2sunny Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 knowing what you do - stop giving her money. IF she wants her own place - let her figure out how to get it paid for. move money into your name only... and close any credit cards you have together. once she knows you know - don't be surprised to find her taking you for a ride. protect yourself and any assets... she's sneaky - and she's had time to plan - time to be smart about your future... and be sure you have ways to take care of your child. ask friends/family for help if you need to.
seibert253 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Wow,10 minutes after making my post, I found some interesting things. She has fallen for some guy from the new Orleans trip. Found a facebook conversation they had. They are planning a date for the weekend she moves out. Telling him how happy he makes her, and how she can't wait to get to know him better. She longs for him to hold her, makes me sick. I have been literally sick all day. I also found out she will be filing for divorce, and is getting a lawyer. What she doesn't know is I already have an appointment for Monday morning, and I'm filing. Trying not to let her know I know because it is the only way I know what she is planning. Also, the more dirt I get on her, the more ammo I will probably have. It is hard not to flip out. We are still living together and are married, and she is planning all this under my nose. Hate it when I'm right. Saw this coming after reading the first post. This is the tip of the iceberg my friend. Buckle up, your in for a bumpy ride. Sending prayers your way.
Mr.Harris Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Hate it when I'm right. Saw this coming after reading the first post. Yup. Already knew she was cheating after reading the first four paragraphs. It's pathetic and sad that almost every story in this section includes the poster finding out their spouse has been cheating for a considerable amount of time.
Author cphillips Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 Well i confronted her today, she didnt really seem to think it was that big of a deal. LOL. She said they have never even touched, how could she be a cheater. IMO she planned a date with another man while we were still married and i was committed to working it out. It isnt my fault i caught her before she actually had a chance to carry out her plans. She agreed to go to the lawyer with me monday, it looks like we agree on everything. It should be uncontested. This is making it easier for me to deal with our divorce, but deep down, it still isnt what i want. It appears it is still what she wants though. I have a feeling she will regret this one day, but i know she will never tell me.
robf1971 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Well i confronted her today, she didnt really seem to think it was that big of a deal. LOL. She said they have never even touched, how could she be a cheater. IMO she planned a date with another man while we were still married and i was committed to working it out. It isnt my fault i caught her before she actually had a chance to carry out her plans. She agreed to go to the lawyer with me monday, it looks like we agree on everything. It should be uncontested. This is making it easier for me to deal with our divorce, but deep down, it still isnt what i want. It appears it is still what she wants though. I have a feeling she will regret this one day, but i know she will never tell me. She's a f**k*ng liar. Pack her stuff in boxes, print out the facebook messages, stick them to the boxes. Tell her to pick them up before the garbage truck comes. This is the only way to deal with this. Check out Depressed in Denvers thread, he did this and it worked wonders.
Author cphillips Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) Well we met with the lawyer yesterday morning, all seemed to go pretty well. We agreed on everything and should be divorced Friday. Its crazy to think i am starting a week married and ending it divorced. Also, she still wont leave. We will be divorced and living together for about a month until she moves into her apartment. She is one cold heartless person, and she does a really good job making me feel like it is all my fault. I asked her today if she has cried once since all this started and she said no, that she doesn't feel any emotion right now. LOL, WOW! There is a nice kick in the face, and that isnt the only one. I start paying child support July 15th (if she is moved out) which is also our 5 year anniversary. I still cant believe this is happening to me, it wont really sink in until i see all her and my sons stuff packed up and going out the door. I cant eat, i have lost like 12lbs in 6 days. Its just not good right now, i dont have friends so i dont have a way to meet new people. Life just feels like it will never continue, but i know someday it will. Im sure people at work are sick of hearing about it, but they are the only people i have to talk to. LOL Edited June 21, 2011 by cphillips
carhill Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Wow, that's awesome. Took us 18 months to get divorced. Here in Cali, you can't get a judgment for six months, even if you agree and it is uncontested. IMO, over and done is a far healthier path. I remember my exW getting irritable that it was taking so long (she wasn't executing her portion properly and the court kept kicking it back) as she had a boyfriend she was moving into her house and I guess she wanted everything 'kosher' before doing that. Eh... Reconnect with friends and focus on you. She's dirt for now. I still have limited contact with my exW but she's nothing more than a distant acquaintance; mainly business stuff and news about prior marital friends and similar. You'll get there. Yeah, I remember the only time my wife cried during our M; it was when she thought I wouldn't fund her house. LOL. There's your sign. Good luck.
Mauschen Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 So why is she the one taking the kid? Just wondering why you're not fighting that more.
Author cphillips Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Illinois is a no fault State, so her starting a relationship while she was married cannot be used against her in court. Plus, in my area it just seems like you have to prove a women to be an unfit mother before you can even get close to getting the child. They really dont seem to side with the father unless the mother is on hard drugs or in jail, sometimes that doesnt even seems to matter here.
Mauschen Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 That is not always the case though, and since your wife and you seem to be deciding on things together, I'd ask for more time with your kid (if that's what you want). And even though her affair doesn't come into play with the divorce, it can certainly impact child custody. Do you want her having random men sleep over with your kid in the house? If not, then you need to write that into your custody agreement (keep in mind that this may affect you in the future too if you have a girlfriend though), and if she does have some dude stay overnight, then she'll be violating the court order. Judges do look at the parent's overall lifestyle. Don't agree to the divorce too soon - I know it is appealing to do so, but think about what you want deeply before you've signed on the dotted line.
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