Rafaela Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) Please help me i have a very controlling boyfriend that he deleted all my friends numbers, i dont meet them anymore because of him thats why i need your help guys my boyfriend cheated on me even he didnt has sex with her but he was taking her out and giving her rides so its still cheating for me. anyways i want to break up with him so badly after i found out but he wont give me up. i changed my number and he still coming to my place knocking the door and leaving letters under my door, claiming that she just lied about him and there is nothing like that. i called his father because we got family involved already regarding our engagement that is suppose to be by the end of summer but its not happining now anyways his father warned him to stop playing around he keeps feeding my lies and nonse sense and i already spoke with the girl and she told me everything. please tell me how i can get rid off this jerk i have been very mature in my conversation and how much pain i m carring, i explained to him that there is noway to forgive him as long i was very faithful in whole 1 year of our relationship, but still pretending that he is innocent then i gave him a chance to prove it by calling her and saying it right in her face thatshe is a liar but he couldnt, now i am getting angry because it seems like its taking so long to break up with him, i even started insulting him recently just to making him hating me but still nothing, i even Threatened that i am gonna call police for him because i dont want to open my foor for him so he made damages in the door. plzzzzzzzzz help me what should i do? Edited June 15, 2011 by Rafaela
carhill Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 IMO, the best way to handle this, assuming you can't move to a new, undisclosed location, is to document his intrusions upon your person and swear out a criminal complaint against him. As an example, his damaging your door could be considered an act of domestic violence, a threat, or assault, as you felt threats to your person from his attack on the door. Document the changes you've made to contact information, eliminating paths of potential contact from him. I don't know if a registered cease and desist letter from a lawyer would help in your jurisdiction, but that's a possibility too. If restraining orders are applicable in your jurisdiction, that's a possibility too. The same evidence can work for that path as well as a criminal complaint. Stay safe, document and don't hesitate to involve law enforcement if you feel you're in danger.
Audrina Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 You can't get rid of him because you keep talking to him. Tell him that you have given it lots of careful thought and consideration but you no longer want him in your life under any circumstances and are certain you will not be changing your mind. Do not talk to his family. Do not take his calls. Do not answer the door when he's there. Do not respond to his letters. Be done.
Author Rafaela Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 please guys help me, i am so depressed sitting at work right now lost i cannot even focus, i even lost my appetite and weight. i m burning inside how could he could lie to me after 1 year of a loving relationship, planing for marriage and kids, type of house, cars i cant believe how he is trying to save this relationship, and pretending that he cant live without me my boyfriend is a good liar and he knows how to get away with it. he told me that he used to give her rides before meeting me (meet him last year) and he told me that it was even a different car now the current one so i asked him when you bought your car he said last year and i tried to ignore the topic till last nite when we were goign to theatre and i asked him about the car papers, he gave to me and the surprise was: he got the car in 2009 and everything in the documents. i need to be an FBI agent with him to catch him lying. please guys tell me what should i do:lmao:
carhill Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Oh, yeah, definitely no proactive contact with him or any person associating with him. Otherwise, you will be viewed as not being serious about getting 'rid of this shameless dog'. Change your phone number, e-mail, IM, etc. Delete your FB account. No catching up with 'mutual' friends about him. ETA, why are you going to the theater with him when you want to get rid of him? It appears you have some soul-searching to do.
Author Rafaela Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 i know that i shouldnt go to theatre with him, but i loved this guy so much and its just hard for me to believe that its over anyways i will break this contact between us and convince myself thats its really over.
Audrina Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Look, I"m just going to be completely honest with you. From what you've described this was not a loving relationship, but an emotionally abusive one. He isolated you from your friends, lies to you and generally treats your poorly from your own description. Is that the kind of man you want to be in a relationship with? Do you want to be married to someone who won't let you have any friends? He is controlling and manipulative. We have given you advice on how to get out of this relationship, follow it or don't, you're in charge of your destiny.
geegirl Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 You ask how to get rid of the shameless dog and then you go to the theatre with him. You need to decide what you really want to do. You're giving him mixed signals if you are entertaining him. Maybe that's why he still bangs on your door.
carhill Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 This limbo land will only make him frustrated. Clarify your decision and communicate that by whatever means you feel is safe for you and then cease contact. 'I feel disrespected and even fearful of you. I can't live like this nor have relationships like this. I think it's best we go our separate ways.'
Audrina Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 This limbo land will only make him frustrated. Clarify your decision and communicate that by whatever means you feel is safe for you and then cease contact. 'I feel disrespected and even fearful of you. I can't live like this nor have relationships like this. I think it's best we go our separate ways.' And add "I've given this careful thought and consideration and am certain I will not change my mind."
