What_Next Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Turning children against their parents by projecting your hurt and anger onto them? JMK, if that is what you are doing then shame on you. If I mis-read your post then I apologize. Children need to remain innocent as much as possible in these matters. Leave them out of it and DO NOT use them as weapons.
reboot Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I can't imagine having to try to civilly & pleasantly co-parent a child with someone who betrayed me. But if one cares about their children, that's exactly what one does.
John Michael Kane Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Turning children against their parents by projecting your hurt and anger onto them? JMK, if that is what you are doing then shame on you. If I mis-read your post then I apologize. Children need to remain innocent as much as possible in these matters. Leave them out of it and DO NOT use them as weapons. I suggest you keep your assumptions to yourself since you don't even know half of the crap I have to deal with when I go to drop him off. He has a right to know about his parents and their history with each other and when he's mature enough, he will know. End of story.
bentnotbroken Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 But if one cares about their children, that's exactly what one does. I think it has a lot less to do with caring about your children and more to do with what is happening at the moment. I love my children. I have no intention of co-parenting with him at all. Granted, they are young adults and my involvement isn't a necessity, I couldn't imagine having to deal with Mr. Messy in that way. I have great admiration for those who can pull it off and great understanding for those who cannot.
soserious1 Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 But if one cares about their children, that's exactly what one does. All I'm saying is that I'm glad I don't have kids with my cheating ex, I feel like I'm being physically and emotionally violated every day of my life as it is, having to co-parent with him would be like living in hell.
Woggle Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I thank god I never had kids with my ex either. I would be taking a crack baby to visit his or mother in jail.
nyrias Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I suggest you keep your assumptions to yourself since you don't even know half of the crap I have to deal with when I go to drop him off. He has a right to know about his parents and their history with each other and when he's mature enough, he will know. End of story. Only your side of the story? Oh are you all for him getting opinions from everyone involved about both YOU and your ex-wife?
Mr.Harris Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Only your side of the story? Oh are you all for him getting opinions from everyone involved about both YOU and your ex-wife? His "version" of the events that happened between him and his ex is the only thing that counts.
nyrias Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 His "version" of the events that happened between him and his ex is the only thing that counts. Why? Because he is a totally objective human being? How about the views of other relatives? That is not practical anyway as long as he needs to share custody with his ex.
Mr.Harris Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Why? Because he is a totally objective human being? How about the views of other relatives? That is not practical anyway as long as he needs to share custody with his ex. He's not totally objective simply because he got cheated on and learned from his traumatic experience. Seeing the one person every day who screwed you over is a hard thing to live with. Being an ignorance to one's feelings is a waste of time. And if he wishes to tell his child the truth about his mother he has that right. I would too if I were in his position.
nyrias Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 He's not totally objective simply because he got cheated on and learned from his traumatic experience. Seeing the one person every day who screwed you over is a hard thing to live with. Being an ignorance to one's feelings is a waste of time. And if he wishes to tell his child the truth about his mother he has that right. I would too if I were in his position. Sure he has the right. What i don't get is the wife should have the right to air HER story too, just like in a courtroom. Surely she may not have a good story, and surely she may lie (which he has the full right to contradict). But are you telling me that you are advocating NC for the kids with their MOM?????? Even murderers have a chance to defend themselves (and yes, they do lie too) in court.
Mr.Harris Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Sure he has the right. What i don't get is the wife should have the right to air HER story too, just like in a courtroom. Because her story doesn't matter and it's full of lies. Surely she may not have a good story, and surely she may lie (which he has the full right to contradict). But are you telling me that you are advocating NC for the kids with their MOM?????? Yes I am, and I'm sure he'd obviously agree, along with countless others. Nothing wrong with that. Cheaters don't deserve anything. Even murderers have a chance to defend themselves (and yes, they do lie too) in court. Murderers don't deserve to have a chance either.
nyrias Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Because her story doesn't matter and it's full of lies. Yes I am, and I'm sure he'd obviously agree, along with countless others. Nothing wrong with that. Cheaters don't deserve anything. Murderers don't deserve to have a chance either. Luckily our legal system is not as extreme as your view. I suppose you are opposed to humans to have BASIC RIGHTS, such as to tell their side of stories, and confront their accusers. I am sure cheating has hurt you, and you r not the responsible party. However, you are now a very bitter and extreme person. I am glad that society is not as extreme as yours. You seem to be devoid of reasons, devoid of perspective, and the only mission in life is to hurt cheaters, and take away all their rights. Cheating is wrong & cheaters need to face consequences. But they are still humans. Do you want to strip them of the right to vote too?
