hamztruly Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 So i broke up with my ex about a week ago because I wasn't happy and feel we're too different and not getting what I want out of the relationship. Especially when he insinuated i stole from him and then realise that I actually hadn't. He's been apologising for it ever since. Point is, I do not want him back and neither do I want him to do things to make me get back with him... I've told him no funny stuff when he comes to mine otherwise he gets thrown out. I agreed to meet up because he was starting to do my bloody head in with all his begging to get back with him and he seem to think i still love him loads when i don't and all i wana do is live my life in peace. So basically i've asked him to come round to mine so that he can see i'm truly over him. How do i make myself friggin clear to him that i want nothing more to do with him without me feeling guilty about it!!. I have a dominant superego and feel guilty about everything!! HELP?
rs.dallaire Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 You seem to know what to say already. Say the same things, be nice and firm. He'll get it. Also, I would not see him for a while after this.
vsmini Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 How do i make myself friggin clear to him that i want nothing more to do with him without me feeling guilty about it!!. Ummm how about not agreeing to meet with him. That doesn't really scream "I don't want anything more to do with you." Does it? No contact is the way to get your message across. Trust me - when you see him begging/crying or throwing a tantrum in front of you the guilt will not be assuaged but simply magnified. Bad move. You even call it a bad move but are going through with it. That's not very smart.
iJester Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Call the meeting off and stop answering all contact from him. You're a fool if you think meeting with him will help anything. You will end up throwing him out(if you stick to your word).
Author hamztruly Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 I knowwwwwwww.... argghh... I'm stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, such a frigging idiot I am!!... he just kept begging me. I told him on several occasion that it was over and that i have moved on but then he said seeing me one last time will make him know its truly over and that only then will he be able to move on... If i text him now saying i don't wanna meet up with him, that would basically scream 'i'm confused' when I'm not.. I want nothing more to do with him. I just wanted him to leave me the hell alone and he wouldn't do it and said the only thing that could help him truly move on is to see me one last time. Do you reckon I should just basically start ignoring him starting now??? so that he doesn't come over nor talk to me anymore? or will that be cruel?... I made the greatest mistake trying to be nice to him and said we could be friends. argghhhhh
vsmini Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I knowwwwwwww.... argghh... I'm stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, such a frigging idiot I am!!... he just kept begging me. I told him on several occasion that it was over and that i have moved on but then he said seeing me one last time will make him know its truly over and that only then will he be able to move on... If i text him now saying i don't wanna meet up with him, that would basically scream 'i'm confused' when I'm not.. I want nothing more to do with him. I just wanted him to leave me the hell alone and he wouldn't do it and said the only thing that could help him truly move on is to see me one last time. Do you reckon I should just basically start ignoring him starting now??? so that he doesn't come over nor talk to me anymore? or will that be cruel?... I made the greatest mistake trying to be nice to him and said we could be friends. argghhhhh Who cares what your texts "screams" when you know in your own head that you're not confused. Best thing - send him an email or call him on the phone and explain exactly why you will not be meeting with him. Explain that you made a mistake, you are sorry that you agreed to meet and tell him not to contact you anymore because you will not respond - under any circumstance. He might get mad, call 10000 times, text nasty things. It's up to you to be the big girl and ignore it.
iJester Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Seeing you will not help him get over you. You should tell him that you don't want him to come over and that it will be best for both you to cease all contact and not be friends. Then tell him that you won't be answering any more of his calls/texts. I suggest doing this by text and not responding to his replies.
Author hamztruly Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 yippeeeeeee!!! I did it, i did it!!! thank you all very much... so relieved
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Good. keep it that way. BUT: If ever you do agree to meet with him, make sure it's on neutral territory, like a cafe, or a park, (meeting him at your place, psychologically tells him he has an open door to your emotional 'territory') and - without telling him - have somebody with you. This person isn't there to argue your corner, or defend you. they're merely there, as a 'silent witness'...they need say nothing. Just be there..... That way, he will be more guarded, less gushing, and less inclined to make a complete idiot of himself. And he will listen and get the message more clearly.... I take it he has nothing at your place that belongs to him - or any of your stuff at his....?
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