anechka Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Ok, so my ex and I are still seeing each other after we broke up. It is like we are in a relationship but we aren't labeling ourselves. Kind of like wading the waters before we jump back into one. Anyways, now our time spent together is severely limited because he doesn't want to tell his parents about us even hanging out again. Our time is cut short, and he is limiting himself to staying over once every 2 weeks, as to not arouse suspicion. It is probably worth mentioning that we are 26 years old and not 16. I was biting my tongue on all this until he admitted he is doing this because of pride. When we broke up he was all angry and condemned me and said he'd never give me another chance, and now he doesn't want to seem like he's going back on that. Part of me knows it's his life and his business and since we aren't boyfriend/girlfriend again then I should drop it. But it all seems so ridiculous. The other night his parents didn't know where he was, he had told them he was going to the store and when he didn't come back after two hours they freaked out. He didn't have his phone, and they were out looking for him and calling his friends, meanwhile he was with me the whole time. Isn't this all unnecessary? If I should talk to him about it, then what do I say without making him mad? Or should I let it go and deal with it for now, since eventually a month or two down the road he does plan on telling them we are hanging out.
0hpenelope Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Ok, so my ex and I are still seeing each other after we broke up. It is like we are in a relationship but we aren't labeling ourselves. Kind of like wading the waters before we jump back into one. Anyways, now our time spent together is severely limited because he doesn't want to tell his parents about us even hanging out again. Our time is cut short, and he is limiting himself to staying over once every 2 weeks, as to not arouse suspicion. It is probably worth mentioning that we are 26 years old and not 16. I was biting my tongue on all this until he admitted he is doing this because of pride. When we broke up he was all angry and condemned me and said he'd never give me another chance, and now he doesn't want to seem like he's going back on that. Part of me knows it's his life and his business and since we aren't boyfriend/girlfriend again then I should drop it. But it all seems so ridiculous. The other night his parents didn't know where he was, he had told them he was going to the store and when he didn't come back after two hours they freaked out. He didn't have his phone, and they were out looking for him and calling his friends, meanwhile he was with me the whole time. Isn't this all unnecessary? If I should talk to him about it, then what do I say without making him mad? Or should I let it go and deal with it for now, since eventually a month or two down the road he does plan on telling them we are hanging out. How much are you willing to tolerate for this kind of set up? For him, it's about pride. He's being honest and if you're willing to tolerate this, then I think it's reasonable to hold him to that "a month or two down the road" w/o outwardly saying it. And he is going back on him saying all those things but... that's what working on second chances involves. We all say things we don't mean and perhaps, he doesn't realize this yet. It's okay, you know. Feelings are never absolute and that's basically what happened to him: he felt sure about the break up, then he felt like maybe things can work out. Don't be a doormat, anechka. You're right to feel uneasy about how things are going but at the same time, be open-minded and understanding of things without being a doormat. He came back, he's willing to work it out. Your feelings can change, too: right now, you're willing, but in the future you won't be willing. As for your ex, yeesh. Another support for my theory that sometimes, it really is best to hold my tongue, especially when I'm feeling very emotionally high, whether it's good or bad. Good luck! I hope others respond to you and please take anything we say here with a grain of salt.
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