his lack of a past is a bit of a turnoff

[udolipixie]

but what counts more as man-hating are your generalizations and your poor advice given to others, when you assume the men you talk about have the worst possible motives.

Men...it's more like man...one case..Most of my other posts are on concepts not advice to people...some of those concept threads do turn out with me giving advice

 

I didn't assume he had the worst possible motives.

 

What were these motives I assumed he had? ..........

 

I was suspicious and believed there was a chance he purposefully omitted the information because he was afraid of being judged by it. Him revealing it to her 6 months after was iffy to me...why not keep it to himself.. Him asking her would it have had an affect on her choosing to date him was just iffy to me. I didn't even assume he did it I was suspected. I stated possibility of him doing this not that he did.

 

As for motive of him engaging in a behavior I stated there was a possibility of him doing. The motive for that behavior would be that what he wanted mattered more than her getting what she didn't want. That motive was tied to the actions not him being male or a virgin.

 

To me that kind of behavior indicates untrustworthy because I can't trust you to be straightforward with certain material that I find needs to be known. Perhaps untrustworthy/not straightforward is what got you all upset? Did you even look at the manner in which I used it?

 

It can also mean you're self centered in the way that you knew something would/may affect my decision about you so you omitted it to get what you want. Thereby placing more importance over getting what you want over my preferences.

 

It's like stating people who intentionally play hard to get that behavior may also have some negative correlations and me pointing them out doesn't mean that the person had the worst possible motives.

 

 

The proof is in almost all of your posts, I don't even have to quote them. Anyone who cares can feel free to look at almost any of your posts.

They can feel free to look and perhaps they will be able to see me turning around a Woggle statement is me showing the ridiculousness in gender hate.

 

As for the context of my own posts they'll find I use it's not a gender thing it's a people thing quite frequently so where's the man hate there?

 

 

 

Yet that is what YOU did in this thread. Condemning the integrity of a guy you don't know, just because he was RIGHTFULLY reluctant to admit his virginity, something which is proven by you and the OP's insane response to his virginity.

1. Condemning the integrity of a guy I don't know

 

The post in which I "condemn" his integrity

About the update where you two had a discussion:

1. When discussing his inexperience. Did you ask him why he omitted mentioning it? Seems like from his question of would you have felt any different that like suggested before him waiting 6 months suggests he purposefully hid this. That he waited until after you emotional bonded to him so that your hormones would just brush this deception off.

* addition.. seems like is condemning thought that was just stating that's my impression and it can be correct or incorrect I had already stated I suspected he purposefully omitted this before telling her sex months later *

 

2. Do you know him well enough to get that he was simply a late bloomer and it's not a virgin by circumstance due to low self esteem, confidence issues, and social issues? I'm guessing his inexperience suggesting he has issues/problems is why you were turned off?

* addition- yep I am just awful to this man with this bit of advice *

 

3. Have you asked him if he went to prostitutes? Some people don't include oral or anal as virginity so he could have visited a prostitute and omitted that info. Apparently with his inexperience omission you can't truly trust him to be honest and straightforward with you.

 

* addition- this is fair apparently she can't trust him to be straightforward about sexual information like this.

 

Perhaps not being straightforward/trust makes you think not being it means so & so is a bad person.

 

To me and in this case it just means there are certain things I can't rely on you to tell me or be in my face about this matter.

 

Did I condemn him for his actions or inaction...nope.

 

More like telling her hey since he didn't feel the need to divulge virginity upfront he may also not have divulged prostitute visits...thought the context of what area to he is not trustworthy and straightforward in was clear...especially with me asking about his personality and her assertion of his character in the other blocks

yep I am just awful to this man with this bit of advice *

 

4. Do you have the patience and energy to teach and guide him sexually and about relationships. Is he willing to learn? Do you think you have enough knoweldge on how to have a happy and healthy relationship to instruct?

 

 

2. Insane response

Insane? That's your opinion. Other people regard things different and they have a right to.

 

Though I'm not sure how the OP's response was insane she was turned off a bit and was questioning why he was still a virgin in a is this too be too be true way?

 

Not sure how my response that it seems like he purposefully omitted something he knew may affect your decision about him indicates he's not straightforward is an insane response. It's a likely possibility...especially with all these threads telling men not to tell her, to omit it, and lie about it.

 

Better mindset to me would be the one I was promoting none of your business and it only matters that I'm STD free..kid free for some. but to each their own.

Edited September 27, 2011 by udolipixie

[ChessPieceFace]

Enough from the man-hating troll desperate for attention. Time to highlight a good post:

 

I've been with a virgin before. After the first few sessions he got over his nervousness and he was way better in bed than anyone else I had ever been with. I really don't understand why someone would judge a guy for being a virgin; he's obviously clean, he doesn't sleep around, he has no baggage, and he probably has some respect for women because he doesn't go around treating them like tissues for him to deposit his sperm into.

