Timbo22 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 5 Months since the break-up and about 1 1/2 months NC which I broke last week because she had tried adding me on FB for the 2nd time... I basically said what do you want? aren't you having fun with your new bf? If you have something to say, say it. Well she didn't reply... Well yesterday was one of the worst days of my life, I got laid off a good paying summer job. I desperately need the money for school and my apartment... I went out to lunch with a friend and locked my keys in my car, because I wasn't thinking clearly... I was stranded for 4 hours, trying to get them unlocked. Finally a guy came out and had a tool to unlock almost any car thank god. As soon as he unlocked it my ex gf and some guy pull in together and go to eat...My heart sunk and I just looked at her like I had you for 3 1/2 yrs unreal. sure enough Facebook Confirms in it all, shes in a relationship... This girl was crazy for me, as was I. She told me she loved me 1st... She was always the one saying she felt like she was on another level. Then all of a sudden just like that throws it all away. She planned marrying me, and already started talking about where and when. She goes to one of the best colleges around and shes about to turn 21, It's so funny because the guy is just as short as her and he thinks hes a little white gangster, Totally not her type at all? gigs idk... I just wanted to go knock his teeth in but I cant as a train for MMA and im 6'4 215 and hes about 5'6 160 so it really wouldn't have been much of a fight plus I would not be able to train ever again. I'm not worried about finding the right girl or meeting chicks, Ive actually have had a ton since the break-up to take my mind of things... But it really does not help at all. I actually let it become worse, by thinking its her or wondering why all these girls want me but her... I don't think Ill ever stop loving her, she was my 1st love. In the end I want her to be happy, It's funny cause Ive told her that but I dont think she believes me when I said it...mainly because she wanted to be my friend after the break-up and she strung me along awile by running into me at a party and making out with me only to run off again... She may be rotten and cruel for what she did to me, I guess Im just a sucker for believing every lovely dovely thing she ever told me and falling in love with her flaws. Im trying to hold my head up I just have all this free time now and its making it a whole lot worse... It actually feels like day one again where i can hardly eat or sleep. I never thought I could be this weak, but when you love someone as much as I did you will probably understand.... I have pretty much hit rock bottom, so I guess there is nowhere to go but up right?
radiodarcy Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 ugh! sorry to hear about that. finding out your ex is with someone else is the worst! i've heard some people say that it give them closure but for me - - all it would do is take me back to day one. not to mention, i'd be obsessing over the gory details long after. for the record i don't know if my ex has a new girl or not. i'd just rather assume that he does that see it for myself - -on facebook or real time. on the plus side - - you're right you have hit rock bottom. things will get better but you have to make them better. and you've already started doing that by going NC. yesterday was a crappy day, no doubt. and while seeing your ex w/ that other guy may have felt like going back to day one of the break up - - you didn't. it was a setback. and those happen to all of us. i'm in three months NC and had a meltdown last week. nothing triggered it really but i just got tired of being so strong and upbeat while he gets to cruise around town with his new girl as though he doesnt have a care in the world. but after i let everything out i felt a lot better. and you will too. if your ex does have gigs, well - -like you said it's her issue. the fact that you are taking steps to move on in a more healthy manner (by concentrating on your own interests and posting here on LS), instead of jumping into another relationship shows that you are dealing with this much better than she is. so just keep doping what your doing; concentrate on finding another job (which i'm sure you're doing now) and next time you train for MMA, just pretend your opponent is your ex's new guy
smudge21 Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 You have to hit the bottom before you can climb to the top. It's so true. I've felt low and each time it feels like it's worse, but the more I hear about the ex (and her upcoming marriage) the more I realise that coffin is being buried and soon it will be totally 6 feet under. I know I'll be in a bad place during that time, but I'll also be ready to start climbing that mountain again. I think we all fool ourselves into thinking we're healed yet one little thing happens and we feel low again. I too had the ex send a friend request. Just that little thing set me back so far, so I understand your pain. Stick with the NC and understand you will have bad days until you're finally ready to move on. It's funny you mention the new guy being not her type - I could say the same thing. My ex is simply stunning and her fiance is, well, he's been referred to as Shrek a few times put it that way. It's funny too that even though they're getting married, there's not one picture of them two together on her FB. Basically what will happen for us both is eventually we'll be over our ex's and better for it. They'll be stuck with guys that clearly don't measure up to us (yeah, I am being big headed, think I've deserved that right) and if it is a case of GIGS then maybe they'll come crawling back... but it will be too late. You've made your bed love, now sleep in it... with your short-a** ugly boyfriend! Stay strong mate - it does get better. Always.
sunshine103 Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Sounds like GIGS and a rebound guy to me! Hang in there, I know it's tough. Kicking his teeth in will get you nowhere and the outcome will be the same for her and the other guy. They will still be together and you will probably land in jail. SHE IS NOT WORTH IT! Don't go for that friendship crap. It never works! It all or nothing for me!!! She just wants to string you along and keep you on the sidelines, just in case. Time will heal your wounds, Timbo. You're doing great with NC. Just keep it going and stay busy. Take a trip somewhere, go visit family that you haven't seen in a while, etc... Just stay busy!
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