nini Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Dont know what to do! My boyfriend and I have been fighting for months, we cant go for a week without a huge fight that goes on for 2-3d days (I've written other threads about this)... I relocated to Cambridge coz we were going to get married and was meant to live in his house with him, but due to work I've been travelling and have only been back in Cambridge every other weekend or so... I am currently in Northampton and this is my last job which requires to be away from Cambridge so the plan was to go back to Cambridge on Thursday 16th June and then we could be together all the time... Big fight on Saturday morning simply because I was worried about the progress he was making with his thesis and he thought (or should I say correctly predicted) that I was upset and I was going to kick off and there was going to be a big fight. Obviously, the minute he started going 'are you upset now, i know this will be a big fight' it wound me up majorly and we ended up having a 8 hour fight which ended with the following texts from him which I havent replied to: "You treat me like ****. pure ****, do u realise that. U wouldnt treat a dog how you treat me" "U always tell me how bad am doing, how wrong I've acted, how this and that, always ignore what I have to say, your idea of love is me doing everything for u and begging you all the time" "And yes, a lot of the problems in my life are because of the stress you put me constantly under, n u dont care even the slightest what u put me through, am someone u can abuse anytime u bloody like" "Anyway you are so selfcentred you only care about yourself" "When I tell you whats wrong u ignore it or tell me that I'm thinking badly about u! Hahaha u are so hypocritical" "I agree its over forever now. Nothing will ever ever ever get us back together.We'll arrange for a place for u next weekend and I will put your stuff and never ever talk to u again. That's it!" "I have had enough of this life of constant stress and fighting because you cant even be happy for even two minutes" "You have abused me more than anything, if you did that to anyone else they would have told u to get lost long ago" "What did u show me? You showed me that life is hell...thanks a lot" "I wont take care of myself, my life isnt worth anything" I didnt reply to any of these texts, coz his words hurt soooo much. I have loved him so much, moved away from my family, relocated twice coz of him... And then he sent this text a few hours later: "Miss you always and forever more xxxx I'll wait for you in afterlife, things will be perfect there xxxxx I'm never going to be with anyone again". I didnt reply. We havent spoken to each other in 2 days now, the longest we've gone without speaking in our 4 year LD relationship. My emotions: - Am so soo scared, I have to go back to Cambridge on Thursday and have absolutely nowhere to stay, I cant afford a hotel for more than 1-2 nights and am so worried about my exams. - He knows all my stuff, including books to revise etc are at his place. Its like he knows I will have to get in touch so he doesnt care. - How could he stop caring/loving me? This was the same guy who once came to visit me and when he was leaving I teared up and said "I wish you didnt have to go" and he teared up as well. Does he not care anymore? Or is he really mad at me? What should I do? He has told me a million times how unhappy I make him and how bad life with me is, so I know I should just let him go...the guy whom I was so madly in love with and who loved me to bits is gone...all the fighting changed him. Should I get in touch and say I need somewhere to stay till I find a place? Or should I just get a hotel and try find somewhere to rent? What kind of a guy is he if he knows I have nowhere to stay and isnt bothered?? Maybe he will call by Thursday? My heart hurts soooo bad, why did he get so mean/bitter towards me? This wasnt the guy I fell in love with
lovesickmonkey Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Ohhh. I feel so bad for you reading this. There seems to be numerous posts where a breakup interferes with a critical part in a student's career. If I lived anywhere near there, I'd open up my house for you. There's plenty of room now, I assure you.
Author nini Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 I just checked his facebook and he's still got all our pictures on and our picture together as his profile pic...can I take hope from this? Does it mean that we just had a bad fight and he thinks of me as his girlfriend? what should I do? Love hurts!!! :'(
lovesickmonkey Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Actually, you're lucky that the two of you at least had a fight! I was left during the dead of night (figuratively). No fight, no argument, just "I'm leaving, here's the ring, it's over." So I'd be much more worried if he said he was leaving under calm circumstances, rather than in the passion of battle.
Author nini Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 I feel so sad...we've waited 4 long years to be together and now that we're going to be living in the same city...its over???? I thought good times were about to start...why did he give up on me? was I so bad? he says the past 4 years with me were pure hell, then why did he say he loved me??? I want to hate him, but I cant :'(
Author nini Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Just got back to my hotel room...I have to study but I cant stop crying, I feel so weak...last time I ate was Saturday morning...I cant live without him, I love him so much, he was my forever, why did it go so wrong?? Why couldnt I be a better girlfriend?Why did I lose him like that? I miss him so much, it hurts..I wish my mum was here to give me a hug and tell me it will be ok, that I'll be happy again, that my heart wont feel like someone is crushing it to pieces, that I'll be able to breathe again... I'm praying/begging to God that he'll call me...one sign that he cares will make me feel better...
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