Rockyb87 Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Earlier I posted a thread about sending my ex a letter. Got no response to what i should or shouldnt do. I make my own decisions but i would like another perspective on this. Long story short, i was with my ex for 10 months, not long i know but for me it was my longest relationship. Broke up around sept., about 9 months since we separated. Havent talked to her since feb. anyway i havent been myself lately, down mostly. Been going out, been with a few girls, hung out with friends but nothing seems to get my mind of her. Tried Nc, working out, going to school, joining a sports team, ran, but nothing seems to get my mind off this girl. Read somewhere that writing a letter to her and not sending it to her will help, but after reading what i wrote I felt that it does have meaning and that she should read it. Im not gonna lie I would want her to read it and by some miracle come back to me but by her choice. I'll post what i wrote in a few. This is my letter Dear XXXXXX, Im not gonna lie, for the past few months I've been sad and lonely because of the breakup between me and you. I dont know why I hold on for so long, my heart is saying" I still love you but my mind says let it go. My mind and heart are in a constant battle and my heart is winning. Did I truly love you? Yes I did and I believe I still do. But I dont want to be with you, you hurt me, not physically but internally. I know its not your fault, you were hurt once by another and I tried to convice you otherwise thats its ok. I was there for you, I did show you that you can love another, but there was a price to pay, not for you but for me. I paid by loving you and not realizing that by doing so I would lose you. I shouldve said " I rather be your friend and be there for you to help you get through you break up and if so when I knew when you were ready ask you out. But no my heart wanted more. This what the price I paid. A broken heart. I dont regret being with you at all, the times I spent with you, were the best times I've ever had. Laughing, kissing, making love hold each other, telling each other I love you. I cherish these now and forever. The best part of it all was that for those few minutes of me going to you house, heart racing because of the sight of made my day in full. Even if it was for 5 mins, i got see you, it would make my day. Seeing your beautiful smile, your eyes and just you was worth it. and everytime we kissed I felt love. but its over and its been over for a long time and I must move on. Times have changed and Im pretty sure theyve changed for you as well. For me Im still that kid who says hes a nerd, that gets dizzy on rides, loves spider-man, but hates spiders. But im not a kid Im a Man a gentleman who would do anything for the person they love even if it means letting them go. I dont expect you to change your mind about breaking up with me or be convinced to be with me again, it would be nice if that was the case, but this is reality. I just wanted you to hear me out and remember who I was before than the person I was towards the end.
radiodarcy Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 this is a very well-written letter. but i agree with the previous poster, i would suggest that you don't send it. it doesn't matter if you don't expect her to take you back or not. right now you need to preserve your dignity and stick to no contact. anything you have to say to her, you can say on here. when she dumped you she lost all rights to hear what was on your mind. trust me - - i sent my ex numerous emails. begging him to give me a chance. all it seemed to do was strengthen his resolve *not* to. look at it this way, if you send her that e-mail you're giving her all the power; and as the dumper she has enough power over you as it is. NC is a way to take that power back. i know it can be frustrating to keep quiet, but silence can be a very powerful tool in helping you heal. let it work for you...
Author Rockyb87 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 yea i keep telling myself that i shouldnt care, but i have those days where i feel like maybe i should talk to her. And when i wrote the letter i was like wow she should read it, but as yall its best not to. It sux how this has come to it, but i cant dwell on the past i know this, my mind knows it but my heart is stuck and im trying to convince it to move on and let it all go and accept it. Lots of fish in the sea.
EgoJoe Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 The moment you put them above you. They walk 'cus they know they aren't where you think them to be. Learn the lesson. Don't send, don't send, don't send. Ever. If she talks to you in any way, chuckle a bit and say, 'Hey, I gotta go talk to somebody about something important, peace." Take it from someone who had a smart, mature and amazing girl turn into GIGS superficial superstar. Walk away, hold your head high and move on to bigger and better things. You are #1. You are #1! YOU ARE #1!!!!
Steen719 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 By the time you get as old as me, you have received some of these letters/phone calls/messages and believe me, if you have moved on, which she seems to have, this will just irritate her. It will not make her come back to you. If she decides that she is still interested, she will contact you. I know it is tempting, but do not do it. It will not accomplish what you want it to.
Author Rockyb87 Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 Yea i hear yall im still in the she will be back someday phase, but hopefully it'll pass and i'll eventually move on from all this. I know im not the only out there who has gone through this and im pretty sure that yall know what this feels like. It sux i know, but this is just a lesson learned in life that i can look back and say hey its gonna be alright. But thx for the advice i know im priority one and who cares if she doesnt talk to me at all, there are other women worth spending time on than this one girl. I just have to keep telling myself this, always.
Nantucket1984 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Yea i hear yall im still in the she will be back someday phase, but hopefully it'll pass and i'll eventually move on from all this. I know im not the only out there who has gone through this and im pretty sure that yall know what this feels like. It sux i know, but this is just a lesson learned in life that i can look back and say hey its gonna be alright. But thx for the advice i know im priority one and who cares if she doesnt talk to me at all, there are other women worth spending time on than this one girl. I just have to keep telling myself this, always. Rocky, I undertsand what your going through. I wrote a long email last night to my ex and was going to send it, but thank god I didnt. Its weird how things work. You want to show them you care and you love them but for some reason that is going to turn them off? That doesnt make sense to me but I guess thats just how things are. Ive been broken with up my now ex gf for 2 months and I did letters, texts, calls, etc and none of it has worked. I dont get it, I thought girls liked the attention and liked to hear they were loved, wanted, etc. Its seriously confusing as hell. But pretty much 99% of the advice people give on here is stick to NC. I have yet to do that for more then a week but I might as well try it since I have done everything else.
BCCA Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Nantucket1984, Girls do like to feel loved and appreciated, by the man they're with. They don't want to hear how the guy they dumped, who they want to move on and find someone else, is still in love with them and trying to talk them into coming back. Women usually feel guilty about hurting someone, and reminding them that they hurt you doesn't help you. The reason no contact is strongly encouraged is because its the ONLY chance you have to get them back (highly unlikely - think 100 yard TD pass with 0:01 seconds left) or more likely, get over them and move on. The first couple times you get dumped after a long relationship, it hurts like nothing else can. Once its happened several times, it still hurts, but you know what you have to do to move on. No contact becomes a beautiful thing
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