listen_to_me_please Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 I dated a girl. I loved the girl. The girl started to act weird, turns out the girl was sleeping with someone who wasn't me, the girl's best friend told me. i broke up with the girl, i cursed the girl out and fired the girl over-time the girl started to talk to me with disrespect, i ended all ties and went NC. I deleted girl from facebook, threw away all photos, etc etc. Fast foward 2 and half years, the girl friend added me on FB I was curious so 2 months later I accepeted then I called the girl. We had one short conversation, it looks like she was checking up on me. I never called the girl back, then I deleted the girl from facebook again a few months later I've been NC about 3 years and 2 months. One contact in that time initiated by her. What happens now?
citrusdrop1688 Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Y should anything happen now? U want it to? It doesnt really seem like either of you are very interested in eachother.
Author listen_to_me_please Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) I suppose your right. Its quite odd though, I never wanted to loose that female and now I'm actually starting to realize its been over for a long time now. I still can't believe she was sleeping with someone else while I thought she was mine. Thats the thing I can't forgive. That event did something to me, I can't let that go.That event put up some sort of invisible wall whenever her memory crosses my mind. Edited June 18, 2011 by listen_to_me_please
Author listen_to_me_please Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) When this thing first started and I came to this site, I said something to the effect of "That female knew me better than I knew myself" and someone replied and said "That one line, you have to go NC for a long time" Why did it take me all these years to come to grips with it and why did it mess with my head all these years. Edited June 18, 2011 by listen_to_me_please
pd8mxq Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 do u want somehting to happen between you two though? 3 years is a long time and if the things that crosses your mind, i.e. she cheated on you....still cannot be forgotten. Then it will be hard for u tow to work because u will always have that scar.
Author listen_to_me_please Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 I would love to be with her again. I know for sure that is not going to happen. I guess she never wanted to stay with me, I only wish she would of had the courage to tell me, then maybe things would be different. I suppose thats how I'm looking at things these days.
iceweasel6 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I would love to be with her again. I know for sure that is not going to happen. I guess she never wanted to stay with me, I only wish she would of had the courage to tell me, then maybe things would be different. I suppose thats how I'm looking at things these days. May I ask why you want to be with her after she cheated on you with another person? What is your positive compelling reason to forgive her and invite her back into your life?
Author listen_to_me_please Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 (edited) I have no logical reason for wanting to be with her. I also have no logically reason as to why I still harbored feelings years after the fact. I also have no idea why I was hurt for so long. Words cannot explain it. Sure she was lovely and nice, but knowning what I know now, me maturing, I would never choose a person like that as mate, prehaps just a fawk buddy. I did enjoy having sex with her. If I think about it, naw I wouldn't be with her again. Not anything long term. I'm not even upset anymore now that I think about it. Infact that women cheated on all her boyfriends. I slept with her while she was with her first, she actually didn't like him, she slept with someone while with me, I suppose she actually didn't like me. I suppose thats her pattern. She was a good person, a little bit screwed up in her head but over-all decent. She never stole or beg. Just cheated and lied. I wish her the best but naw I don't believe I still have any feelings, we just shared something, what to call it I don't know. In the end I just wanted her back at all cost(s), that feeling lasted for years even after everything I went through, I have no idea why but it appears to be clearing up now. Soon I'll just remember her as someone I use to have sex with. I am not even sure why I was so bent out of shape about the relationship, I had so much going for me at the time. To answer your question, because something is wrong with my head and I'm not thinking correctly and lastly why would that female contact me on facebook 2.5 years later to tell me she has upcoming vacatio days and she'll contact me in the summer to finalize things so she could visit like we are friends and I respected her as a equal after what occured is beyond me. Edited June 22, 2011 by listen_to_me_please
iceweasel6 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 To answer your question, because something is wrong with my head and I'm not thinking correctly Well, at least you were able to identify that much. It's obvious you have the capacity to forgive. Not too many people in this world have that gift, and when I say real forgiveness, I mean what your capable of doing with your ex. Here's the part that I want you to pay attention to very carefully. And I mean very carefully. When it does happen, I want you to think of this post, this moment, this very second in time that your reading this post. I can't see the future, and I don't know you on a personal level, but your going to meet someone special. The lessons you learned from this experience has shaped who you are as a person and will be needed in your future relationship. Your capacity to forgive will not fall into the hands of someone who will throw it away, it will be returned in kind with a heart and a person that is equally able to forgive. You are worth more than the price of admission you have to pay to be with your ex, so don't waste your value on someone who doesn't know the worth of your spirit. Get out there and meet her, because she's waiting to meet you, she just doesn't know it yet. And yes, she could be that chick on the bus - just open you mouth and say hi.
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