kalena9488 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I am an intelligent, self-sufficient woman. But, when it comes to my semi-ex BF I never know what I want. One minute I want him to move back in and be back in my life but the next I don't want to see him anymore. We had been seeing each other for two years. We lived together for about a year and a half. Just he and I. We both have kids but they didn't live with us. We had problems with him paying his share of the expenses, then it was pot so I asked him to move out in Dec. Now in April he gets full custody of his two kids. A daughter 14 and a son 11 plus he has another that is 8 that lives not to far from here with her mom and visits every other weekend and a month in the summer. My son is 14 and lives quite a ways from me and comes for a month in the summer and sometimes at holidays. I do care about him and I do like his kids but I have already given him 2 years of my life where the only thing that bothered me was he lied to me over and over. I am against drugs but sometimes think if he would have just been honest with me and lived in my house by my rules as far as it being here that I might have been able to over look it. Now of course he claims he doesn't do it anymore and he now realizes how much he had and he wants that back. And he wouldn't risk it again because of me and now of course his kids. I am honest afraid to trust him and that I will get stuck paying all the bills again and fighting over the drugs. Then I'd have him and his kids here and that would be really hard to ask them to leave. He keeps telling me I just need to trust him. But, I don't think I can. My problem is that I am semi-comfortable with him though and really don't want to be back in the dating scene etc. I'm not interested in going through everything again. I just don't know what to do. He wants me back and everytime I consider it something always happens to make me realize that I shouldn't. I think I just need to end it and move on and it doesn't really matter what the reasons are. I also don't really want to raise anymore kids. I mean I have my son and if he wanted to live with me that would be great. But, his kids have been through alot and I don't think I want the responsibility. He has a job but no medical insurance and no retirement. I'm retired from the military and have a good job. I think it's only because I have something decent to offer him. What do ya'll think???????
Author kalena9488 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 Homebrew, he has a job it's just not a great one. You're right though, I know if I really wanted one I could have a much better one. Maybe I really do need to consider just being single.
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