 

He's probably just either really picky (so it's flattering that he picked me), or really shy (which I don't think is a big deal, he just needs a bit of encouragement). If you like someone as a person, I really don't see why it's relevant that he never put his penis in another woman before?

 

Thank you Eeyore, wonderful post.

[Floridaman]

My posts haven't been ripped apart by posters.

 

If anything most of the comments on my posts I had to correct the and ask them where did they get that incorrect information from and that I never stated what they claimed I did.

 

Most posters either didn't agree right off the bat since they thought the self justification is well meaning.

 

Or they didn't even understand the point I was making and thought I was talking about honesty in general.....

Doll,

Can you summarize your points on virginity, etc., that you've been making?

Have read a lot of these posts in this thread but they're very long (like my posts:)).

A good summary of your reasons a guy shouldn't be afraid to tell a woman he's a virgin would be good.

Thanks.

[udolipixie]

Enough from the man-hating troll desperate for attention. Time to highlight a good post:

Troll? Nope.

 

Man hating? You continue to call me this with no actual proof.

 

You haven't even showed any how my advice not to do a specific type of intentional lying/omission has man hating in my posts in this thread.

 

Yes my turnarounds do not count because those are poking fun at Woggle, EP, and others hateful comments to show the ridiculous of gender hate and that everything can be easily reversed.

 

Quite amusing me telling you no one owes you sex you got men don't have sexual need and shows I'm a man hater.

 

Liked how you ignored the fact that you accused of me of lying when I did not.

 

Spin? That's you.

Lies? That's you.

Edited September 27, 2011 by udolipixie

[AHardDaysNight]

udolli, you are delusional. I suspect you have some sort of personality disorder.

 

You shouldn't be posting on a forum like this. You should be getting help for your mental issues.

[udolipixie]

It's a no.

 

It's a yes. You're the only one biased against reality with that

 

I've already stated why it's a yep but if you want to ignore reality here's why it's a yep:

You're only phrasing this to promote consciously lying to someone instead of telling the truth about something, which is really not even a big deal. Virginity is stereotyped by sl*ts.

1. I already told you were wrong in what I was promoting so right there either you weren't even reading or comprehending what you read.

 

2. I wasn't even promoting teelling the truth but stating that the mindset of intentional lying/omission is bad and giving the alternative mindset of it's no big deal.

 

Big difference between someone who doesn't see *insert whatever* as something he/she needs doesn't need to discuss vs someone with *insert whatever* who knows people may dislike it so he/she purposefully lies/omits about it so they can't be judged for it because they think it's unfair/petty/whatever.

 

Recall....actually you probably don't:

Big difference from a guy who just doesn't mention anal sex to a guy who knows there are girls who dislike anal sex so he purposefully omits/lies about it.

 

3. Not even a big deal.... if it's not a big deal then why intentionally lie/omit with the mindset that this may ruin my chances to get what I want? Because you know it may be a big deal to others and you don't want them to know this knowledge. Because you think that just because it's not a big deal to you it should be the same for others.

 

4. Virginity is stereotped by sluts...yeah and you were saying I was bias against reality

 

 

The person is omitting something that they know may affect a person's decision on about them in a way they do not want.

 

 

One thing for sure is you're biased against reality.

Nope that seems to be what you're doing now.

 

I haven't shown any bias against reality. I know people lie, omit, cheat, steal, murder. I was just discussing this specific type of intentional lying/omitting and it's self centered & self justification is all bs to the real point. That being getting what you want matters more than the person who can could possibly have a relationship with and showing getting what they don't want. That and there's an alternative I think is better.

[udolipixie]

udolli, you are delusional.

How am I delusional?

 

Where are my delusional posts?

 

I suspect you have some sort of personality disorder.

Why is that?

 

Any proof of what cause you to suspect this?

 

You shouldn't be posting on a forum like this. You should be getting help for your mental issues.

Show me my posts that implied I had mental issues.

[Queen Zenobia]

If no one minds, I'd like to make a suggestion: since the OP has already stated that her predicament is now over (thus making this thread no longer necessary) perhaps if people want to continue discussing other related issues, a new thread should be started.

[udolipixie]

So basically you rephrased your lie, here.

 

No rephrasing on my part. No lying on my part. Just telling you that you read what you wanted and not what was there.

What did I lie about?

 

I haven't rephrased anything. Just because you got the wrong idea that:

You're only phrasing this to promote consciously lying to someone instead of telling the truth about something, which is really not even a big deal. Virginity is stereotyped by sl*ts.

 

Not sure how that collides with the one user who thought I making good points that people should tell the truth at all times...guess people read what they want to read into it.

 

So you go me promoting consciously lying to someone rather than telling the truth someone else got me making points that people should tell the truth at all times.

 

 

You're confusing yourself within your own flawed argument. Give it up.

 

You're the only only confused.

 

As I already pointed out that you were wrong in what I was promoting.

 

No confusion on my part except how people are reading what they want instead of what's actually there because of their emotional reaction to it.

 

I stated what my argument was and that was a not telling/hiding because he knows it's dislike anal sex example was a close example.

