any chance for the future?

[adam14]

Hi guys I'm new to this forum, thought I would share my story. I was with my ex girlfriend for 5months, she ended things 4 weeks ago saying she got into relationship to soon after her ex and needed to be single. I went to school with her and college and now we work together, she was going through a bad break up with her ex of 2 years, we got close as i was talking to her as a friend about her ex, after 2-3 weeks of talking a lots and constant tex ting quite a few of our work mates told me she liked me, I felt the same so we went on a few dates and everything just felt so good, I always was a little bit wary that she had just come out of 2 year relationship so didn't want to be a rebound but all her mates kept telling to ask her to be my girlfriend because that's what she wanted so I did. Every so often her ex would ring her telling her he made a mistake and he wanted her back, but she would say no she's moved on and was with me. After about 4 months of being together she started to change she was so unhappy with her appearance, just everything was getting her down and would push me away and started getting moody and just took everything out on me, she never wanted to see me because she felt so rubbish about her self she just wanted to stay inside alone, we didn't sleep together for a month before we broke up because she just felt so low all the time. She said she felt sad about her ex and what he did to her, she always said to me in our relationship her guard was still up after her ex and I knew she was insecure about herself as her ex had knocked all her confidence, but I figured as time went by things would be easier for her. We had a holiday booked with a group of friends before we got together so agreed that the holiday would be good for us to get back on track, the holiday arrived and after 2 days she was acting distant with me and just wasent herself, so we had a talk and she said she feels she got into relationship to soon and we should have a break to see if she missed me she was really upset and said I wasent a rebound just she couldn't put me through this. I was abit gutted and knowing we still had 2 weeks of holiday left I couldn't give her space or nothing, the 1st week was fine we got on well and wasent awkward at all, the 2nd week I said to her I was finding it tough as it seems like a waste of holiday as we could of been working on getting us back on track, with that she got all angry and said she wants to be single, after that it was the most awkward week of my life we hardly spoke and didn't want to be around each other. When we arrived back after the holiday we didn't have any contact with each other for a week and she had told friends at work that she wants to be single and just wants to be friends,said how the spark between us had gone said I'm a great guy and a awesome boyfriend. when I returned to work she was there and I ignored her, she texted me later that day saying was I going to always be like this with her for ever and we kind of had a heart to heart over text she said she was sorry for doing this to me and how she feels bad for it all. I said I understood and it was just bad timing. Since then we have worked together and things have been fine she seems happy and chatty towards me. She's been out clubbing out with her mates and just seems like she's forgotten about me, and not missing me. I'm going to get on with my life and have left the door open for the future. I just can't see her changing her mind. Not sure what else I can do I miss her so much

[WhisperinnWinds]

My advice for anyone who breaks up is to have a period of no contact until your feelings have started to evaporate. She doesn't want you. For whatever reason, months into your relationship, suddenly now she's decided she doesn't want to be in a relationship and she wants to live the single life, despite how 'great' you apparently are.

 

Two years is a long relationship. Clearly her ex was the one who dumped her? I want to say that people shouldn't just automatically fear someone coming out of a long-term relationship. If your interest is the one who ended it, often they did most of their mourning for the relationship while it was still going on - so they usually bounce back much faster than the person who is broken up with. Keep that in mind in the future.

 

Continue living your life. Be cordial to her at work, but that's all. Develop your interests. Make new friends. Wish her well, but move on from her. It's ok to entertain the notion that someday in the future things could be different, but do not plan for it. If it happens, great! But make no strides toward it - often you'll just end up the lost puppy chasing a dream.