ooopnut4 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 So i met this girl through my younger brother..shes 20 im 25 she came to my house for party..hit it off spent the rest of the night together had sex first night. She asked if i would call after I told her of course i would, so i waited a few days made plans for the following weekend. met her at her friends house drank there for a lil then she said lets get outta her go to your house.. we did, drank together all night til the morning, sex again and we talked all night about how much we like eachother and how great this could be. Shouldnt have told her I like her a lot too because the following day we were supposed to talk about our plans for sunday but i got a text saying that whatever happened with us was way too much and im not ready for all these feelings and such. I like you too much i dont want to get attatched and wanna hang out with you all summer. So she wanted to cut it off before now instead of when she goes back to school in 3 months. few states away.. but then she said she'd still love to see me sometimes as long as it didnt involve too much, like once a week. so I said ok can you do that? she said shed sleep on it and definitely call me tomorrow. 2 days and i havent heard from her. Should I leave it alone and wait to hear from her or should i Text her and tell her I wasnt looking for anything serious either blah blah. Or am i screwed already..
smudge21 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Sounds like she just wants some fun during summer. If you're okay with that, then just go with it. I'd wait for her to call though as to me it seems she's worried you're too interested, so by playing it cool it may (note the word 'may' there) make her more interested... if you get me. Either way, I wouldn't expect too much from this other then a friend with benefits.
Author ooopnut4 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 YeAh but the thing is is that she lead me to believe she wanted more that's the only reason I pushed it a lol more. She said shes been tellin her mom about me can't wait for her to meet me and for us to go on a real date. I'd like to at least get a chance to explain myself and maybe even just get the friend with benefits. You think the only way now is to just leave it alone play it cool and wait? Girls confusing may be to young I guess. I just thought we hit it off so well
smudge21 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Like you say, it's confusing. No matter what advice you get on here, there's a good chance the exact opposite will happen. Only you can know what you want to do and what feels best for you. The fact you both got it on so quickly and now she's backing away a bit is a tad confusing too. I'd still back off a little, let her come to you this time. If she hasn't within a week, send her a polite text, something casual like "got no plans this weekend, would be great to see you, x". But like I said, every situation is different and you really don't know much about this girl so all you can do is what you feel is right. If it all goes wrong, at least you can always say you gave it your best shot.
Author ooopnut4 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 Yeah I guess. I'm thinking too wait til at least after the weekend. Wish we didn't put all that **** out there so fast lost all the mystery and I put the ball in her court. On the other hand I wanna text her and say hey don't know how things got so serious so fast thought we were just having fun. Call me when u wanna hang out again. I'd rather get last word cuz it sucks waiting can't stop thinking about it. Shes made me confused too!
smudge21 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 No, don't bring up the line about things getting serious as that will remind her that things got serious. Just leave it until the weekend and if no response, reply back with something basic. Call me when you wanna hang out is a bit open ended, you want to be casual about it but also set a time limit, like I'm free on a certain day or I'm away next week but we can do something tomorrow for example.
USCGAviator Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Smudge is right. Play everything cool and casual with her. If she expresses how much she likes you...again play it cool. Don't agree and fall all over her. She wants to chase you, not be drooled over like the boys her age do to her.
Author ooopnut4 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 Yeah you guys are right thanks. If she actually did have feelings I should here from her..if I don't then screw it I'll prob just get hurt eventually..I'll wait til next week and and say hey I'm free on Friday if you're not doing anything. Don't here from her then I'll give up. I know exactly what to do now if I just get a chance..it's not supposed to be easy I guess. Wish we never talked about all that stuff cuz I had her all over me before that day.
Author ooopnut4 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 So now I get a text at 4am last night saying she needed a ride or some bull**** didn't respond then today another text apologizing because she sent it to everyone in her phone and it was outta line. So I just wrote back lol no big deal. Half hour later I said what u up to tonight she said nothing gotta get good night sleep for something she has to do tomorrow. I said oh yeah I remember you talked about that sounds like a fun weekend.. Hour later she says yeah should be fun but exhausting. I havent wrote back should I continue conversation cuz now she knows I still wanna hang. Or just leav it at that? I ran into a mutual friend they said she's crazy and thinks every guy wants her and ****. Don't know how to play this now. I wanna be straight up like am I gonna see you again or not cuz this is annoying to me now..
Nexus One Posted June 17, 2011 Posted June 17, 2011 I guess it's a rhetorical question, but couldn't she have told you she didn't want anything serious before you guys slept (twice) with each other? Suppose you would have been looking for something serious, then she would have basically used you for some quick fun while having stringed you along. As in her saying; "Thanks for shagging me, k thx bye!", I.e. The fact that she could have given you the wrong idea and stringed you along is irrelevant to her. In my opinion things should be clear before sex comes into the picture. People aren't toys.
Author ooopnut4 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 Yeah even if it was just a one time drunk thing I wouldn't have cared..but then it happened again so I figured it was more.. Ah whatever now I havent heard from her so I'm not even gonna bother. I just hope I don't get something random again and have to think about it. Corny stuff
Author ooopnut4 Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 I keep thinking about her still so I think tomorrow I'm Gonna shoot her a text to ask to hang out Friday. Not sure how to word it though. Was gonna ask if she wanted to come over Friday after work but I dunno if I should ask her to hang out alone. Any women's opinions?
oaks Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) I think tomorrow I'm Gonna shoot her a text to ask to hang out Friday. Why not ask her out on a date to do something more specific than just 'hang', especially if you're trying to find out if she's interested in more than just sex. Oh, and use your vocal cords rather than your thumb. Edited June 21, 2011 by oaks typo
Author ooopnut4 Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 That's exactly what I wanna do but I don't wanna scare her off again.. And I'd rather call you're right. Just afraid she won't pickup lol!
Recommended Posts