ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 So I'm friends with this girl I've known for awhile now. Very cool, fun to hang out with. She is engaged btw. Anyways - since she's engaged in my head there's a huge "off limits" sign. There have been a couple times though that have made me wonder if she's being a little flirty with me (and she's not an AW, at all; she's a very genuine person, very personable, not that kind of girl) There was one time everyone met up at my place to go out. Everyone else left as I was grabbing a couple things and she stayed behind. I was like "okay you ready?" and she says "yeah, in a minute" - we talk for a bit in my place - then she gives me a semi-long hug, and then we walk out. Over the weekend I was asking some people if they wanted to grab dinner, and they all said no. She said "I just ate a bit ago, but I'll go with you" We go out, have a nice meal, she pays for me (really surprised). She was extra touchy feely with me when we ate, hand on my arm, hand on my chest, etc. Not like that with other people I've seen her with. I get this feeling that there's 'something in the air' when we're together. Almost like she wants me to kiss her. I don't think I would (she is incredibly hot, thus the "think" part), but I definitely get that vibe. thoughts?
smudge21 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I've made mistakes with girls who are involved, engaged, boyfriends still around but it's not working out, etc etc. You have to be careful as it's so easy to fall for someone when they're being so nice, yet the warning signs are there, so take notice of them. You don't know her situation so you need to play it safe. Some people (men and women) often get married out of need or safety or any reason other then love, so they seek that elsewhere. For all you know, this could be the same situation. She's still going to get married, but wants something she's not getting from home. Doesn't matter how awesome you are, she will still always go back to her fiance because he's her rock, her reliable companion. As you can tell I've been there and suffered so I'm just putting my thoughts across. This girl is in a serious relationship and therefore do you really want to get involved. Maybe the polite thing to do is simply wait until the flirting is so obvious and then say "if only you were single..." and back off. Nothing worse then wanting something you can never have... this place is full of people suffering that!
Finch Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 She's engaged, so whether she's flirting or not is really moot. Maybe she's not happy in her relationship, or maybe she's just naturally a more open and flirty-seeming person. But your first thought was right - the point is she is in a relationship with someone else. Doesn't mean you can't be friends, but I would advise that if the flirtatious behavior keeps up you simply do not respond to it. Just treat her as you would any friend.
alphamale Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I get this feeling that there's 'something in the air' when we're together. trust me, there is nothing "in the air"
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 It would be very hard to resist the temptation if any opportunity presented itself. I'm not "in love with her" or "in like with her," because she's engaged. If she wasn't, then I'd probably see if there was something there. She's really hot, lol (very sexy too). Anyways - I was just wondering if she's flirting. Kind of a compliment really. I'm talking to 5 other girls (thanks match), somehow, lol - really I was just wondering if she was flirting (whether innocent or not) - that's all, lol
carhill Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 thoughts? She likes that you think she's hot and aren't pawing her. Time and experience will help you separate the dynamic from the person, in this case meaning she likes the kind of attention you give her; you, the person, are generally irrelevant. BTDT, many, many times. The difference between her and an emotional vampire is that she reciprocates and is proactively generous, rather than just sucking the life out of you. That said, if you fell off the face of the earth tomorrow, it would be no big deal to her. She'd miss the attention and your kindness, but someone else will come along to take that position. The really odd thing IME is that women like her, as well as emotional vampires, send out a lot stronger 'flirting vibes', and even overt sexual behaviors, than any of the women I've had LTR's with or been married to. I wonder if that's instructive
oaks Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 thoughts? She's flirting with you. She's engaged. Either call her out or enjoy it, just be very careful about flirting back (ie, generally, don't flirt back).
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) OK. thanks for the advice. I don't act differently with her than I do with anyone else by the way. I don't give her any special attention. She's increasingly been that way with me? She's the one providing the kindness and attention. We're actually friends as well, so I think if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow, it'd matter a little bit lol. I'm not "ohh i want to take you away from your fiance" lol. I think she's hot and I'd definitely provide an awesome few hours - but this isn't a thought that consumes me for more than a couple seconds when it happens (and only posting the topic now for clarity reasons) Edited June 14, 2011 by ConfusedGuy28
Feelsgoodman Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 So I'm friends with this girl I've known for awhile now. Very cool, fun to hang out with. She is engaged btw. Anyways - since she's engaged in my head there's a huge "off limits" sign. There have been a couple times though that have made me wonder if she's being a little flirty with me (and she's not an AW, at all; she's a very genuine person, very personable, not that kind of girl) Sorry, but I have to roll my eyes here . Every girl is an attention whore to some degree (though some are more clever as to how they go about getting this attention). Over the weekend I was asking some people if they wanted to grab dinner, and they all said no. She said "I just ate a bit ago, but I'll go with you" We go out, have a nice meal, she pays for me (really surprised). She was extra touchy feely with me when we ate, hand on my arm, hand on my chest, etc. Not like that with other people I've seen her with. I get this feeling that there's 'something in the air' when we're together. Almost like she wants me to kiss her. I don't think I would (she is incredibly hot, thus the "think" part), but I definitely get that vibe. thoughts? Want to know for sure? Arrange for a situation that involves privacy and alcohol and see where that leads. Of course, getting involved with an engaged woman presents a number of potential problems, but I'm not here to give you a lecture on morals.
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