PropertyChaser Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) Hey guys, I'm not gonna bother discussing the details of my breakup because it happened so long ago, it's what's been happening the last two months that have been bothering me and I hope to get your guys advice. Obviously, like all relationships, it ended for it's own reasons, but the last few months have been really bizarre. About 6 months ago, my ex has been seeing another guy, despite this I've still been getting phone calls, texts about fond times we spent together, about how she still wants to take a trip with me back to a place we went to a while ago, or how she bought a new car that I would really enjoy driving and would totally approve of and how she would love for me to come and see. During this time, I've tried to remind her that this is inappropriate since she is dating someone. None the less, these things have come up. After a little while of playing cat and mouse, waiting for her, for once to finally come through on something. Please note, her inability to come through on things is why I broke up with her. I finally said enough is enough, and I kindly (though bluntly) explained to her that it was really unfair for her to put me through this again, and that I was more than happy to do things with her, if she actually found it within herself to cross that proverbial line in the sand, and turn her wishes into reality. To be candid, I have always turned what she wanted and what I wanted into reality, whether it was planning a trip, finding us an apartment, or finding a new job to keep a roof over our head. My track record leaves nothing left to prove. I'm a man of my word, and I never leave people hanging. This 'calling her out' so to speak has precipitated a cascade of events.. and I'm at a crossroads, or rather, I think both she and I are at a crossroads. The tension is in the air, I can feel it. The day after that email telling her how I was unhappy with how things between us were screwed up and imbalanced, I received 4 phone calls from her. One at 7:00AM, one at 9:00AM, one at 10:30AM, and one at 1:00PM, she was upset and sad. This inevitably ended up with a tirade of texts being sent to me that she was pissed I wasn't picking up her calls. Truthfully, I had had a serious night of drinking, I didn't wake up until after her fourth call. Long story short she was upset that I wasn't picking up her calls and that she respected me enough to always pick up my calls when I was upset. This is where things go nuts. I return her call. She doesn't pick up. Eventually she says she's busy but will call me tomorrow. She doesn't call. Very ironic. Then she starts texting me about hockey of all teh random things (both of our favourite teams are in the stanley cup finals). After a days of this, I told her to stop patronizing me and to leave me alone until she actually wants to return my call, and talk about what it is that made her so upset. The last 3-4 weeks has been a back and forth banter, ultimately, she's made getting a hold of her such a challenging task, that it literally sucks the joy out of things. Each time I've tried to follow up with her, she won't return my texts, and finally when I point out to her the irony of this situation, I get a cryptic simple text: do you want to call? If I don't return that text immediately it is followed up with: I guess that is a no. She stretches me out like an elastic band in so many different ways. Obviously, on a certain level, this girl still likes me. Last time I saw her (6 months after we broke up, and 4 months after she started seeing this guy) she was still talking marriage, kids, and our life together. But like all things, she never comes through. I'm not really sure what to do, because it feels like trying to get a hold of her is such a chore, that the rewards will never be worth it. On the other hand, I feel that if I don't... I might be depriving myself of an opportunity. What should I do? Edited June 14, 2011 by PropertyChaser
Eddie Edirol Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 This is coming from first hand experience. Youre chasing her, she is enjoying the attention, she doesnt still like you. She is just feeding you things to keep you chasing after her, possibly because her new guy isnt as into her as she is into him. If she had any attraction to you whatsoever, she wouldnt flake on ANYTHING. So stop chasing her. Youre beasting a dead horse. She will never be attracted to you as long as you let her play games with you like this. You have to cut her off totally, put your foot down, and be prepared to not hear from her again. She will try to keep you coming back, but you have to move on. if you dont stop talking to her entirely, you will never open your mind up to new and better women.
Author PropertyChaser Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) This is coming from first hand experience. Youre chasing her, she is enjoying the attention, she doesnt still like you. She is just feeding you things to keep you chasing after her, possibly because her new guy isnt as into her as she is into him. If she had any attraction to you whatsoever, she wouldnt flake on ANYTHING. So stop chasing her. Youre beasting a dead horse. She will never be attracted to you as long as you let her play games with you like this. You have to cut her off totally, put your foot down, and be prepared to not hear from her again. She will try to keep you coming back, but you have to move on. if you dont stop talking to her entirely, you will never open your mind up to new and better women. I'm not sure how accurate this is for a few reasons, the most obvious being she herself brought up me moving to be with her out of no where, she called me up out of the and said she thought about it all the time. Also, I never incited the invitation to take a trip, or to visit her either. I am not playing these games with her, I told her to cut it out and she keeps poking me. I can tell you exactly why she is flaking, it's because (and I quote her) 'If you and I ever see each other again, it's because we are going to get back together.' It's serious business. For the record, I'm dating two girls right now and I'm doing okay with moving on, I'd just really like to have this settled once and for all because I don't have time for these loose ends. Edited June 14, 2011 by PropertyChaser
wilsonx Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Its accurate, trust me i thought the same thing of my ex... shes still ****ing gaming me and she knows I know she is. My personal pet peeve is flaking. One time good excuse accepted... second time your done for this reason... no if ands or buts about it... only exception is my personal bloodline...
Author PropertyChaser Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Its accurate, trust me i thought the same thing of my ex... shes still ****ing gaming me and she knows I know she is. My personal pet peeve is flaking. One time good excuse accepted... second time your done for this reason... no if ands or buts about it... only exception is my personal bloodline... I very much agree with you and I feel the same way about flaking. I also feel the same way about making something that's so easy very difficult, it just pisses me off. On the other hand, I feel that I should just call her and deal with this ****.
dng Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) Please note, her inability to come through on things is why I broke up with her. My track record leaves nothing left to prove. I'm a man of my word, and I never leave people hanging. But like all things, she never comes through. What should I do? Tug of war, turmoil. You are in a fog and you're not seeing clearly. You see all the pieces but you can't see the picture. No matter how wonderful, pretty, smart she is, you two have a fondamental difference in the way you see things. You're reliable, she's not. You won't become unreliable to accomodate her needs, and she won't become reliable to accomodate yours: She simply doesn't understand the concept and most likely never will. You think she's being reliable to this guy she's with? She's still keeping you around. I know people like her and they are hellish to be around when you're a standup guy. They always endup with douches because no one in their right mind (except for me and you) sticks around for someone who doesn't come throught and cannot be trusted with love and well being. If you keep talking to her and pushing her she'll keep on hurting you, she's already showed you she's ok with that. You have to be very careful with people like that, I bet she always blames everything on you... You're not missing out on anything, she is but she doesn't know and never will. She's not on your level when it comes to emotions and never will be. Please, abandon her and move on, reject that guilt. Edited June 14, 2011 by dng
Eddie Edirol Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I'd just really like to have this settled once and for all because I don't have time for these loose ends. Youre obviously making time for the loose ends, and you'll keep doing when you believe she is sincere. She will NEVER help you settle this when shes getting attention. You will wait forever if youre waiting for her to help you settle this. The way to settle it is to date the other two girls, and stop taking your exes calls. Ignore her for life. Everything she tells you is only to string you along, nothing else. "If you and I ever see each other again, it's because we are going to get back together" That his her giving you false hope to keep your attention and youre falling for it. She will never meet up with you to see if this is true. Not stop thihnking of her and give the other two women a chance.
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