TomerT Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Hi all, You were all very helpful here, I think I may some advice here.... My ex-cheating-gf keep calling me. First time she called (out of nowhere) about 1.5 months ago, after 7 month of complete no contact - I didn't answer. then last week two times - it was hard but I ignored. Today she just called again three times (the last time from her friend phone ). I ignored all of them. I already made piece with myself about what happened, but to be frank, my heart start pumping like a crazy when I saw her name on my phone (3 times today !) My question is what do you think she wanted ? Didn't she get last week that I am not interested to talk with her (which is not completely true - cause I am interested, but I want her to come and look into my eyes and not hide behind the phone). But even if this what she planned to do, why then she just not simply send me a sms message or write an email an explain what she wanted ? Why insist calling me ? Should I call her back ? When we were together, I promised her to be her good friend no matter what. May be something happened and she really needs my help ? I don't know what to think. A short summary: about 10 months ago she left to vacation to her home country, when I came to meet her in the airport she came back pregnant with her ex-bf. We didn't talk since then. I tried to reach her in the first 2 weeks, but her new (old) bf didn't allow her to communicate with me. Only once she called me hiding from public toilet crying and saying that she is sorry (still not sure about what)...I even don't know if she kept the baby... Your advice on the situation will be very appreciated... Link to post Share on other sites
guccimane99 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 She cheated on u then had her ex's baby. Dude i know u love her but she doesnt respect u because she cheated on u. Remember that "SHE CHEATED ON U." Best thing to do is to move on and be happy that she isnt in ur life. Link to post Share on other sites
RIO5 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Whatever you do...stay away. Remember she committed the ultimate sin by cheating on you. You deserve better than that! Once they cheat...they are out FOREVER!! If she misses you...thats TOO BAD! Someone else can give you everything that you ever wanted without cheating on you. She is out there, you just gotta find her. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Badenov Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Things didn't work out with her ex & now she regrets it. Just remember: She's not calling you for your sake, but for HER sake. Link to post Share on other sites
joshislost Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Things didn't go as planned and hopes you will be around for her and her kid. Don't do it man its a trap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TomerT Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 Thank you all. I know there is no chance we are going to be together...Even just for sex I find her "repulsive" (and before I thought she is most beautiful girl in the world, I was going to sleep with her photo..) I am just curious what she really wants...and if she really wants to say something important, much easier would be just send me a message or email...I am not talking right me a letter...Even from her point of view - it is less intimidating... Link to post Share on other sites
Author TomerT Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 So, after about 10 her attempts, I send her a message: "Give me one reason, shy should I answer your call".... I was amazed be her reply: "I am sorry, but I don't think that's only my fault.Anyway, I hope you forgive me. I just wanna know how are you now"... We didn't talk almost 10 months, she even didn't explain to me what, why and how all this mess happened, she just disappeared from my life and the first thing she still can not take responsibility for her actions and continue blame me for her cheating. Apparently, I was right when I thought she has BPD: http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a109.htm. Anyway, she asked my permission to call, I agreed and we talked about 10 minutes, mostly about nothing. Her first two question were whether I live in the same place and whether I have a gf (make me thing..."hm... ?")... 3 weeks ago she had the baby. Which amazed me even more than she so insistingly called me only 3 weeks after the birth of her child. I would think that her full attention should be her family and recovery (she underwent cesarean section). I asked if she finally happy with her husband, she told me "all the same, fighting all the time, I don't know what is going on to be with us"... I mean, wtf ? You have two kids from him - and you still don't know ? Also when I asked what if he knows that she called to me, she laughed and said: "Don't worry, he won't know, I delete all my calls and msgs". Someone who said "Once a cheater always a cheater" was right. But the real "pinnacle" came at the end, when she told me: "Pls don't txt or call me to this phone, cause I don't want to have fight with him, I will call u from my sister phone when I want to say 'Hi' ". It's like I some kind of toy for her... Frankly, I am releifed now, I know she has a baby, her life is miserable and she is thinking about me all the time. I decided I will never answer her calls again, that's for sure. But I do feel better, honestly. I don't need to guess now. Your comments on this much appreciated. The most intriguing part that I don't understand is why a girl, 3 weeks after a birth will call to her ex and blame him for her cheating and all the consequences that came after ? What did she expect to hear ? Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Post-partem? you were a nice guy? and maybe she wanted an ego boost? I would text that phone and say, don't call me ever unless the first words out of your mouth are going to be, "I am at fault." Then block etc. anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
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