Author HalfAlive22 Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 wow that really went off the topic:confused:
Mr.Harris Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Luckily our legal system is not as extreme as your view. I suppose you are opposed to humans to have BASIC RIGHTS, such as to tell their side of stories, and confront their accusers. I am sure cheating has hurt you, and you r not the responsible party. However, you are now a very bitter and extreme person. I am glad that society is not as extreme as yours. You seem to be devoid of reasons, devoid of perspective, and the only mission in life is to hurt cheaters, and take away all their rights. Cheating is wrong & cheaters need to face consequences. But they are still humans. Do you want to strip them of the right to vote too? You're going off topic. And just because cheaters are humans it doesn't give them the right to abuse the innocent.
nyrias Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 You're going off topic. And just because cheaters are humans it doesn't give them the right to abuse the innocent. And it does not give YOU the right to strip of their basic human rights. Ditto for murderers. Ditto for robbers. Ditto for rapist. Surely they are scummed. You want to kill them all without trial? Without psyche evaluation? No one says cheaters are right. Still you don't need to kill everyone who ever makes a mistake.
Mr.Harris Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 And it does not give YOU the right to strip of their basic human rights. Yet cheaters strip their spouses rights. Ditto for murderers. Ditto for robbers. Ditto for rapist. Surely they are scummed. You want to kill them all without trial? Without psyche evaluation? If there is pure, concrete evidence that these guys committed crimes, then yes. Mental evaluation is just another sorry excuse to keep those criminals alive in a cell, paid by taxpayers. No one says cheaters are right. Still you don't need to kill everyone who ever makes a mistake. You're wrong again. It's not a mistake. It is a calculated decision. Having unprotected sex, giving your spouse a disease that will shorten their lifespan, etc. Men stuck with paying for a child that isn't theirs for the next 18 years. It's ridiculous. The above consequences listed by me are simply not just casual mistakes made by cheaters. And those are just some of the consequences that innocent people have to endure. This is not rocket science and you surely know this.
OldOnTheInside Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 (edited) And it does not give YOU the right to strip of their basic human rights. Ditto for murderers. Ditto for robbers. Ditto for rapist. Surely they are scummed. You want to kill them all without trial? Without psyche evaluation? No one says cheaters are right. Still you don't need to kill everyone who ever makes a mistake. People have the right (I don't like that word, it has very little practical value in everyday life) to do whatever the eff they want. Free will n' all. Cheaters have the right to cheat. Murderers can kill. Robbers can steal. Rapists can rape. And people have the right to get revenge, become apathetic, forgive...whatever. Every action has a reaction, and when a person commits an action, it isn't illogical to expect a very ugly reaction. Cause and effect. Whether they should do these things is another story entirely. A complex situation becomes even more complex once ethics is brought into the fold. In this case, a "cheater" is using their own rights to influence the rights of another to a significant degree. Retribution is one form or another wouldn't be surprising. Edited June 19, 2011 by OldOnTheInside
John Michael Kane Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Only your side of the story? Oh are you all for him getting opinions from everyone involved about both YOU and your ex-wife? As Mr.Harris said my story IS what counts and it IS the complete truth. He has nothing to learn from his mother if you ask me.
Summer Breeze Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Wow that did get off topic. I left my exH just about the second I realized he was cheating. I knew no matter what he did I couldn't ever trust him again. I honestly don't believe he's ever cheated on his W (exOW). I think he probably would have stayed faithrul to me but I wasn't going to allow myself to take that chance. Did I forget it. Within a week or two. I had a young child and I wasn't going to allow the child to see me fall apart or to hate it's father.
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