Attractive or not?

[vijar534]

I've been dealing with some confidence issues as of late and have been unsuccessful with the ladies. Was wondering if my appearence is a big factor of this?

 

 

I'm 5'6 with a muscular frame. If you saw me at a bar or walking past you on the street would you be particularly attracted to me?

[Stung]

You're not likely to get very many replies, as there has been a rash of posts very similar to this lately: attractive or reasonably attractive people with confidence issues posting their pictures for approval. I think a lot of forum regulars are burnt out on the theme.

 

For whatever it's worth, I think you're attractive, and a better dresser than most of the other unconfident posters, to boot.

 

Maybe your problems with women actually stem from your confidence issues and you're perpetuating a vicious cycle.

[quankanne]

you're a cutie, but if I were to meet you on the street, I'd find myself suddenly too shy to talk because you're that cute and cute boys make me tongue-tied, even at *this* age!

[Sassygirl2]

Yes, I think you are handsome. You shouldn't have any problems with women - but a lack of confidence is a big turn-off. My ex was not very handsome - quite plain - but he had a lot of confidence which made me crazy about him!

[Ouroboros]

You look fine. You might be slightly short but that won't matter. There are many women shorter than you who would be interested. For women it is more about personality than physicality so if you are a shy guy that will hurt you the most.

[creighton0123]

I would toss you a second glance. You are very attractive. Be yourself and don't worry about what people will think of you. Those who reject you for whatever reason generally aren't worth it unless you are being sketchy.

[Dust]

First and final step to being attractive would be to find yourself attractive. Stop looking for outside validation.

[Feelin Frisky]

Your look well enough and your face seems to reflect a basic accessibility and "non-threateningness". I'd say there's hope your you. Be positive and keep asserting yourself and something good will happen.

[denise_xo]

I think you're very good looking. I really like your facial features and your hair style. Your glasses are smart and you have exactly the style of dress that I like. Physically, you're definitely above average in my book. Like Frisky said, you also project a positive vibe, at least in that particular photo.

 

As others have said, most people who start these kind of threads on LS look absolutely fine but often have confidence issues or social anxiety or the like. So, if you know you have any issues like that, just face them head on. It's definitely not looks that are holding you back, but attraction is a complex package of multiple factors and doesn't fly on looks alone. Good luck addressing whatever it is

[Thierro]

These posts are starting to rub me the wrong way. What the hell are these people thinking? Get your head out of your ass and start accepting that what you can’t change, open your eyes and see how much worse it can be. How dare you? I can’t imagine what some people have to put up with because they look different. You look “NORMAL”.

 

Stop complaining about this nonsense and start feeling attractive and accept and respect the way you look. People in way worse situations have already accepted it, so you can do too.

[denise_xo]

These posts are starting to rub me the wrong way. What the hell are these people thinking? Get your head out of your ass and start accepting that what you can’t change, open your eyes and see how much worse it can be. How dare you? I can’t imagine what some people have to put up with because they look different. You look “NORMAL”.

 

Stop complaining about this nonsense and start feeling attractive and accept and respect the way you look. People in way worse situations have already accepted it, so you can do too.

 

Hi Thierro You know, I think posts like this are OK. Most of us have had to deal with our own insecurities in one way or another. If LS helps people go through that process, that's a good thing, IMO. Hopefully he will take the advice he's gotten here to heart. Hope you're doing well.

[Eeyore79]

You look perfectly fine. As has been said, you're slightly on the short side, but some women won't be bothered about that, especially shorter women. Your style of dress is nice but conservative; that sort of look is usually attractive to the reserved, intelligent type of female. If this isn't your type of woman, you might want to alter your look slightly to attract a different type.

 

However, even though you look nice I still wouldn't approach you - I wouldn't approach any man. Most women (especially the conservative type that your look is likely to attract) don't approach men, and instead wait for the men to approach them. Maybe you've met a number of women who were attracted to you, but have failed to approach them?

[USMCHokie]

You look fine. Though i'd suggest that you stop wearing black. Seriously. And more gym.

[runner]

nothing wrong with black if it matches your character and you pull it off naturally. don't wear loud colours if it isn't you. although the dark clothing does make it difficult to see your physique if that's the critique you were looking for here.

[Thierro]

Hi Thierro You know, I think posts like this are OK. Most of us have had to deal with our own insecurities in one way or another. If LS helps people go through that process, that's a good thing, IMO. Hopefully he will take the advice he's gotten here to heart. Hope you're doing well.

 

I get that they are insecure. But it takes only one negative comment here (or elsewhere) to feed their insecurities. I don’t believe that after reading all these sincere positive comments, his feelings will be at ease. He’s not going to ooze self-confidence.

 

I have come to the conclusion good, confident, understanding and empathetic people will NEVER give you the feeling you are ugly or worthless. Only people that need a lot of self-adjustment and people caught up in their own insecurities will.

 

You echo what people like that told you, Vijar. Their words become your thoughts. You don’t get born with the inner believe that you are ugly. Only you can bring peace and confidence into your heart.

 

I think it’s a pity people waste so much time on insecurities. Once they are 100 years old, they’ll regret every single moment of negative thinking.

 

Although negative emotions can be an oppurtunity to do better.

Edited June 18, 2011 by Thierro

[denise_xo]

I get that they are insecure. But it takes only one negative comment here (or elsewhere) to feed their insecurities. I don’t believe that after reading all these sincere positive comments, his feelings will be at ease. He’s not going to ooze self-confidence.

 

Of course not. But if he has some ability for self reflection, he might learn from that and move forward. It's a process and the key factor is capacity to learn and self reflect.

[Thierro]

Of course not. But if he has some ability for self reflection, he might learn from that and move forward. It's a process and the key factor is capacity to learn and self reflect.

 

I do believe a guy like him can go the distance.

 

I hope you will make the right choices in life, Vijar.

[Ross MwcFan]

You're a little on the short side, and your clothes look a bit too dark and a bit plain. Apart from this though, you look fine.