jh2586 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Hello loveshack community. I'm new here. Here's my situation. I've been talking to this girl who I kinda/sorta like but not totally into. I've been single for a very long time and I will admit that I get very lonely at times. I know she's not my "ideal" type but I was willing to give her a chance and maybe get to know her better. So I booked a plane ticket for her to see me in October. She's from Arizona and I'm from California. She's very sweet but she really likes me a lot; sometimes too much. That is part of the reason why I just can't get into her. She's too clingy in my eyes. Now I recently met another girl. She is amazing! We totally click and everytime we talk to each other, it just makes us happy. This new girl really is genuine and sweet. Words can't explain how I feel about her and I am almost certain that we will end up being together. I have been talking to her for the past 2 months now. So here's my dilemma.. How do I break it to the first girl? Should I just tell her up-front that I've found someone else? Should I distant myself from her first so I can gradually tell her that we've been growing apart? I don't want to lie and I don't want to break her heart, but I'm afraid it's going to happen. Any advice would be great.
Eeyore79 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 You haven't even met the first girl? I really don't think it's a big deal to tell someone you've never met that you're not interested in a relationship. Ok, so you booked a plane ticket - but it was your money, right? If she paid for the plane ticket then it would be fair to cover any losses she makes in canceling it. One thing I will say, however, is that simply fading on her is despicable. She'll be confused and hurt, wondering why you're ignoring her and trying to justify your behavior. I've had it done to me before and it really hurts, much more than simply being told straight that someone wants to end our relationship. Just tell her you don't see a future for the two of you, cancel the plane ticket and leave her alone.
Author jh2586 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 You haven't even met the first girl? I really don't think it's a big deal to tell someone you've never met that you're not interested in a relationship. Ok, so you booked a plane ticket - but it was your money, right? If she paid for the plane ticket then it would be fair to cover any losses she makes in canceling it. One thing I will say, however, is that simply fading on her is despicable. She'll be confused and hurt, wondering why you're ignoring her and trying to justify your behavior. I've had it done to me before and it really hurts, much more than simply being told straight that someone wants to end our relationship. Just tell her you don't see a future for the two of you, cancel the plane ticket and leave her alone. Okay so should I tell her that I've found someone else or should I just simply tell her that it's not going to work out? The problem I foresee is that she might be confused if I just tell her that it won't work out. She will be thinking of reasons why. Hell, she might even ask me why.
Mack05 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 For me mate the actual truth is the best way to go. Just be sympathetic/apologetic and answer any questions she might have honestly and openly. Show the same kind of class that would like, if someone was breaking up with you..Nothing worse then being dumped in a cowardly way.
Author jh2586 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Thanks for the advice. I was definitely leaning towards that as well. I don't like lying, so the truth will come out. Thanks again.
Author jh2586 Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 So I did it. I broke it to her. She didn't take it too well. She took me off of her Facebook friend list and I haven't heard from her since. Maybe it's best that way.
EgoJoe Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Well, truth be told you probably never would have known without meeting her BUT she will someday be greatful for your honesty when a douchebag pulls some bull****. You have also proved to be a real man by telling the truth.
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