justletgox51 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Please don't judge me for being young to be in this site, but 7 months ago I was very much heartbroken after an 11 month (on and off) relationship. I'm a sophomore high school student, and my ex is a junior. He was the one who broke the relationship, and was the one who broke it off in the past months of our relationship. We also go to the same high school. Nonetheless, I've made the decision to send him a brief letter via email regarding my final remarks. We haven't contacted each other after 3-4 weeks of our break up, so around 6 months of NC. He's transferring to a new high school because he's failing and behind in his studies (he's mainly popular because of sports and being social to everybody in the school). Anyway, I could have just confronted him for a brief talk personally but I was stressing over school/homework and the days of exams. Anyway, any feedback on this 'letter'? Hello [ex's name]! This is, [my name]. Frankly, I don’t know what else to put after that short introduction, but I guess a simple greeting of ‘hello’ will do. Nonetheless, I am very aware that this is unusual of me to communicate to you at this time (after months of silence), but I just want to say a few things. First and foremost, I heard you’re transferring to a new high school this upcoming September either to [high school name] or [high school name], and in that case, whatever school you’ll go to, I wish you luck. Hopefully, at your new school you’ll do better in regards to your studies. Furthermore, I just want to genuinely thank you for everything. By this I mean, I cannot express my gratitude enough for the decisions you have made. Your decisions, which I thought were terrible in the past, became a blessing in disguise. It has helped me grow up, emotionally and mentally. In addition, we’ve both changed dramatically throughout these months, and I've accepted it. I feel as if we both became wiser, smarter, and happier in life. Although, it is still awkward between us, due to our differences and past, hopefully one day we can look at each other without feelings of remorse, anger, sadness, hatred, etc. Also, to look back, with a smile and a laugh here and there with our memories (I know I am now). Nonetheless, I wish you all the best in luck with your future endeavors, and the journeys you’re going to partake in life. Bye-bye! Sincerely, [My full name] Thank you LS users for helping me move on!
PegNosePete Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Why do you feel the need to send him anything? What kind of response are you expecting (BE HONEST)? What will you think or do if you do not get the response you want? What will you think or do if you do not get ANY response at all?
Author justletgox51 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 I feel as if I need to send him something to diminish the awkwardness, and hatred we have with each other. I already know he has a certain big crush on some other younger and older girl, and I feel as if it's time to just erase all the hatred we have inside. Honestly, I'm fine if I don't get a response. However, a kind of response I expect would be a, "Yeah I agree with you, and thanks for giving me my space." But coming from him, I am 100% he's not going to respond as I really don't know if he ever checks his email account. I will think the same as I have been thinking the past 6 months of not being in contact with him if I don't get ANY response at all. I will still act happy (as in I've accepted the imperfections of my life) and I'm still going to pursue on my studies. It's because when he left, my grades went low but now I'm happy that he left for it motivated me to boost up my grades and I'm satisfied. "Keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." - Marilyn Monroe.
EgoJoe Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Then you're not over him AND you're setting yourself up for more hurt. Read my thread "Push for closure or find it for myself?" I actually just wrapped it up today for the sake of it. Start with the first post by me maybe read the first page, then read the last one. It's not a good idea. No matter your situation. Take the lesson FOR YOURSELF and just move on. PLEASE.
PegNosePete Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I feel as if I need to send him something to diminish the awkwardness, and hatred we have with each other. What awkwardness? If you're NC then why is it awkward? And if you want to diminish the hatred then just do so yourself. You don't need him to reciprocate, that is his business. I already know he has a certain big crush on some other younger and older girl So why do you want to potentially jeopardise his new relationship by sending a needy, emotional "letter from the ex"? Honestly, I'm fine if I don't get a response. However, a kind of response I expect would be a, "Yeah I agree with you, and thanks for giving me my space." Well if you're fine not getting a response, write the letter, send it [email protected] instead and there you go, same thing. What if you get the response "screw you I hate you and if I ever see you again it'll be too soon"? Would that diminish the hatred? Would you just go straight back to NC and lead a happier life? Seriously don't do it, it can serve no good.
Author justletgox51 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 EgoJoe and PegNosePete: thank you for your responses, I appreciate it very well. EgoJoe: I will certainly read your thread, and yeah I should just take my lesson to myself and move on. PegNosePete: Well if you're fine not getting a response, write the letter, send it [email protected] instead and there you go, same thing. What if you get the response "screw you I hate you and if I ever see you again it'll be too soon"? Would that diminish the hatred? Would you just go straight back to NC and lead a happier life? Seriously don't do it, it can serve no good. Honestly, I never thought about the response I might get that may come as what you have quoted, and now I feel as if I shouldn't send it. It's because I remember contacting him during a couple of weeks after the break up, and he told me it's too early to even talk to me or become his friend. I can't imagine what his response will be when he sees my email. I just thought to send him the email message because he seems as if he's happy now without me, and therefore maybe the two of us can diminish the hatred and anger we have inside us. Also, the awkwardness when we're both doing NC is that we see each other almost everyday, and whenever I'm with my friends and he's with his friends - it seems fine. However, if it's just me walking alone in the hallways, and I see him with a friend or two, or by himself... It gets awkward.
EgoJoe Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Don't bother. If he gets ahold of you then do so. Don't do it.
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