dale_gribble Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 So I'm surfing the net finding other forums like this one dealing with infidelity, and I come across this one particular forum that actually has a separate section ONLY for WW spouses to vent and complain about their BS's lack of progress. Here's the kicker though- BS's are forbidden from responding and replying to these posts- UN****INGBELIEVABLE... we(BS's) have to sit their and take it. I actually got banned from this place for "projecting" on a certain poster- What the **** does that even mean? I mean- REALLY, how do you expect to get an honest opinion when they censor and ban members for their truethfull opinions concerning the atrocious behavior these cheaters have displayed. These guys(cheaters) are being coddled by the mods and administrators on this POS site- U****INGBELIEVABLE!
nyrias Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 So I'm surfing the net finding other forums like this one dealing with infidelity, and I come across this one particular forum that actually has a separate section ONLY for WW spouses to vent and complain about their BS's lack of progress. Here's the kicker though- BS's are forbidden from responding and replying to these posts- UN****INGBELIEVABLE... we(BS's) have to sit their and take it. I actually got banned from this place for "projecting" on a certain poster- What the **** does that even mean? I mean- REALLY, how do you expect to get an honest opinion when they censor and ban members for their truethfull opinions concerning the atrocious behavior these cheaters have displayed. These guys(cheaters) are being coddled by the mods and administrators on this POS site- U****INGBELIEVABLE! I have no doubt that you are really angry about this. However, i suppose, you are not born yesterday, and first amendment guarantee everyone has a place to vent, no matter how unpopular one is. If this is any consolation, most people are probably as angry towards the KKK sites, the neo-Nazi sites and all the hate group sites. BTW, what site is that? At the same time, you shouldn't be surprised. I am actually surprised that many cheaters would come here to face the wrath of the BS. It is human nature to group with those in similar situations and support one another. That applies to alcoholics, drug users, people with gambling problems. i don't see why cheaters won't do the same. BTW, what site is that?
reboot Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Actually, the First Amendment has absolutely nothing to do with message boards.
What_Next Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 The First Amendment? Really? Oh my. dale_gribble the thing is that cheaters don't get coddled here on LS as you seem to believe they do. In fact quite the opposite. They often get quite harsh treatment. However, it must be done within the terms of use as set forth by the moderation team. If you went outside those terms then you would have been moderated as you obviously have been. Heck as have I a few times. You are obviously quite emotional right now and given what I have read about your situation I'd hardly say anyone could blame you. However, targeting that anger onto anonymous people on a board such as this really won't help you. Learn to focus it and in the end you'll be a lot better off. I honestly have a massive amount of sympathy for you with regards to what your wife did, it was dispicable.
Linda9999 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I think I know which site you mean, and although I do find it heavily moderated to a degree, I also see their point. We have the OM/OW forum here which, although not as heavily moderated, is still seen as a place for them to post which is relatively 'safe'. They do get ripped new ones every so often here. But the WS forum there is a useful tool for those WS who are honestly trying to reconcile and/or change their ways. It isn't somewhere that they can go and say how wonderful being a cheating dickhead is.
Author dale_gribble Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 First off- I wasn't reffering to this site. Second, I never said that WS had no right to explain or vent their feelings. Everyone deserves their say in ALL discussions. What I have a problem with is that the chance to retort(reply) to a post is taken away by ****ty mods, who take it personally because THEY may be, or have been a cheating spouse at one point. As Linda pointed out- this place is HEAVILY moderated to the point of censorship. I was under the impression that we could respond in whatever capacity, as long as we don't TOTALLY destroy this person to the point that it does irreprable harm to their psyche or self-esteem. I actually commend WW spouses who come to this site and chime in. But this place is rediculous. Your treading on thin ice here from the moment you are percieved to be antagonistic. Reading my posts- Have I attacked anyone on personal level? Do I lash out in a vengefull rage? How can you run a site where the mods have total control of who and what is to be discussed when they are guilty of the very thing being hotly contested- thats a conflict of interest- Is it not? At least this place doesn't treat its members like children who need to be supervised at all times. I thought we were adults making ADULT decisions and and making ADULT mistakes. At least WW spouses here are thick skinned and "dish it out as good as they get it" from jilted spouses. We don't need any referees- WE'RE ADULTS for Christ's sake!
Carrot2000 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I think I know which site you're referring too; BS's can post a response on the wayward spouse page but cannot start a topic. The same rule applies to WWs on the BS page. They do seem quick to ban folks, but I disagree that WWs are being coddled; I've seen plenty of folks get 2x4s to the head over there.
What_Next Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Dale-gribble., if I mis-read your post I apologize.
Loni Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Most forums are free, owned and paid for by the moderators. They are pretty much free to dictate the terms of service. It's what you agree to abide by when you click the button that says "I agree".
Bittersweetie Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 I think I know which site you're referring too; BS's can post a response on the wayward spouse page but cannot start a topic. The same rule applies to WWs on the BS page. They do seem quick to ban folks, but I disagree that WWs are being coddled; I've seen plenty of folks get 2x4s to the head over there. I know what site you are referring to as well; I spent some time lurking there for a while. And I agree that the WS are not all being coddled in their section, I have seen plenty of WS get absolutely called out by fWS. I have even seen WS get banned themselves when it's obvious that they are not working toward reconciliation or owning their sh*t. My H actually found that site very helpful as a BS and spent a lot of time there, though he has now stopped visiting as often.
