bellaa Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 My boyfriend and i are in a fairly serious relationship of one year. At one stage we had split for two months but were involved as 'seeing eachother'. The problem with my relationship is my bf does not know how to be a boyfriend. Eg. He doesn't see saying goodnight or goodmorning as important, he doesn't message me when we're not spending time together and i basically feel as if he doesn't have the desire to be with me. When i attempt to leave him he doesn't let me go, but i've been feeling so down lately that i don't know if i can be with him anymore... What factors should drive me to stay with him? What would he have to do for me to be happy?
chuckles11 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 My boyfriend and i are in a fairly serious relationship of one year. At one stage we had split for two months but were involved as 'seeing eachother'. The problem with my relationship is my bf does not know how to be a boyfriend. Eg. He doesn't see saying goodnight or goodmorning as important, he doesn't message me when we're not spending time together and i basically feel as if he doesn't have the desire to be with me. When i attempt to leave him he doesn't let me go, but i've been feeling so down lately that i don't know if i can be with him anymore... What factors should drive me to stay with him? What would he have to do for me to be happy? I'm not sure I completely understand.. Is the problem that he doesn't text you good morning and good night, or that he neglects you in other ways? If it is the former, Let's pretend that this was nine years ago, and people didn't have a 24 hour leash for their SO(i.e. texting, cellphones), would you be happy with the relationship? If you need someone to be in constant contact with you, you should probably just break up with him. He seems like he doesn't get it.
Author bellaa Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 They were just examples. I feel as if unless i keep contact with him, he won't contact me. I feel as if i'm always the one asking to go out, im always the one initiating conversations, it just makes me feel as if he doesn't want to put in effort. 9 years ago i would say i would be dissatisfied because he doesn't put that little bit of effort in. He doesn't show much interest in me , but then claims he wants to marry me. Im very confused! I don't want constant contact, but i want the bare minimum which he doesn't even bother for. If he plans on living with me, how is he ever going to get used to always having me around if were only used to seeing eachother few times a week?
Feelsgoodman Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 My boyfriend and i are in a fairly serious relationship of one year. At one stage we had split for two months but were involved as 'seeing eachother'. The problem with my relationship is my bf does not know how to be a boyfriend. Eg. He doesn't see saying goodnight or goodmorning as important, he doesn't message me when we're not spending time together and i basically feel as if he doesn't have the desire to be with me. When i attempt to leave him he doesn't let me go, but i've been feeling so down lately that i don't know if i can be with him anymore... What factors should drive me to stay with him? What would he have to do for me to be happy? Men and women see things differently. Women love silly, pointless gestures like texting good morning and good night; men see them as annoying and a waste of time. You see him as not caring enough; he sees you as needy.
Author bellaa Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 But if i don't message or call all day, then he calls me a stranger and thinks i don't love him?
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