CaliLover1984 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) So this guy I was dating broke up with me in the most harsh manner ever: a text message! Just said he wanted a clean break so he could move on. His main reason was that I didn't give him enough attention/didn't show enough interest. Sad thing is, it was all due to miscommunication and a fear of rejection that we both share. But of course this doesn't come out til the end. So it was a pretty crazy break up, lots of emotional texts, emails etc. He told me to move on. Right after, he went crazy, going on dating sites, contacting ALL his ex gfs, etc. Anyway, I went NC immediately(delete #, fb, etc), excluding running into him (we work near eachother) a few days later, in which I was just short and polite. So about 6 weeks pass, and I get a random text from him regarding a sports team we both like. Just saomething about them winning a certain game or what not. I did NOT want to respond, but I ended up responding hours later just something short and close ended. This made me start thinking about him all over again ( I really liked him), and had the urge to contact him. So I sent him a picture of my recent trip to NYC, in reference to a place we both really liked. He responded, said the pic was really cool, said he was going to NYC in a month and asked if I had any recommendations for places to check out. Again, I responded. I guess my rationalization was that the reason he broke up with me in the first place is bc I didn't show enough interest. So i wrote him a really nice email back, with suggestions of places to go. And NO response! Not even a thank you! What caused him to do that? Guilt? Ego? If it was guilt, then won't that just add to it by him not even saying a thank you to me sending a nice helpful email to him? I know this sounds selfish but I do not WANT to have alleviated his guilt. Do dumpers tend to contact again? Any input would be appreciated! Thanks! Edited June 14, 2011 by CaliLover1984
shook187 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 dumpers love the satisfaction knowing you'll talk to them after a certain period of time, it's because they are guilty and if you are now acting like his friend, he feels a sense of relief. i'm not giving my ex girlfriend that satisfaction.
tryingtoforget83 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 My ex dumped me for the same reason. He said he felt unloved. I had made a lot of effort to make him feel loved chatting to him for hours during my work day, etc. He accused me of faking my love because the only reason (in his opinion) that I was making the effort was because he told me he wanted that. Anyways, a few days after he breakup he sent an email asking why I was not on chat(?). Then another long email to say goodbye, as if we have not said it already. Then he posted another goodbye note on his fb wall saying that I'm the greatest girl he's ever met. I was surprised that he sent the email because I thought he has made himself clear during the breakup. He's quite desperate now contacting and re-adding his exes on fb. I would agree that your ex wants some kind of attention from you to know that he could still contact you. I felt that my ex wanted me to keep contacting him even tho he said he didn't want to do the friendship thing. I just realized how immature and selfish he is by continuing to contact me. It's an ego thing in my opinion especially if he has abandonment and trust issues. Sigh.
Author CaliLover1984 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 trying to forget83 - Thats exactly what this guy did! Added all his exes on facebook. So weird - why do they do that?! I guess that tells us they will be adding us the next time they break up with someone! I;m sure we will be over them by then and no accept! lol
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