Author dale_gribble Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 I'm just of the mind that you should be able to speak your mind no matter what it is, without being chastised and treated like a child while mommy was driving the kids to school. Like I said, why ban people you don't agree with. "I have even seen WS get banned themselves when it's obvious that they are not working toward reconciliation or owning their sh*t." On this site, people who are STILL cheating aren't banned for their indiscretions. They might very well be dispicable people indeed, but to each his own- right? I see it both ways. You can't have a true discussion about the issues(infidelity), when the fear of being bounced is swirling around. You might say I have sour grapes because, like on this site, I came to meet some really good people with great advice, only to be kicked off for making a "questionable" comment at best. Now I can't even contact some of these good people because I can't retrieve my PM's. It would be nice to reach out to these people from time to time to exchange our progress... you know what I mean. I've also made some aquaintances here, and feel totally relieved that I don't need to feel as if the "Gestapo" is around the corner monitoring and censoring my every thought.
Mr.Harris Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 But the WS forum there is a useful tool for those WS who are honestly trying to reconcile and/or change their ways. It isn't somewhere that they can go and say how wonderful being a cheating dickhead is. Sorry that is not true. If you read all of those threads you will find that they are coddled heavily, and will remove posts by the BSs.
Author dale_gribble Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 ^^ ditto Mr. Harris. THEY are coddled in there... and some of the **** they vent in there is quite preposterous; without the chance for a BS to put them in thier rightful place.
GorillaTheater Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 It's really hard for me to see this as being a big deal. There are all kinds of sites for all kinds of tastes. I can think of one site that's 100% "torch the bitch/bastard". Another couple for "standers", where folks are encouraged to "stand" regardless of what sh*t the WS is doling out. Another site I've heard of is where OWs get together to plot how to get the MM and screw over the BW. Different strokes. At least on the site you're thinking of, there's SOME attempt, however feeble it may be at times, to get WS's to own their sh*t and improve as people. Tough to see how that's a bad thing.
Mr.Harris Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 It's really hard for me to see this as being a big deal. There are all kinds of sites for all kinds of tastes. I can think of one site that's 100% "torch the bitch/bastard". Another couple for "standers", where folks are encouraged to "stand" regardless of what sh*t the WS is doling out. Another site I've heard of is where OWs get together to plot how to get the MM and screw over the BW. Different strokes. At least on the site you're thinking of, there's SOME attempt, however feeble it may be at times, to get WS's to own their sh*t and improve as people. Tough to see how that's a bad thing. It is actually a big deal. People getting together on a forum learning how to further hurt innocent people. It's sad really.
reboot Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 It is actually a big deal. People getting together on a forum learning how to further hurt innocent people. It's sad really. So call the thought police.
What_Next Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 The truth of the matter is that there will be forums, public squares, bar rooms and any other variety of places where cheaters can go to talk about cheating, where criminals can go to talk about crime etc etc. You obviously are VERY upset about this forum, so voice your dis-pleasure and if the moderators/owners do not want to listen then stop using it.
Mr.Harris Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 The truth of the matter is that there will be forums, public squares, bar rooms and any other variety of places where cheaters can go to talk about cheating, where criminals can go to talk about crime etc etc. You obviously are VERY upset about this forum, so voice your dis-pleasure and if the moderators/owners do not want to listen then stop using it. The same applies to you.
What_Next Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Mr. Harris what is your issue? You go from thread to thread arguing with anyone and everyone. Please learn to have some respect.
Mr.Harris Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Mr. Harris what is your issue? You go from thread to thread arguing with anyone and everyone. Please learn to have some respect. What Next what is your issue with folks simply expressing themselves? No one is "disrespecting" anyone on a public forum, dude.
What_Next Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 (edited) Ah well at least I had my morning laugh. 'dude', wow. Edited June 17, 2011 by What_Next
John Michael Kane Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 Ah well at least I had my morning laugh. 'dude', wow. I sure did too.
Author dale_gribble Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 I stopped usingit... for sure. I e-mailed the administrator just so I can retrieve my PM's so I can contact some people as I had explained, and they told me to "get lost." I mean... WTF? All I did to get banned was post something concerning this WW, who can't seem to go NC with OM: this was the third time she did it so I hit her with a virtual 2x4. I told her that it seemed like she was in a false R, and felt sorry for her husband for giving her another chance. I got a warning for that one. Then I read another one where WW was tired of how long WH was taking to get over the affair, and she was feeling lonely again; and ge this- she didn't know wha would happen if she ran into OM again... Are you ****ing kidding me!?!?! I really let her have for that. I told her she's a poor excuse for a remorseful why, but never did I call her names. That comment got my bounce from the whol site. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? If that's not coddling, I don't know what is. This site is a refreshing change of pace though. Thank you LS.
nyrias Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 The truth of the matter is that there will be forums, public squares, bar rooms and any other variety of places where cheaters can go to talk about cheating, where criminals can go to talk about crime etc etc. You obviously are VERY upset about this forum, so voice your dis-pleasure and if the moderators/owners do not want to listen then stop using it. ^^^ this. There will always be forums that offend our sensibilities, moral values, and what-no. The liberals have forums that infuriated the right, and the right has forums that make the left screams. Complaining is a reasonable way of letting out steam. Just don't expect they will suddenly see the light and change their tune.
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