, i feel like this is a breaking point for us but that may be me going overboard.
kooki Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I'm a woman, and I would give you this advice - yes, you have every right to ask your gf to stop talking to her ex! That is unacceptable in my opinion. Her ex is her ex for a reason and opening up any communication with him is detrimental to your relationship. Period. Get to the bottom of this if she has feelings for her ex and tell her that you are not comfortable with her communicating like this. As a woman I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes. This is not being possessive, it's just creating boundaries with what you're ok with.
kooki Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I also agree that your gf should not be talking to this girl either. This is making you uncomfortable, and if you sense somehow that the ex-b is involved, ask her point blank what is going on. If she can't give you an honest answer, then you have your answer.
Author robdrm32 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 While i agree with you, her defense is that she isn't talking to her ex, just this other girl that was involved in a cheating scenario. And her ex happened to comment on FB. But i do feel she crossed a boundary because after i made it clear not to be in contact with him she is indirectly becoming involved in a situation that involves him.
Author robdrm32 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 I also agree that your gf should not be talking to this girl either. This is making you uncomfortable, and if you sense somehow that the ex-b is involved, ask her point blank what is going on. If she can't give you an honest answer, then you have your answer. Well in my heart of hearts i trust her, but what do you mean i have my answer? because i did ask her why she went out with this girl and all i got is "i don't know"
oaks Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Dating stories involving Facebook always seem to have drama. Unless you're ready to walk away then you should explain why this situation makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps referring to how it's similar to the discomfort you would feel if she was directly talking to her ex (and similar to crossing a boundary you've already laid down), and what could change to make you feel less uncomfortable. She'll either accommodate your wishes or she won't.
Author robdrm32 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 Dating stories involving Facebook always seem to have drama. Unless you're ready to walk away then you should explain why this situation makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps referring to how it's similar to the discomfort you would feel if she was directly talking to her ex (and similar to crossing a boundary you've already laid down), and what could change to make you feel less uncomfortable. She'll either accommodate your wishes or she won't. Her going out with the girl in the first place is what irked me, the facebook thing just made me realize that its just drama thats involving her ex. I feel like this is grounds for me to walk away because we've been having other problems. The thing is i care alot about her and i've attributed the other problems to her being inexperienced, but this crosses a line.
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