nothappyjan Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Why do guys always say things like you would look great if you......changed your hair, wore black, had this colour hair. Maybe im too sensitive but i dont go around saying things to imply a guy would look better if he changed his look. Its not like im ugly either or need styling advice. I just for once would like a guy to compliment me the way i am.
EasyHeart Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 For the same reason women say things like, "Ewww, you're not going out in public wearing that shirt, are you? Seriously, you're not, right?"
Author nothappyjan Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 i think it or try to subtely choose a different shirt but i never ever have ever told a guy they dont look good how they are.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 They're just saying that they personally would think you would look better if you did those things. It doesn't mean they don't already like the way you look. But I can see how it still sounds a bit 'off'. I guess it depends on how you go about saying it. Like if they said 'I'd love it if you did this with your hair', that seems like it'd sound fine to me.
oaks Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Just try to remember that we don't think these things are stupid until after we've said them.
vsmini Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 i think it or try to subtely choose a different shirt but i never ever have ever told a guy they dont look good how they are. I honestly think women are worse offenders at this sort of thing than men are...in my experience at least - and I'm a woman. Men say stupid things. Women say stupid things. We're all equally stupid and smart. Equation solved.
Ouroboros Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Why do guys always say things like you would look great if you......changed your hair, wore black, had this colour hair. Maybe im too sensitive but i dont go around saying things to imply a guy would look better if he changed his look. Its not like im ugly either or need styling advice. I just for once would like a guy to compliment me the way i am. I don't see many guys do this but I don't doubt it happens. Maybe the guys you are going for are too controlling.
ascendotum Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 If you are single, isn't it there some merit in taking onboard the advice of men as regards your appearance, given they are your target market. Guys generally dont give out advice like that to women unless they really feel she has potential to improve her sex appeal, but is currently short changing herself. with her regular look..imo. I just for once would like a guy to compliment me the way i am. You don't get this but you get styling advice...I'm reading between the lines here.
Andy_K Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 I fail to see anything wrong with this to be honest. There's nothing wrong with expressing opinions. It's hardly offensive. It's just being honest. It's not like they've said they think you're ugly. If someone is seriously offended that someone else thinks they'd look better with different colour hair, or different clothes, or anything else, then that's a reflection of their own insecurity. Being offended is a choice. Nobody wants to spend forever walking on eggshells for fear you'll find a way to be offended at something they say.
welikeincrowds Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Not every girl thinks the same way! Most do, but I distinctly recall dating at least one woman in recent memory who insisted that I tell her if I didn't like some aspect of whatever she was wearing. In my head I was thinking "Yeah, that can't backfire" but I told her I would be happy to. Still, I never once did. Relationship diplomacy, a difficult and rewarding game.
Author nothappyjan Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 It really cant be styling advice as i dont have problem getting a date. These are guys ive been dating for awhile saying this and its not male friends or female freinds. Thye think i look great. It's more things like- if my hairs down it would look good up and if my hair is up why not wear it down. Its like i cant ever win If i wear a dress why am i not wearing shorts like that other girl. Its just small annoying things that when added up. Maybe i just am too sensitive, i'll work on it
Ms. Joolie Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 I once told a friend she would look great as a platinum blonde. I thought her natural brown/blonde haircolor was boring. I thought her makeup was boring too but didn't say anything about that. She dressed ok. Overall she was a bit too bland. I had to offer some kind of outrageous advice to help her out. OP, have you considered your look may be bland looking and people can't help opening their mouths about it? I'm not trying to be mean. Just trying on a truth for size.
Ms. Joolie Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 All I'm saying is something is up if your boyfriends are always critiquing your style.
tigressA Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 What's the balance between compliments and criticism? Do you get significantly more of one than the other? If it's mostly compliments but a few criticisms here and there, I think you're being too sensitive. If it's the other way around, then perhaps a change to your look is in order. My BF shows a lot of appreciation for my look, but he also isn't afraid to tell me when he doesn't like something I wear, or how I wear my hair, and I like that. I like knowing what else I can do to please him visually. Better that than him not saying anything to me and then checking out/commenting on other girls he thinks look better than I do.
Ouroboros Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 It really cant be styling advice as i dont have problem getting a date. These are guys ive been dating for awhile saying this and its not male friends or female freinds. Thye think i look great. It's more things like- if my hairs down it would look good up and if my hair is up why not wear it down. Its like i cant ever win If i wear a dress why am i not wearing shorts like that other girl. Its just small annoying things that when added up. Maybe i just am too sensitive, i'll work on it They want a dolly to play with. Go buy them one.
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