NicoleM Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I exchanged numbers with this guy and he asked me what I was looking for and I told him point blank no games and someone who knows who to treat a lady. I played games in my past relationship and I am not in the mood for it and then he disappears:eek: I figured I had to be upfront about games in the beginning right?? Treating a lady rights seems normal too right?? What was supposed to say?? BTW I didn't say anything about my past relationship and his mind games. I just said I am not in the mood for mind games. Been there done that....
youngskywalker Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 You said exactly what you should have said. It sifted out the chaff didn't it? You should be happy. He wasn't serious, or he had several different girls going at once an you didn't end up to be #1. Keep doing what you're doing.
Author NicoleM Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 Crazy isn't it?? Maybe he was looking for a quickie and I am not that kind of girl and maybe he likes playing games but that isn't me. Strange how one word scares one person off.
Author NicoleM Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 I didn't mention my ex at all he asked me what are you looking for?? I said someone who knows who to treat a lady and no games. I only mentioned my ex in this thread because he played games and it got old real quick so I have to be upfront about no games. No mention of the ex at all....
youngskywalker Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Well my current g/f and I talked about what we were looking for on the third date. Same as you, no games and a LTR. It worked out fine. There must have been some disconnect on his part. I wouldn't worry about it but instead look for the next guy and tell him the same thing. Just don't be too pushy or demanding about it.
Silivren Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Sometimes guys ask for girls numbers with absolutely no intention of calling them. ...just to see if they can.. Crappy yes, but it happens.
Rinnix Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 It's likely he wasn't on the same page as you. No big deal, just move onto the next date.
Celestine Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 And next... HOnestly, good for you, that you told him before any mess could be created!
dispatch3d Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 haven't even gone out yet and you already mention games. Plus you said "I played games in the last relationship" and "treated like a lady" all kind of equate to likely game player. I would have just answered a date? a relationship? Going on about games when asked "what are you looking for?" is kinda ? didn't really answer the question. It's possible he will call later. It's also possible nothing you could do would result in him calling (I get numbers that I don't call).... Generally if I don't call the number it's because I don't think it'll go anywhere, so why bother kinda thing.
Author NicoleM Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 He gave me his number I texted him said hey it's Nicole from OKC and he said hey how are you doing?? We talk for a bit and he was very consistent on texting back and forth and then he said soo Nicole what are you looking for? I said someone who knows how to treat a lady and no games. He was consistent with texting back and forth and then I mention what I just mentioned and poof he was gone.
SmileFace Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 He gave me his number I texted him said hey it's Nicole from OKC and he said hey how are you doing?? We talk for a bit and he was very consistent on texting back and forth and then he said soo Nicole what are you looking for? I said someone who knows how to treat a lady and no games. He was consistent with texting back and forth and then I mention what I just mentioned and poof he was gone. He probably wasn't looking for the same thing. Big woop... more fish in the sea.
EasyHeart Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Crazy isn't it?? Maybe he was looking for a quickie and I am not that kind of girl and maybe he likes playing games but that isn't me. Strange how one word scares one person off.Which "one word" do you think scared him off? My guess is that "knows how to treat a lady" came off as "high maintenance".
Author NicoleM Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 Oh lord I always mess it up somehow lol
BCCA Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 He asked you twice what you were looking for, and dissapeared when you gave him an answer that was perfectly acceptable. My guess is he was hoping you just 'wanted to have fun' or were 'looking for a good time'. He's just looking to get laid as easily as possible, and didn't want to date or be serious. Good riddance.
dispatch3d Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Oh lord I always mess it up somehow lol Oh come on, if the guy gives up that easy he would probably quit later on even if you said the right thing in this particular instance for some asinine reason
IrishCarBomb Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 I figured I had to be upfront about games in the beginning right?? Disagree. In the beginning a person should be fun and interesting. They should not be already laying down rules and being rigid (even if you aren't rigid, making the statement makes you look rigid). If a guy is a gentleman, he'll naturally treat you this way without you needing to lay down the "rules". BUT... you should still hold up your own rules against game playing. If a guy jerks you around, ditch him. However, don't bluntly state the rules up front immediately. If I met a girl and she immediately laid out the rules for dating her, I'd think she was already way too high maintenance to have any fun with. Have you own "rules" (i.e. cut contact with flakes, ditch guys that don't treat you well, etc...). Just don't lay them out to a guy you just met. It would only give a potential guy reason to doubt.
oaks Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 I exchanged numbers with this guy and he asked me what I was looking for and I told him point blank no games and someone who knows who to treat a lady. So he's not interested in someone who, when asked what she wants, says that she doesn't want any game playing and does want someone who knows how to treat a lady. Well done for filtering out someone unsuitable for you early on before you've invested time or feelings! Perhaps he knows that he's not much of a gentleman, or perhaps he thinks that needing to know how to treat a lady means that you're a princess (I'm not saying that you are!). I don't think that saying you don't like games really distinguishes you from anybody else - does anyone really say "I like playing games"? - and I think it's a confusing statement. What does it mean? If it means something like "I'm looking for someone with honesty and integrity" then I think that sounds more positive than saying "I don't want to play games" just because one is saying what I do want and one is saying what I don't want. Anyway, if you scared him off by saying that then that's almost certainly for the best regardless of the reason why he ran, so don't worry about it! Good luck with the next one.
Recommended Posts