gpatb43 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Hi everyone - well I split with my girlfriend of 2 weeks ago, after a one night stand. We had planned marriage and children, everything was beautiful - and then I feel a bomb blew up in our faces. The cheating was bad enough, but when confronted, I tried to cover up the whole sorry mess and of course, that was the death knoll for the relationship. I am beside myself with anger, lost without my sweetheart, confused, hurting, struggling to breathe. I just cant comprehend going from a dream together one minute, to disaster and nothing the next. Of course, its a longer story than this - we dated for over 2 years, became incredibly close, but at time my behavior and mood swings were erratic and she grew increasingly concerned. Then this - she wrote me a huge long email describing her devastation, her loss, her hurt, and that despite that, she still loved me but could never trust me again and so, we had to pursue happiness apart - I nearly ended it right then, I was rescued by a friend. That was all 3 weeks ago - we has texted me occasionally with messages saying how hurt she is, asking if I understand, etc - to which I did respond - but ultimately its been a week now with NC and despite all my primal urges to text, email etc, I am respecting her wishes and pulling away. I am already in therapy and have discovered this 'flaw' in my behavior dates back to my childhood and the lack of love and protection I had, which leads me to struggle to trust anyone. Thats good I know so I can deal with it, but as you can imagine, dealing with that (the future) while struggling to get over the past, is a conflict in itself. This is all my fault, and I only have myself to blame for not addressing this 'flaw' earlier in my life. I just needed somewhere to post. I'll be back daily with updates for the benefit of others as well as myself.
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