LjHappyDays Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Hi All, Up until sunday ther was NC - i saw my ex out and he talked to me at the bar said how fit i looked and how much he wanted to f**k me, He said he misses me etc, i didnt fall for it i told him - 'Just cos youve had a drink and this is the first time youve seen me out and im talking to other guys you want me' I must say i was flattered and i thought 'ha-ha new you would want me' anyway he came to the pub i was in later and we went outside - He was saying how me misses me etc, (not in a slimy way) just saying it and then he tried to kiss me loads!!! Anyway i didnt kiss him back i told him to get off me. That hes only feeling like this cos he saw me out. BUT i went back to his, and you no it happened! - I dont no what i want any of you to say.... cos hes not creepy and i didnt think 'oh if i sleep with him its all gunna be a lovely ending' i did want him yes, but not for anything else. Anyway ive text him today becos when we slept together he was like 'ohh we can just be f**k buddies' However after thinking about it i have text him saying 'this was the wrong thing to do, we cant have meaningless sex, cos we were together and in love and its just gunna bring all them feelings back' He agreed with me on this. But what i hope is that he is shocked that im not gunna be there - I NO i gave in and IM SORRY!! BUT it made me kind of feel he still thought me attractive ... if that makes sense. Im pretty sure that this is the closure i need, cos he saw me out and wanted me straight away - which makes me think he thinks this break up isnt the end, But i think it is..... Ive been very very upset and i think now its his turn. Im never going to get over him at least for a few months i no im not, but he has claimed he wnts this. I also text him saying we basically used eachother which was wrong becos we hurt eachother. I think i liked it bcos he was paying me attention. And it made me feel like he still wanted me... i dont no why im writing this, but it feels good to get it out in the open, i no you guys will have some helpful advice although i dont no what i want to hear.. i no i shouldnt have , but im not crying over it i just feel it was wrong to do, and we both took advantage of eachother. I think my point is that i thought he wouldnt want me again and soon as he sees me thats it he wouldnt leave me alone.
Author LjHappyDays Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Oh absoloutely i no i need to - i dont think i did that night. I didnt have the confidence to say no this is wrong. I felt mean, i think i needed the reasurrance of him wanting me. Made me feel wanted.... Stupid i no. this will never hapen again and i think im right in telling him so...!
Mack05 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) An extract from a book I am reading.. "Continuing a physical relationship after giving up the committed relationship and its inherent respondsibilities is a prescription for trouble. Do not buy into "friends with benefits" scenarios. Benefits must have corresponding respondsibilites and if they don't you are using each other. So stop it and grow up. There is no such thing as "friends with benefits". There is only friends who have no idea what they're doing to the detriment of themselves and each other. Don't do it with your ex or anyone else for that matter. Conduct your life with dignity, and don't give away anything unless the person you're giving it to takes some responsibility toward you, especially if he or she is an ex lover. If it's dead bury it. Don't sleep with it" I agree with Ego its about respecting yourself and behaving with dignity and class. It's clear to me using the language that he used with you, that he no longer respects you. No way in hell I would talk to a girl like that, whom I respect. I know that must be hard to hear, but sadly some guys are very sneaky. Two things here 1) Do not beat yourself too much over this. Each and everyone one of us have made mistakes. The key is to learn from the mistakes and not beat yourself up and give yourself too hard a time. 2) It's time to go NC and stick to it. You deserve a man the treats with with love and respect, not a man that wants to be f&*&& buddies because he is drunk and horny. You are far better than this and deserve far more from a relationship.. Edited June 14, 2011 by Mack05
Author LjHappyDays Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Hey Thank you. Hes not a bad person, but your right he shouldnt have spoke to me like that - its totally no respect - and i no he once did have respect for me. Since i have split up with him i have had alot of guys chatting to me etc, im not been vein at all, but i am attractive... He was only jealous and i no that... he only wanted to reassure himself im gunna be there for him when he starts to miss me. Well from now on its NC - i have stuff still at his but i will go round when he isnt there to get it when i get my flat. You are soooooo helpful on here. Im so glad i found LS. Thank You
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