nresteiner Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Hello All, My gf and I have been together for about 4 months, one of them long distance. We're both in college, and I broke up with her in late April because I felt she didn't care about me as much as I cared about her(saying I love you only when I said it first, not being very affectionate, slamming the door in my face when I brought her gifts to make up for annoying her the night before, and telling me she couldn't drop everything to talk about our problems). She wanted us to stay friends, and I agreed(bad mistake) saying I wanted to work on issues from my end that played a part in ending our relationship. We talked some more, and she said that she would always change whatever I asked her to in our relationship when I said something had bothered me. This was untrue, as I expressed that I would like to be complimented and flirted with a bit more, as it seemed she did so to everyone but me. She brushed off my concerns. We planned to try again next semester, she said she couldn't think of anything from her end that she could work on over the summer, as that was the way she'd always been. We went long distance about one month ago. At first everything was fine, we texted a couple times a day, called good night etc. I'd text her telling her that I was thinking of her and missed her. She would sometimes reply, but usually was sleeping, even at noon. Lately, things have been strained though. She told me she bought a two piece bathing suit, then thought it was inappropriate that I asked what color it was. I just lost my job and had some family problems, when I let her know I'd had a bad day, her response was "Have a great night!". It annoyed me that she didn't ask for details or offer any sympathy, just something generic like that. She told me I was smothering her, so I backed off for a couple of days, and told her I wouldn't call or text as much then. I texted her a couple of days later and she flipped out, saying "... this wouldn't have even become an annoyance if you listened to me the first time." All right, fine I did listen to her, but I gave her some more space and called her Friday. She told me she knew I was going through a rough time, but her Grandma and her were going through some depression(as am I) and she could only help one person at a time. She then proceeded to tell me what I had been doing wrong, and asked when I was going to send her a cd I said I would try to get. We said we'd talk Sunday. Friday I sent her a good night text, Saturday I let her know I was thinking about her and if she needed me to let me know. I didn't expect to hear from her from those, and I haven't. I called her yesterday and texted her a couple hours later when she didn't answer, just asking how her weekend has been. I thought she would call since we agreed on a day, but she hasn't. It's not like she's busy, she has no job and nothing to do all day but sit around. I'm getting tired of being made to feel like the bad guy for caring about her and getting nothing in return. I'm not even going to bother trying to contact her this week and see what she does, but my hopes aren't high. Any advice, thoughts on what anyone thinks is going on would be appreciated.
pincher76 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Time to move on buddy. Anybody who say's your smothering them when you text/call/email because you're in a LDR is no longer interested. She should be happy to hear from you, no matter what. If she loves you, than she wants nothing more than to hear from you and can't wait to see you. You deserve someone who feels that way about you. She doesn't.
creighton0123 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Move on. You have a typical, but not abnormally immature relationship. You're both approaching things in a way that you should not repeat and will inevitably learn not to repeat. Relationships that work are never this difficult. It may hurt, but I'd say you break up with her and then have no contact. Who knows. Perhaps in a few years you may encounter one another, both in other functional and happy relationships and will be able to laugh about how immature and young you both were when you dated. That's usually how it goes.
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