Not Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I met this girl at work a few months ago, she's just amazing. I actually fell head over heels in love with her before we spoke. The thing is I don't know what to do or how to do It. We talk, she always, always comes upto me at work or at the mall we text an facebook chat regularly and it's a really well flowing conversation each time. I always feel I'm making the first contAct via text or fb though and she always seems to take time replying Whig is just confusing seeing as how willing she is to talk in person. I dunno guys, it's been over 3 years since I've actually 'liked' a girl, it was grade 9 I think. Ever since then I've concentrated on hook ups so I don't know how to go about this. I don't want her to be a hook up, I just want a really good relationship to develop. Its strange how one person cab change you. Any help orbideas on iow to proceed? I'm really struggling at the moment, all I think about is her, thanks
smudge21 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I'm guessing she's single and there's no other guy on the scene? Confirm all that as you don't want to make my mistake - that really sucks! Have you actually been out together at all, not a date, just to see a film or something to eat, just the two of you? Maybe that's a way to get things moving. I wouldn't bombard her with how you feel but in the same sense I wouldn't be quiet or shy about it if she asks or even starts showing signals that she too is interested. Personally I'd enjoy these times; the build up to something good. It can be so exciting, especially when it leads to that first kiss.
Author Not Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 She's single, But she seems kinda flirty. I just don't know. No, not yet. But I have had alot of one on one time with her and Built rapport. I was thinking of not releasing the whole 'this is why I like you' thing anytime soon. But I really dint know what to do. It's doing my head in
smudge21 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Ask her out! Get talking about a new film and offer to take her, no pressure. Suggest a drink after work, coffee or something similar. Be careful though with falling for work colleagues - do remember that you have to see them every day. I would definitely suggest keeping it slow, letting things build at an easier pace. Oh and when she flirts, flirt back. Learn how to respond in kind, but don't be too eager. She already likes you as you are now, so don't start changing and becoming the love sick puppy dog just yet (easier said then done when you have feelings for someone).
Author Not Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 You dint understand how much I appreciate this advice, thank you. Yeah that's one of the things holding me back, if it doest gontonplan, work will be a nightmare. Sometimes I feel as though she may not just be interested in me, she seems to act the same around all guys. I might ask her out I don't know, but yeah definitely not acting eager, I'm kinda doing the opposite.
smudge21 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Keep it friendly for now. Just be with her as she is to you. If she flirts, flirt back. With work you need to take it slowly as no one wants to have a reputation going around an office, so show her you are after more than just something quick.
smudge21 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Oh yeah, the friend zone. I think you're okay at present, but don't play it too cool that she starts to think you only want to be a friend. I think the fact there's flirting going on is good. Sadly dating is not an exact science. There's no fixed rules to say you should play it cool for two dates, and kiss on the third, blah blah blah. Everyone's different. You just have to judge situation and hope you made the right call.
Author Not Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Oh, I hate thefriend zone. Thanks guys. I guess j just gotta think some more
ivalm Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Oh, I hate thefriend zone. Thanks guys. I guess j just gotta think some more If she has been very friendly with you, you really like her a lot, and you feel something special then you should ask her out. It's scary but trust me, it'll be OK. Even if she rejects you, you can pretend as nothing happened and things will calm down quickly. More likely, IMHO, she will not reject you and will probably go at least on a few dates.
Author Not Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 To be honest, I don't even care anymore. I'm sick of initiating conversation and I'm just over it in general. I plan to just ignore her, although the only time she seems to talk to me is when j see her but I don't even care. Thanks for the help anyway, but I think I'm just angry or something but whatever.
oaks Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I actually fell head over heels in love with her before we spoke. Not the best of starts! To be honest, I don't even care anymore. I'm sick of initiating conversation and I'm just over it in general. I plan to just ignore her, although the only time she seems to talk to me is when j see her but I don't even care. So you didn't even ask her out? Well, that's a fail.
Author Not Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 Not the best of starts! So you didn't even ask her out? Well, that's a fail. I don't even want to anymore, she seems like she musts uses guys or she's one of those girls that know they're hot and use it to their advantage.
oaks Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 So you went from "all I think about is her" to not wanting anything to do with her in less than 24 hours, during which time nothing substantial happened? I think she lucked out there.
Author Not Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 So you went from "all I think about is her" to not wanting anything to do with her in less than 24 hours, during which time nothing substantial happened? I think she lucked out there. I still think about her. But I just don't care anymore. I guess I've kinda figured out what she's really like in 24 hours. She acts the same around all guys, (flirty somewhat slutty) and that's not what I'm after if I want a relationship.
fashionista Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I still think about her. But I just don't care anymore. I guess I've kinda figured out what she's really like in 24 hours. She acts the same around all guys, (flirty somewhat slutty) and that's not what I'm after if I want a relationship. Wow. That's a switch. Unless something major happened in that 24 hours, maybe you shouldn't write her off just yet. I sympathize with you cuz I'm in a situation where I really want to be with this guy and don't know if he even wants to initiate anything more with me. I hope it works out for you.
Author Not Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 Wow. That's a switch. Unless something major happened in that 24 hours, maybe you shouldn't write her off just yet. I sympathize with you cuz I'm in a situation where I really want to be with this guy and don't know if he even wants to initiate anything more with me. I hope it works out for you. Thanks. Yeah it sucks, but I think it's best for me to ignore it or whatever, hope everythings good for you too
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