Author Rafaela Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) Absolutely true, he disrespected me enough, he called me names that I never heard and if I doubt him I am a psycho. It doesn’t make sense for me either but because he kept saying that I am making it big deal I thought to share my story with you guys Even i dont have much experience but what is wrong is wrong in any culture and he knows how clean person I am that I am saving myself for a person who’s going to marry me and respect no matter what. You know how lucky I am right now that I don’t feel sorry about my broken heart? Let me share a secret with you guys even its shameful to mention to it but what I am about to say will be helpful for any girls came across my ad I am 22yrs old and still virgin and he was trying for the last couple months to convince me to have sex with him before any official engagement I refused for no reason even I love him to death but I had a strong feeling that something is not right and until I started thinking about it then I discovered this fake relationship I found out that none of his family really know about me and he was telling me that his parents say this about me and this just bull**** to shut me up, every time we decide to go see his parent he comes up with a story to fight, even his friends doesn’t know about me. That was my biggest shock of my life. I have no idea why he treated me like a crap I am a mature and very loving person also beautiful better than the girl that he used to hung out with he even called her respectful girl (lol she even smokes weed with him till mid night nd she got a boyfriend and he knows that she plays around too) while he called me B..tch (I don’t smoke, or drink or doing any bad habits) so i dont know how he said she respectful than me. I went to clubbing just few times, 7 times exactly (occasionally like birthdays or new years) with some girlfriends before knowing him and after he knew that my girlfriends weren’t that good friends to chill with he started comparing me to them, I even left them I know they used to play around but it’s not my business at least they were nice with me seriously what a nightmare Edited June 15, 2011 by Rafaela
punjabi.jatti Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 IMO, get rid of him. I can't stand a cheater. You put your trust in someone 100% for them to NOT do that exact thing. You will never be able to trust him that much again. I guarantee it. Your relationship will eventually go to **** because you will constantly think about if he is cheating on you again, or what he is doing. Find someone trustworthy. i checked your picture you seems such a hot chic i dont know why he had to chill out with another girl and gave her rides, i am sure so many dudes out there wanna take you out too he should realize that he got a beautiful virgin girl and faithful on the top of this, where he can find such a woman like you. i am proud of you that you kept your virignity because if he wants it he must marry you and respect you to have you 100% i was with my boyfriend for 3 years and i lost my virginity to him and now he doesnt want to marry me and when i asked him then why you had sex with me if you are not going to marry me, you know what he said? because i am only a bitch and if i didnt give it to him i would give it to someone else. i am suferring a lot with this douche-bag. even i have a male friend he is paki and he is really in love with me but i never tried to cheat on my punjabi bf because i love him but seems he doesnt care and he is always out clubbing with other chics
Author Rafaela Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 LoL what a Coincidence my Bf is punjabi and BTW the girl that he cheated on me with is punjabi too well maybe because she is from his culture thats y he got closer to her and i am sorry to hear your story its painful too especially after 3 years!! Wow i am still kind of confuse and wondering why my boyfriend is trying so hard to get me back, didnt he think that one day i will find out? its funny how men think they r smart in cheating business while women can fool 10 of them in a Second.
punjabi.jatti Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 this is hypocriticle i know that indian punjabi girls gone wid and very bad, you are not the only oen who complains about them, almost eveyrone who got closer to punjabi people, for a girl that smokes weed, getting rides even though she got a bf and still F** around? very shamless with no moral i am not agree about Indian parents turn a blind eye to this gross behaviour and yet listen to idle gossip about their own daughters and still theydo or say nothing they only get an aweful marriages to their sons and daughters i mean 90% of indian parents are still having this old wrong fashion mind and thats why we have so many divorced couples, cheating, drinking ... ect honestly i do admitte that punjabi men are very aggresive, throw abuse at any female who has an opinion thats why your boyfriend still after you, because you speak up for your rights and if that happen with any indian girl she will just shut up and wait for him to marry her, by accepting all the abuse from him, thats what i hate about relationships. i wouldn'y deny it my bf beats **** out of me and i am still with him, why because i love him very much but soon this is will be a memory buried in my past
punjabi.jatti Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 (edited) I think it's because Indian men are very insecure with their sexuality and with themselves. Why else would they worry that their wife had sex with someone else...because the other guy was bigger and better in bed? Because momma always told them they were No. 1 that they can't handle being anything else? I can understand if the girl was promiscious, but then so are tons of guys. Right? I am just so fed up with even the most useless Indian man(kind of an oxymoron as how many usefull ones are there?)screwing around with hookers and then going to India for his "virgin". And the funny part he will find out in wedding night that she is not. to save his family reputation he will have to accept her but believe me they treat them like crap Edited June 17, 2011 by punjabi.jatti
Author Rafaela Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Mmmm Seems you are right i have been taking his jerky behaviour for so long and he is such ungrateful person after all the Tender love, Energy, Time that i offered without expecting an appreciation back. he has no respect for me even in the public, i have no idea what i have done to him to deserve this or even hiding me from his ppl, now he calls me C.U.N.T because i have only 3 sexy langeries and i swear i got them 2 years ago before meeting him and i wear them for myself for nobody else and he knows what kind of person i am that i luv being looking good all the time in the house or outside and i really feel sorry for his stupidness because he is thinking only whores can wear lingeries, he doesnt know that every women got sexy underwears and lingeries. Jatti you are absolutely right about punjabi guys, i dont know about the others but this one is really an *******. just like the comment above says: would i accept and marry a man who got no respect for me? of course NOOOO. guys in his place waiting for chances and i never had thoughts in my mind to fool him, its just not my type. Jatti get a life my dear, dont be sorry about your virginity because its too late to worry about, have someone clean who's ready to love you for your personality not your body.
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