Nickelbee Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Hi, this is my first post. Ive been reading a lot here, and its a relief in a way. I am out of 3 years relationship. She broke up, said nc and no fiendship, move on. Reason being i havent proposed and i had a negative attitude. I cried in front of her but accepted the break up. Havent heard anything since. Doesnt make sense.... Any thought on this? It was a LDR. totally blue.....
GivenUp0083 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Hi, this is my first post. Ive been reading a lot here, and its a relief in a way. I am out of 3 years relationship. She broke up, said nc and no fiendship, move on. Reason being i havent proposed and i had a negative attitude. I cried in front of her but accepted the break up. Havent heard anything since. Doesnt make sense.... Any thought on this? It was a LDR. totally blue..... Well without a lot of details, there could be many reasons why she ended this, but ultimately you have to realize she doesn't want to be with you as reason enough. It's really hard right now and I'm sure you're in a lot of pain. What you have to ask yourself is if you'd really want to be with someone who would remove you from their life completely because you didn't propose to her on her timeframe expectation? If you really believe that after this experience you do have a negative attitude, maybe you can use this as motivation to change yourself. Big events and adversity can be good for our motivation to improve ourselves. I lost 20 lbs from working out and I have real, rock hard, bulging ABS after working hard to be in better shape and stronger. I had a beer gut, and decided I needed to keep busy and I wanted to improve myself. Use this time to do something about your life.
Kilty Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 She could be testing you in an attempt to get you to propose or at least take the relationship to another level ?
Author Nickelbee Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 I told her i was planning to propose....she basically laughed at me. She was quite indifferent when breaking up. We spent less and less time the last couple of months due to work. Nc for 3 months...im really down as i feel very guilty for neglecting her needs. I feel like its all my fault. I Was alwaysthere for her...she blamed me for everything.
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 1st of all, a break up is NEVER one-sided. There are aspects of her commitment which must also be questionable. It's a given. If you stopped trying - so did she. If you weren't trying hard enough - neither was she. You may have had 3 years, but she checked out some time ago..... go NC, stay NC and learn from the experience. You may NOT be the marrying kind. Not everyone can be. But some people think you need to be to stay in a committed relationship. She obviously felt the white dress and gold band were more significant to her than the fact you'd stayed together for 3 years..... So let go, and move on.
RuinedLife Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 We spent less and less time the last couple of months due to work. Nc for 3 months...im really down as i feel very guilty for neglecting her needs. I feel like its all my fault. I Was alwaysthere for her...she blamed me for everything. Mmm... contradiction much? Maybe it was a combo of these, she was over-demanding and you were busy with work? Fair enough. Either way if she wasn't willing to work through your relationship problems with you then sounds like you are better off without her.
Author Nickelbee Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 1st of all, a break up is NEVER one-sided. There are aspects of her commitment which must also be questionable. It's a given. If you stopped trying - so did she. If you weren't trying hard enough - neither was she. You may have had 3 years, but she checked out some time ago..... go NC, stay NC and learn from the experience. You may NOT be the marrying kind. Not everyone can be. But some people think you need to be to stay in a committed relationship. She obviously felt the white dress and gold band were more significant to her than the fact you'd stayed together for 3 years..... So let go, and move on. Thank you for the input. You're right. She seems very happy these days as i heard from mutual friends. Seems like shes over me quite fast. Dont know if shes dating, but dont want to know either. I guess she checked out a while ago, its just sad that i missed the signs. When you trust someone really much you never feel its THAT wrong... She started to criticize me alot for how i look, clothes etc. And i thought its just a way she wants me to take care of myself. Im not fat or anything...also starting arguments of anything. I could tolerate a lot, but got upset sometmes. I did call her names, which i apologized for right after. I think i also lost some respect for her during the relationship...she kept telling me how many guys were asking her out, liking her etc. To make me jealous. I reacted but not in rage, i laughed it off sort off. I trusted her. Yes its hard to swallow this, but move on is the best adcice. Its just that after 3 years, she doesnt even want to know how im doing....? That really is hard. She doeant even care that much...life is tough.
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