 

Just because you got the wrong idea of what my argument was doesn't mean that I am confused.

 

- edited I inserted not after my logic is to....I've continuously put that I was inserting not in all my other posts

My logic is to not lie or adopt the mindset going into dating not telling/omitting girls this info because it might turn them off, ruin your chances, or scare them off.

 

I see another choice:

With this mindset of I only need to be STD free..kid free for some...it's healthier, less deceptive, and there's no purposeful omission because you want her decision to go your way.

 

So go about being STD free...kid free for some..have sex. If the topic comes up don't lie. If it doesn't come up there's no need to tell her later on because it's just about being STD free..kid free for some.

 

Not sure how from that one can't see the comparison to this and how it doesn't confuse or create a flaw in my argument:

Big difference from a guy who just doesn't mention anal sex to a guy who knows there are girls who dislike anal sex so he purposefully omits/lies about it.

 

Hmm sounds pretty close to the whole no business mindset vs I see it as a flaw others may dislike so I need to lie/omit it so I can't be judged on it mindset....that I've been repeating and repeating.

 

Because if women want to be sl*ts and lie to us men about how many d*cks they had in their twats, then why the hell should we tell them we're virgins.

 

So it's not about that virginity is not a big deal to you. It's about that women lie so you have no reason not to lie as well. Okay then.

 

Also when did I state men should tell them they were virgins?

Not sure what's unhealthy about suggesting guys to not have the mindset of I have something about me that others may not like and her knowing of it may ruin my chances, turn her off, or her her away so I'm justified in lying/omitting about it because I don't think this thing is a big deal. If she thinks it's a big deal she's wrong and it's for a trivial/shallow/stigma reason.

 

Only time telling them comes up is if she asks:

My logic is to not lie or adopt the mindset going into dating not telling/omitting girls this info because it might turn them off, ruin your chances, or scare them off.

 

I see another choice:

With this mindset of I only need to be STD free..kid free for some...it's healthier, less deceptive, and there's no purposeful omission because you want her decision to go your way.

 

So go about being STD free...kid free for some..have sex. If the topic comes up don't lie. If it doesn't come up there's no need to tell her later on because it's just about being STD free..kid free for some.

 

 

It is and as I expected you would "laugh it off" because it is a personal issue for you.

What's a personal issue for me? Virginity or sluts?

 

I haven't made any personal remarks to virginity or sluts....except the personal remarks about people I know who are virgins, don't want virgins, or had sex with virgins.

 

 

I agree with the others: You're a bitter misandrist troll.

 

Show me this misandry? My turnarounds on Woggle and EP do not count as they are me showing the ridiculousness in gender hate and how their statements can easily be reversed.

 

Show me this bitterness?

 

Quite amusing saying no one owes you sex equals me denying men have sexual needs so I'm a man hater.

 

Quite amusing saying that it's self centered & self justified to see something as a factor others may dislike so you intentionally lie/omit it so that your partner can't judge you on it because them knowing it may lead to a decision with you not getting what you want is misandry.

Edited September 27, 2011 by udolipixie

[udolipixie]

If no one minds, I'd like to make a suggestion: since the OP has already stated that her predicament is now over (thus making this thread no longer necessary) perhaps if people want to continue discussing other related issues, a new thread should be started.

 

Yeah I already apologized to the OP way before about responses to my concept taking most of the space.

 

I was going to ignore any posts about my concept since most just read what they want, don't understand, or think it's about honesty in general, lying/omitting in general until the whole man hater claims went about.

 

 

"For those making the claims*

For those that feel I am one make a thread about it with your proof otherwise in any other thread I'm accessed of being one I will ask you to show me proof.

 

My turnarounds on Woggle, EP do not count as that's me showing the ridiculousness in gender hate and how that hate can be reversed on them.

 

What also doesn't make me a man hater is what I am beginning to suspect are just hurt feelings because you have this paranoia/fear that I'm trying to keep male virgins from ever having sex because you don't like that I think it's self centered & self justification to purposefully lie/omit something because you feel it's a factor that may ruin your chances and you don't want to be judged on it and the alternative I think is better would be going in with no one business as long as I'm STD-free kid free for some.

[heartbaitdotcom]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. Everything has been great, at first he was somewhat shy and reserved but then he opened up and became more outgoing. Yesterday he revealed to me that I was his first girlfriend, first girl he ever kissed, first girl he did anything with. I’m really confused now. I mean what kind of guy doesn’t date at all until they’re 25? I mean he’s good looking, in shape, smart, funny, has his own place…he is a really good guy. Still though his inexperience is really giving me second thoughts. Am I wrong for feeling really turned off by this or thinking it’s a huge red flag?

 

I would definitely say it's strange and very red-flaggish. Is he religious? Or could he have homosexual tendencies? I find those are the two biggest reasons for inexperience. You may have some follow up questions like do you like women? It's human nature for men to want to spread their seed and it usually starts early. Whatever held him back may hold him back from making other major decisions in the future.