lawlz_xD Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 So...3 weeks of NC, and I find out from my best friend, who is also best friends with my ex (who was also my best friend), that she is going through a phase of depression. She feels so much regret for all the things she did to me and other guys in the past year. She talked to other guys and led them on but in the end stuck with me; kissed another guy while being with me; asked the guy she used to like to her Junior Prom instead of me; and went to MY Senior Ball with someone else; spent 95% of her time with her friends and not me, etc. etc. On top of that, her uncle is about to pass away due to terminal cancer and her father isn't taking it very well (they were close brothers). Anyways, so my best friend tells me that she needs help and how my ex tells her all the time how much she misses me and how much I understood her and so, my best friend gives her my number and she contacts me. I am quick to setup an appointment in person because I hate texting/phone calls. Before we broke up, I promised her that one day I would come back as her best friend, one day, and she held onto that promise and was expecting me to come back. During the meetup, we talked in a park and we talked about her situation at home and she said she felt a lot better being/talking with me about it. And than she asked if I was coming back to her (as a best friend). I told her that I can't because simply, I still love her and it wouldn't be fair to either of us if we had a friendship while I still have all these feelings. What would happen if she liked someone else while I still loved her? What would happen to me than? I asked her if she'd be ok with me dating someone right now and she said no. So she understood what my position was. At this point, she knew that I wasn't coming back and she started bawling her eyes out. I told her that we were both losing something very important to us. She was losing her best friend and I was losing the person I love. She than said that she still loved me and hasn't moved on yet and she apologized for all the horrible things she did to me this past year. I was smiling throughout the whole conversation and I said that it's ok because she's a different person now and it doesn't matter who she was in the past, it matters who you are now. Towards the end, we held hands and she said she missed this and she told me she still loved me, even though she didn't show it that much, and she said that she will always love me and I will have a special place in her heart because I changed her into a better person. So that's it fellas...it hurts. We love each other so much but aren't together. Our last meeting brought us closure and there are no more negative feelings about the past but how do you cope with this? P.S. Yes, I have began NC again.
Karala Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I'm in a bit similar situation : ex admitting to still loving me, amicable parting and having had closure - there are not many people on this board who were lucky enough to have it that easy. Many people have been betrayed and hate their ex. I think it helps to remind yourself that you're very lucky to have had the chance to talk things through, get closure and know that your ex still cares about you. The thing is, you also gotta remember that however much they might care for you, THEY DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU. The love that is still there should not be fooling you into thinking the relationship is not over, because it is over. Remember - your relationship is like this parrot (this is my new motto) Find comfort in the memory of her telling you that you will always be in her heart and that she made you a better person. This is precious! And then, stick to NC and start the moving on process... As to how to cope, we're all in the same boat, this board helps a lot... Many people here come back after a few months to tell about how they've moved on and are feeling much happier now, and hopefully we will all make it through stronger and happier than before! Hang in there!
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