Steadfast Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 http://www.hercampus.com/love/digital-world-cheating-facebook-gchat-texting-sexting My take on this remains unchanged. Just because someone uses something for the wrong purpose, that doesn't make the something wrong. Keep in mind my ex (like practically everyone these days) used her cell and IM to help her cheat. I admit it. I hated that phone...but I realized even then it was the Indian; not the arrow. Bottom line? Technology is power. Some people 'do' power better than others. The weak or shallow will use whatever is at their disposal to gain what their selfish desires demand. Some use technology to save or enrichen lives, others use it to ruin them. 2
Mr.Harris Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 http://www.hercampus.com/love/digital-world-cheating-facebook-gchat-texting-sexting My take on this remains unchanged. Just because someone uses something for the wrong purpose, that doesn't make the something wrong. Keep in mind my ex (like practically everyone these days) used her cell and IM to help her cheat. I admit it. I hated that phone...but I realized even then it was the Indian; not the arrow. Bottom line? Technology is power. Some people 'do' power better than others. The weak or shallow will use whatever is at their disposal to gain what their selfish desires demand. Some use technology to save or enrichen lives, others use it to ruin them. The technology is not a problem. Facebook is not a problem. The people who uses those services are the problem. 1
carhill Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I got sidetracked by 'Diary of a 36DD' I see technology as a tool. Each of us wields that tool in our own unique style.
YellowShark Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I don't see technology as the issue. People have been cheating since the dawn of mankind. What I *do* see is a problem is how EASY things like cell phones, IMs, and Facebook make cheating. Your spouse can literally sit in the same room as you on a laptop and scour Facebook for old flames and message them without you even being aware. Then they can then chat via Facebook or other IM services right in front of you as you watch TV without your knowledge. So for me it's the person who is ultimately faulty, not the tool. Yet I do LOTHE Facebook because if you read through loveshack it *IS* one of the main "tools" repeatedly quoted time and time again that torpedoed the relationship in some way. I don't have to prove it... just simply start opening threads at Loveshack and search for the word "Facebook."
Author Steadfast Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Yet I do LOTHE Facebook because if you read through loveshack it *IS* one of the main "tools" repeatedly quoted time and time again that torpedoed the relationship in some way. I don't have to prove it... just simply start opening threads at Loveshack and search for the word "Facebook." I was thinking of you when I posted this YS. Not trying to start trouble tho! IMO, you're both right and wrong. If I may, it seems your 'deeper thinking' on the subject indicates that sites like Facebook make cheating and deception so easy that it's impossible for many to resist. Yet, please consider that I use FB, have a cell, use email, Skype, etc, but never cheated. It doesn't tempt me more than say, a pretty face at the mall. Christ was once teaching the Jews and mentioned the commandment against adultery. He took that law to the next level by saying one who even thinks of such things is also guilty of it. The message is clear; the problem starts in our brain, or heart. The rest facilitate our desire. But you are right. By its nature Facebook makes cheating easier.
YellowShark Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I was thinking of you when I posted this YS. Not trying to start trouble tho! IMO, you're both right and wrong. If I may, it seems your 'deeper thinking' on the subject indicates that sites like Facebook make cheating and deception so easy that it's impossible for many to resist. Yet, please consider that I use FB, have a cell, use email, Skype, etc, but never cheated. It doesn't tempt me more than say, a pretty face at the mall. Christ was once teaching the Jews and mentioned the commandment against adultery. He took that law to the next level by saying one who even thinks of such things is also guilty of it. The message is clear; the problem starts in our brain, or heart. The rest facilitate our desire. But you are right. By its nature Facebook makes cheating easier. Ya. I know I am the most vocal anti-Facebook guy here. Guilty as charged! But you have to admit Facebook allows you to find, connect, and chat with old flames - that you would never have re-connected with before - with just a few simple clicks of a mouse. And it allows you to do all those things while your partner can literally be in the same room. To me it is the ultimate cheating tool because you can locate old flames in virtually seconds. No matter where they are. A cell phone or IM client doesn't allow you to do that.
Linda9999 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I think that technology sucks in many people who otherwise wouldn't have been sucked in. It's SO EASY. And it's much easier to rationalize to oneself that online flirting isn't really cheating than it is to rationalize that face to face flirting isn't cheating. I think that what technology provides is a doorway that for many is too irresistible to open, whereas without the technology those same people would have resisted. One analogy could be starting smoking: how many kids are offered a cigarette by someone else and they take it, whereas they never would have gone out and bought their own? On the other hand, there are many who still do refuse that first smoke even when waved right in front of their face. Technology weeds out the weak from the strong in that regard.
Author Steadfast Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 I think that technology sucks in many people who otherwise wouldn't have been sucked in. It's SO EASY. And it's much easier to rationalize to oneself that online flirting isn't really cheating than it is to rationalize that face to face flirting isn't cheating. Excellent point. This is the conclusion I've come to as well. And YS? Your feedback, advice and outlook is some of the best I've seen on this forum. I may not always agree, but I do stop to read. Everytime.
YellowShark Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Excellent point. This is the conclusion I've come to as well. And YS? Your feedback, advice and outlook is some of the best I've seen on this forum. I may not always agree, but I do stop to read. Everytime. That's very kind to say. Thanks. But I understand, it is hard to agree with me all the time... I think it's cuz I grew up near power lines!
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