bikinibeach Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 ...So I realized that while I did miss the friendship of it, the physical aspect of my relationship with my ex was what i was hurting for the most. so i had sex with this guy i'd been a few dates on. i figured it would help me move on. nope. it was kind of horrible. boring. no emotions or feelings or intensity. i realized that it's not sex that i miss, it's sex and intimacy with my ex. then i started thinking about how the time i went nc on him for a week and saw him after that, he looked gaunt and worn. hadn't eaten or slept properly that whole time. i found myself wondering if he was all right. then feeling dumb for wondering that - he probably moved in with his ex or something. who the hell knows. i'm at the point where i'm able to step out and look at this objectively. it's almost been a week nc and the depressing feelings and anguish and what if's and unanswered questions and maybe maybe's have died off completely. completely. it has helped that i have not heard from him. i know how he thinks, last time we broke up, he reached out afte the nc period. this time, he will wait for me to contact him- which won't happen/. i feel good. only now this new guy really likes me and i want to do is crawl out of my skin and run away. he is a really good guy too though. just got out of a 3 year relationship. we both comiserated with each other then agreed to be cuddle buddies and bitch sisters until we got over our exes. now that we've slept together, oh i just want to run away. i miss being single.
wilsonx Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Then run away... dont settle... its not worth it I have had sex since my ex left me and you know what, it wasn't that good either and Im a guy. The best sex I ever had with her was the last night she was here... it was probably because she finally opened up and communicated with me and then went and slept on the couch Whats funny is that she told me that all of her rebounds were like you described, they were terrible and meant nothing...
light_vader Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Oh so you got a rebound. And maybe he did too. Maybe you both thought being on it would be a fix? But I guess it's more a temporary fix. But it's great to see your story. To be honest I kinda missed sex with my ex, and then since she's on a "get in the sack babe" spree... maybe I got jealous or something. But after all I understood yesterday. It's her damn life!!!! And she's not my problem anymore!!! Yes she can be banging more guys that she can count with the palm of her hand, she could be banging one, she could be at home just crying and feeling guilty, whatever she does, who cares? I just have to focus on myself... get a stronger mindset, and I'm sure at time someone else will cross paths with me... So I don't even think now of going to a whore... I'll have sex.. in time. So why don't you just be honest with the guy, before things get more serious? Something like letting him know you think it's a mistake, or just don't felt right about it, that you are not over your ex and you simply wanna be alone for a while to order your mind?
radiodarcy Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 i know what you mean. that's why i haven't had sex in close to a year now. i know it's only going to make me miss my ex more. even though i'm sure he's sexed up half a dozen women since then. *sigh* thank goodness i have toys ...
goldengirl11 Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) i know what you mean. that's why i haven't had sex in close to a year now. i know it's only going to make me miss my ex more. even though i'm sure he's sexed up half a dozen women since then. *sigh* thank goodness i have toys ... Hi radiodarcy - this is my first post on here ever! Just to say that I am totally relating to your post! Also that I too have had rebound sex - twice with different men (not after different relationships). Didn't do me any good!! Perhaps if I'd have got to know them better it may have helped though. I was just trying to feel more... appreciated I guess at the time. Edited June 16, 2011 by goldengirl11
radiodarcy Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 hi goldengirl! welcome to LS! yeah - - i know what you mean. i think the only thing that kept me from looking for a rebound myself was years of therapy and self-reflection. that and i'm a late bloomer. i only lost my virginity two years ago at the age of 33. had i been younger i probably would have turned to a rebound too. although i did sort of hook up with one other guy during the two and a half years my ex was stringing me along. we didn't have sex but we did other stuff. but i never heard from him again. so once i made the decision to go NC, i decided that i wasn't going to hook up with anyone unless i got to know them better. being dumped hurts enough as it is. no point in adding meaningless sex to the mix and making myself feel worse. i can understand the appeal in a rebound though. it's a quick fix to the loneliness and frustration and like you said -- it makes you feel appreciated. but once the sex is over, it's over :\
Recommended Posts